Dying On The Inside
by wolf in moonlight
Summary: Takes place after most recent chapter. Allen is in despair and lost after learning of the 14th and now unsure if Mana ever loved him at all. Questioning those words that have guided him through life "keep walking forward" Words from Road make a difference
1. The Last Person I Wanted To See

This is my first real shot at writing a fan fiction series. I'm gonna put my best effort into this thing so stick with me on this one and PLEASE REVIEW because it helps tremendously to hear from people who are actually reading it. It will help with writing new chapters as well as encouraging me to continue the story. Nothing as bad as having a story just die on you without a proper ending right?

**Plot: Picks up after the most recent issue of D Gray-Man, chapter 178, after having recruited Timothy. Allen has begun to doubt the path he now walks having lost the trust he held in Mana. Allen learning he was the 14th Noah and his memories will be overwritten with the 14th's has lost hope in all he believed in. He is still walking forward but he now no longer knows why since his relationship with Mana could have all been a lie. Lost and with uncertainty in his heart, Allen finds comfort in those who know his pain best. The Noah. **

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Allen, Link, Kanda, and Noise Marie have managed to survive the attack on the orphanage while attempting to recruit the young boy Timothy, better known as "Mysterious Thief G," into their ranks. The orphanage was completely destroyed however and their weren't many survivors excluding the exorcists. Timothy was convinced to join the order after the death of Mother Superior, the doting nun who was like a mother figure to him. The loss of the only home and family he's ever really had at the hands of akuma and that akuma are in his words "souls of people who have been turned into toys or something." He hated his father for treating him like that. To save their souls the similar fate he held at his fathers hand and to protect others from the suffering he was now grieving over, Timothy went with Allen and became an exorcist.

That was the good news. Everything else was far from positive. Link was hospitalized in critical condition after his encounter with the akuma. A non-exorcist fighting an akuma and SURVIVING was unheard of. He should have been thanking his lucky stars if he was conscious long enough to do so which unfortunately he wasn't.

Noise Marie had lost his fingers in the fight against the level four akuma, forced to sever them himself to save himself from the akuma's deadly poison. It was difficult to adjust to and already having the handicap of being blind made this harder to deal with.

Perhaps the worst was the effect on Timothy. He had resolved himself to fighting the akuma but had just been through a traumatic experience seeing the only family he had known butchered. Watching Monster's fight with men to the death, both fighting tooth and nail in savage display. Timothy was young and unused to blood, death, and the like. He was having difficulty coping with the experience. His relationship with Allen had taken to a younger brother/older brother role.

Allen was the only one who could really relate to the young boy since both were orphans, had trust issues, and had a traumatic childhood. Allen put on a mask of cheerfulness trying to help the young boy sort through his problems and find a home and family here at the order.

Allen marveled at how similar Timothy was to the way he himself was when he was younger. He was just as rude, angry, and untrusting as Allen himself had been before he met Mana (although Timothy was more of a crybaby but Allen would never say that out loud).

But for Allen, maintaining that smile of his that was a lie was getting harder each day when you live thinking all you believed in and know is a lie. That you are slowly dying inside because of the 14th and there is nothing you can do about it. That everything you've worked for all these years. All the suffering , pain, struggling, fighting. All the effort and fighting, all to walk his own path as he promised Mana. All of it was meaningless. In the end it didn't really matter.

The one driving motivation in his life was now in doubt. Mana had made Allen promise as he lay dying to "always keep walking forward no matter what. Keep walking forward Allen."

That day Allen had died inside, he had no reason to live. Those words Mana gave him and the love they shared were all that kept him going. He was basically a walking corpse. He kept on living solely for the one he loved

Existing on those words, they were his foundation, his rock. They were his source of guidance, knowing that they were the words of wisdom by which he could live by because they had come from the only family he had ever really known.

But now all that was in doubt. Had Mana really loved Allen or was it the memory of Mana's brother, the 14th Noah, that was inside Allen that he loved? When he said those words, "I love you," was he talking to Allen or to the 14th?

Allen had kept walking forward. Living for Mana. Living for the demon akuma, to free them from their suffering. Living to protect the humans which were precious to him. He didn't live for himself but for those two reasons and he had sacrificed his blood, sweat, tears, and screams countless times for them. Now what? He no longer had any reason to keep walking forward and thus why did he fight for the demons and the humans?

All these thoughts sifted through Allen's mind and the mask of cheerfulness he always wore was gone, his head downcast. Sorrow and hopelessness in his countenance as he walked around inside the ark.

The one good thing about Link's injuries were they finally allowed him to get some breathing room. It had been quite some time since he had been allowed to be alone, no one breathing down the back of his neck watching him and scrutinizing his every move fearing he was a security risk. Since Levrier had left to return to Black Order headquarters in Rome before Link had been injured he wasn't there to appoint someone else to keep an eye on Walker and he was finally able to relax.

With Komui now back in charge things had returned to normal...sorta. Allen wasn't supposed to be allowed to use the ark but Komui would turn a blind eye to this and pretended he didn't know anything. If asked he would just smile and say "I had no idea Allen was using the ark." That was the kinda of relationship Allen had with Komui, one of complete trust willing to bend the rules for him.

The 'tap tap tap' of the Allen's feet as he walked down the tile pathway being the only sound inside the ark in a world seemingly devoid of all life and it was eerie.

Allen then, without any vitality or vigor in his act, opened a portal which was his reason for being inside the ark to begin with (well that and to be alone so he could drop the guise of cheerfulness he just couldn't hold up anymore).

As he touched the knob of the nearest door, willing it with his power as the player to shift dimensional space to his desired location, there was a slight glowing light as Allen turned the knob and let the door creak open. The light glowing brightly and gradually increasing as the door swung open to reveal more.

Allen stepped through the portal, that lost and hopeless look on his face still evident and obvious. As Allen stepped out of the light he had arrived at his desired location.

The environment was not pleasant, it was night and an abandoned church stood behind Allen. It was covered in overgrowth yet nature had seemingly made it a more peaceful place then before. It's intimidating architecture now calmed by presence of flora. The surrounding yard had also been overtaken by greenery and had thrived, some trees stood with a dark color to their leaves made only worse by the darkness of the night creating a morbid atmosphere but it was appropriate given his location. Their branches seemed to hang low as if to match Allen's sorrow. Grass and mud intermingled along the ground.

All around Allen there lay tombstones. Their epitaphs hard to read having been warn away by the ravages of time and nature. Those that had not been covered by weeds and plants were also present.

The white haired exorcist stepped through the soft, muddy, earth searching for the specific grave he had come here to visit. It didn't take long. It wasn't an extravagant headstone and as such it paled by comparison to the other tombstones and had been effected by the elements to a greater degree than the others. The epitaph still barely visible and cracks having formed in the granite. It was in a back corner and was overshadowed by a tree and the other headstones, it was practically hidden but wasn't difficult to find if it was the specific one you were searching for as Allen was now.

Allen stood before it, his head hung low looking at the ground as he was dressing in his exorcist uniform. Allen spoke softly as he raised his head but loudly enough to be heard as he hoped whatever spirit might still be lingering behind may be able to hear.

".....Hello......Mana..."

His voice drifted off, nothing followed those words except Allen's sorrow filled silver orbs that to gaze upon the tombstone. The glazed look and pain in his eyes showed his mind was elsewhere, a time long ago past.

There were another pair of eyes that gazed with deep rooted concern although they were not the young exorcists and the presence remained unknown to him. Road Kamelot looked down upon Allen from the nearby tree with a look of concern and sympathy on her face. Her legs dangled over the side of the branch as her sight lingered on the form directly below her.

Road was not in her usual attire however. Instead she donned a formal dress that was quite modest in honestly. Yet the dress showed she was wearing stockings and it was shoulder less with sleeves only running halfway down her arms. Modest yes, but it declared her as a young lady and enticed the eye as such.

Her hair was down in a fashion that was quite unlike her tomboyish behavior and a bow adorned her hair. The outfit was finished by a pair of formal shoes rather than heels (she couldn't walk in those yet nor did she want to but since her thoughts had started to revolve around the young exorcist she had given them a shot and had been practicing. Heels sucked!)

Road was practically unrecognizable the way she looked now. You couldn't tell of her tomboyish and sadistic streak by the feminine appearance she now wore announcing to the world she was just about to become a woman.

The dark clouds that loomed over the night soon gave way to thunder signaling the approaching rainfall which explained why Road had an umbrella.

The thunder was followed by the sound of raindrops hitting the soft earth of the cemetery. Despite this the demeanor of the exorcist beneath her did not change. The dark aura of sorrow and hopelessness still loomed strongly. The rain had no effect on him. He didn't care.

It was rather fitting really, it matched his mood. It was good he didn't look up to the sky when the rain had started otherwise he would have seen his silent admirer.

Road silently opened her umbrella protecting her from the falling water. After some time had passed and Road realized that Allen wouldn't leave because of the rain. He had been standing there with a glazed look on his face for a while now. He probably wouldn't be leaving anytime soon and his clothes were already drenched.

Road hopped down from her position and silently landed beside Allen, who remained unaware of her presence.

The blue haired girl calmly walked up to Allen until her umbrella was able to cover him as well as herself. Noticing that the rain was no longer hitting due to an umbrella, Allen turned quite suddenly with shock at another person's presence.

His surprise only grew once he saw who it was. It took a moment for the face to register what with the change from her usual attire. But once her voice met his ears he instantly recognized her.

"Allen-_kun_." the lengthening and change in the tone and pitch of the suffix. There was no mistaking who it was. Only one person Allen knew of spoke to him like that.

"Road!"

Allen widened the distance between them and his body tensed and braced for battle. "What do you want Road!" The white haired exorcist was instantly defense at the sign of his enemy. A fight was soon to follow assuredly. Maybe the Earl had decided to finish him off while he was alone and without backup remembering the recent assassination attempt that occurred at the orphanage.

Road tilted her head slightly, It looked as though tears had been running down Allen's face the moment before she made her presence known. But with the rain she couldn't be sure. How does one distinguish tears from rain? They are all the same when one is suffering.

Keeping her head tilted, she added a light smile. Finishing the cute expression by tipping her foot turning it in the dirt innocently. "Oh Allen-kun you act as if you aren't happy to see me! I am hurt really." At this she lost her smile and hung her head slightly in mock disappointment.

Allen knew not to let his guard down at her innocent act even if her change in clothes did help. "Don't play with me Road. Not now. What do you want? Are you here to kill me?"

Road now knew that joking would not work at the moment. "Alright Allen-kun. I'll be serious although I was trying to cheer you up." She pouted a little as if to make her point. Still not even a smile from Allen. 'sigh it's to be expected though. Who could laugh after seeing what I could do to them.'

The eldest Noah met his gaze, now putting aside her playful nature for the moment which showed as her eyes and face now took a serious form to match Allen's. "Sigh Allen if I was here to kill you I could have done it a moment ago when I was behind you. It would have been easy wouldn't it?"

The white haired exorcist didn't relax at hearing this but his mind toyed with that idea as he tried to remain vigilant in the presence of such a dangerous foe. His mind saw logic to her reasoning but still kept his guard up. "Then if you aren't here to kill me what are you here for?"

By this point Allen was soaked by the rain. His hair matted down to his head, exorcist robes clung tightly to his body. The warmth of his body leaving to be replaced by the cold of the water's moisture.

"I'm here to see you. That's all."

"Don't toy with me Road! What's the real reason?"

Road met his accusing gaze. There was no humorous look in her eyes as there was when he had met her before. It lacked the joy, wonder, and hint of sadism of the times past he had seen her. As if the change in clothes had changed her as a person. Her eyes were serious and held the tone to match.

"I **really** am here to see you Allen. Not to kill you. Not to entertain myself. And not to do the earl's work or under anyone's orders. Just to talk with you."

Allen's mind try to process this information. There was no glint in her eyes that showed the malevolent and mischievous intent he had seen before in it. Instead he saw sincerity!...and....and what else?....it looked like sadness in those eyes. Eyes that held sadness much the same as his own.

Was this a trick? Had she pulled a 180 on him? He kept thinking it was a trick. This was the same girl who had stabbed him in the eye! But her words from before rang true no matter how many times he spun it through his head. If she was going to kill him she could have done it when she was behind him less than two minutes ago.

Her logic and behavior, combined with Allen's kind heart and sorrow filled stated, caused him to relax somewhat. He straightened his back from his battle position and put his hands to his sides.

"How can I trust you?" Allen said in a calm, normal voice. Absent of the tension it held moments ago but still filled with emptiness which matched the look on his face.

Her reply was simple. "besides the fact I could of killed you, you can't. You'll just have to take my word on it. I promise you no harm or abduction will come to you at this time. After you leave or I leave though then we are back to being enemies I'm afraid. But for now we are just two people standing in a graveyard in the rain talking. One getting ridiculously wet even though I tried to help. Not an exorcist. Not a Noah. Just two people and nothing more."

"You mean a temporary truce."

Road slapped a hand to her face. "Why didn't I think of that word Allen? Yeah that's exactly what I am talking about. You made it so much simplier. The truce ends when we part ways."

Allen was hesitent to believe this even though the Noah had held true to their words before when they were in the ark. No harm had come to anyone during the meal and conversation between Allen, Road, and Tyki and the other exorcists. Although harm did come **after** the meal was finished but still the noah had held their promise.

"Again how can I trust you?"

"Like I said Allen. You can't. You'll just have to take me at my word."

However something told Allen her words rang true. It was a feeling, a vibe, an aura. Something told him she was honest and sincere. Perhaps it was all the evidence gathering up in his head. How she could have killed him. Noah's past honesty. The look of sincereity he saw in her eyes. And this feeling that well it was alright.

Perhaps Allen's depressed state contributed to his decision but he let down his guard. "Alright Road. We can talk." he said somberly.

A small moment passed between the two as the rain fell about them. Then Road began to step towards him which instantly put Allen on the defensive again. "Stop right there Road!"

"Allen you are soaking wet and standing in the rain." She continued to close the distance beween them.

The white haired exorcist invoked his innocence. The white clawed left hand of his "Crown Clown" activating and at the ready to slash Road to ribbons should she come to close.

Despite this she was unphased by it and her steps continued.

"I mean it Road stop or else!" Still she continued she was nearly next to Allen now.

Tension, fear, and adrenaline shot though Allen's body and he shaked a bit. "Not another step Road!"

Ms. Kamelot took that last step and was standing right in front of the exorcist who wore a shocked expression and stopped the slight shaking as his heartbeat relaxed back to normal and the adrenaline stopped.

She held her umbella over the both of them looking up at him without that glint of malevolence in her eye, just sincereity and empathy....and something else.

"I"m just getting you out of the rain Allen-kun."

Allen's surprise was evident, "Road....wh...why didn't you listen to me? I could have hit you."

As the rain fell all around about them, seemingly mirroring how Allen's entire world was crashing around him as well, Road answered. "Because I trust you Allen." She gave him a light smile.

Allen was at a loss for words upon hearing this.

"besides it probably wouldn't have killed me." she said

"oh that's right isn't it?" Allen's head tilted to the side. He felt like an idiot. He had forgotten about that but still. The fact was it **probably **wouldn't have killed her. Yet still she had taken that chance.

She took hold of his hand jolting him at the sudden contact with a person he held so little trust in. "come on" She pulled him back in front of Mana's gravestone.

As they both stood under the umbrella looking at memorial for Allen's dead foster father Road spoke up. "who was he? Your father?"

Allen's head turned slightly so his eyes could look at the person next to him as if trying to confirm what he just heard. "No. Foster father. He took me in when I was young. He.....he meant a great deal to me. It hurt so much when he died. Heh...it was Mana who I foolish tried to bring back to this world as an akuma and he gave me this scar."

Nodding her head, "yeah, I knew about that last part. I didn't know who he was though....it hurts doesn't it. Losing someone precious to you."

Road being empathetic towards another who grieved for someone lost? That was just too weird but it wasn't the strangest thing about her that night so it didn't dwell with Allen for too long.

"Yes....i...it really does. I wanted him back so badly. He was...everything to me. The only person who was a ray of light in a world of darkness for me. I was left in the dark again when he died not knowing what direction to head in."

His heart grew heavier as he spoke of the one he loved, knowing it was probably all a lie. He had been alone all along and the only light in his life was never real. His entire life and being a sham. So alone. So cold.

Road could now see tears starting to form in Allen's eyes. There was no mistaking it with the rain this time. She knew those tears well. Allen continued.

"He...he always told me...'no matter what happens Allen keep walking forward. No matter what happens don't stop walking forward until the day you die.'"

Allen tried to fake a smile as he spoke, tears now falling gently down his scarred face, practically folling the path of the red penticle mark that marred his face.

"I originally didn't get what he meant by that but those words became the thing I lived by because after he died...." He didn't finish, just drifted off into silence but Road realized it then. The mystery of Allen Walker that she had pondered countless times was now becoming clearer and as the pieces became clearer, her heart began to break for the young exorcist if what she thought was true.

"You died that day too didn't you? Inside you had died and had nothing left to live for." Allen's eye's opened wide in surprise of her understanding, looking at the young Kamelot who had seen into his soul so easily....how? "Tha...that's right. When I was allowed the chance to bring him back I took it without a doubt. I was such a fool, I had turned my father into a monster. He was so angry he....I regret what I did to him so much. I was so stupid for trying to bring him back."

Road put a hand on Allen's shoulder, "Allen you weren't a fool for trying to bring him back."

"But!.." Road interuptted him, "Trust me Allen there is nothing more right then wanting to be with those you love when god feels they should be taken from us."

Road had to ask the question which was burning in her soul. "Did you want to kill him Allen?"

"No. I...I didn't know what to do. The innocence activated and before I knew what happened I had...killed him. That's why I decided to become an exorcist, to repent for the sin I had committed by bringing my father back. The suffering I had brought him by turning him into **that!** I see the souls that are trapped as akuma. Oh there suffering is unimaginable. I became an exorcist so no one would suffer like Mana did. No one's soul should. I followed Mana's words and walked my own path that I set for myself...or so I thought."

"you were still dead inside after you killed Mana. What did you live for?"

"For them. For the demons...for the akuma. To free their souls from suffering. Then for those people who became precious to me. This hand for the demons and this for the humans." he lifted his clawed hand then his normal hand to indicate them respectively. "But now..."

Road again displayed an amazing ability to finish his thoughts, "is it because of the 14th?"

and again Allen was jolted at her ability of perception....or mind reading. Whatever it was she read his thoughts like a book but he doubted it was the latter. "How...how did you know about-"

"We know." Road interuptted. "We found out after you were able to save the ark. What did that change Allen?"

Letting out a soft sigh "everything. I had loved Mana and....and I thought he loved me...bu...but when he said he loved me...was he really talking about the 14th? Did he see me at all or did he only see his brother?"

Road whispered quitly with concern "Allen."

"His words...his love meant everything to me. I lived on because of those words and found a purpose. But now those words of his that have kept me alive...kept me moving forward...they're gone. I can't trust them anymore. I thought I was walking my own path that I set for myself but it seems as if I was walking a path set for me by Mana and the 14th."

Road saw how dead Allen looked, his eyes were absent of hope, love, and warmth. She listened attentively to Allen's every word, "Now I find out that my mind is going to be overwritten with that of the 14th's and...and...what reason do I have to keep moving forward for now? I see the end of my path. I see all I have done and nothing I did mattered at all. All I have done, all the effort and suffering to walk down a path I thought I was paving for myself was pointless."

At this point tears were steaming down his face. He truly looked lost and alone. Allen's eyes widened as yet another surprise as Road's arms had found their way around him in a hug._ Road!...th..this is Road?_ She was comforting him in his darkest moment. This young girl who was his enemy. Who had killed so many people and reviled in the suffering of others was...comforting him? "Road!"

Her eyes were closed as she held him close to her, her head on his shoulder. "Allen I know the pain you are feeling. I know how bad it hurts, how wrong this world feels and you just want to lay down and let yourself forget and disappear. I am so sorry." This had answered many of her questions about Allen. About how he could be so kind, so caring, to his enemies and to the akuma. His motivation and what drove him. The mystery of Allen Walker was slowly becoming much clearer to Road. Yet the answers she had gained had brought her to care even more for the young exorcist. She now knew why she couldn't get him out of her mind. What made him different from the other humans. He was just like them! He was just like her!

"Allen," she whispered softly into his ear elicting a feeling within him that Allen couldn't identify, "you and I are very alike believe it or not. You know our pain and feelings better than anyone else. No wonder you are different from the other humans. You are more like us than you know."

"More like who?" was Allen gentle and curious response

"Like the Noah. The 14th within you has already started to awaken hasn't he? Have you started to see some of his memories? You should know that all Noah carry the memories of all their spiritual ancesteors all the way back to Noah himself. I have memories of all the past Noah of dreams. Have you begun to see past memories the 14th had?"

Allen's mouth hung open as he tried to remember. "I...I see things...things I don't understand. People...crying...blood...happiness. The memories I have don't make any sense. They are tattered and broken."

Rubbing his back as she pulled her head away slowly so she could look him in the face as she spoke. "They don't make sense yet but they will become clearer as more memories are unlocked. Hopefully it will become clear before the 14th completely overwrites your mind. I would like you to see what I see.

"What?" was all Allen could muster. What did she mean?

"Allen you once asked why the Noah help the Millenium Earl. Why would humans want to destory their own world. We do have a reason. Have you ever wondered what the akuma are? Why they evolve? Why the Earl wants to destory this world? And why we call you exorcists the apostles of a fake god?"

"What are you talking about Road"

"Allen...what you feel right now...that is why we Noah help the Milenium Earl to destroy this wretched cruel world that god has turned a blind eye to. We too have felt your pain...the absence of a god who claimed to love us."

Allen could only shake his head in confusion "I don't understand what you mean Road?"

"The way you feel right now Allen, how do you feel about the world around you? You said that Mana was the only source of light in a world filled with darkness and now you aren't even sure if there was any light to begin with. How do you feel about a world that is so cruel and miserable? That could make you feel such suffering and misery. Such emptiness. A world where your loved ones are taken from you and you are left alone and in pain, like a piece of you soul has died. You can see the suffering of the souls of akuma but can you see the suffering of the souls of the living? People are suffering merely by exisiting in this world god has created. I am certain Allen that if you could see the souls of the living...they would be in just as much pain as those of the akuma. That is why the akuma are suffering...they were freed from this dark and twisted world when they died. But now they have been brought back and they hate it after having known a kind of blissful peace of nonexistence. That is why we Noah follow the Earl. We know better than any human could how wretched and broken this world that god has abandoned is."

Allen was speechless. All that Road has said he couldn't deny. He felt it too, no matter how much he wanted to deny it a large piece of his heart agreed. After all he had seen how could god leave it up to exorcists to save themselves from the akuma. Why had god allowed the Akuma to come to be in the first place? Why had god brought death to exist? Why? Why? Why?

Everything in this world felt so wrong, empty, and cold. Allen felt such truth and peace with Road's logic and it disturbed him emensely, it went against everything he had fought so hard for. Yet his futile efforts were part his sorrow and a factor in what was wrong with this world. His struggle hadn't mattered. Now he and it would soon be erased by the 14th.

Touching his cheek and running her finger over his scar, "Allen...I know you may not believe me when I say this but...I admire you for wanting to save people...for trying so hard to save them. I have lost that kindness that you still have...I know you want to save people and their souls but...do you hate this world that is so cold and cruel? That could let such sorrow and suffering exist only for you to take it upon your self to try and fix things in an attempt that you now see as futile?...Do you hate it...this world? Not the people...but this way of existence?"

It was a long time before any sound was heard other than the falling of the rain around the two. Everything seemed to freeze around Allen and become irrelevent for at this moment he realized the answer to Road's question and it shocked and frightened him. "Yes...I hate this world"

Road put her full palm against his cheek in a comforting manner, "It's surprising when you first admit it to yourself isn't it Allen-kun? You want to save people but this world is beyond salvation. That's why we Noah help the Earl. Like I said before it should become clearer when you recover more of the Noah's memories."

For a few minutes neither spoke. Road just analyzed his eyes trying to figure out what Allen was thinking while Allen was puzzling over these revelations he had found about himself, about the news Road had divulged. He eventually realized how close they were and her hand was softly holding his cheek. This brought him out of his daze and he was uncomfortable with how close she was and turned to the side to look back at the grave of Mana.

"I need to be going now Allen. I hope you feel better but...knowing what I do well...I wish you the best. Sorry but next we meet it won't be on friendly terms like this. But don't worry, you know me. I'll give you the same warm, friendly treatment I always do. I just can't guarantee there won't be blood involved" She said with that sadistic smile that Allen had not seen this entire night and just as quickly it was gone.

In a swift motion she stole a kiss from his lips as she had done before when they were in the ark. Yet this time it wasn't the same. It wasn't as passionate rather more chaste and filled with longing and remorse. There was no joy or ecstatic energy as there had been before when she crashed her lips against his. Rather it was as if she was gently taking it all in one last time and savoring it, sadly as if this taste would soon disappear forever.

Before Allen could react it was over and she slowly stepped away towards a door she had materialized out of nowhere.

Allen had to at least know why that kiss was so...different? Amongst all the strange changes that had appeared in her he had to at least know that.

"Road." She turned and met his questioning gaze. "Wha....What was that just now? That wasn't like...before....What's happened to you? You are so different."

At that she smiled a soft and genuine smile that he had only seen upon her face this night. It was not the smile of a child...nor a Noah....rather that of a young woman with inner turmoil bubbling beneath the surface and amusement with his question.

"That kiss was different because...I wanted to kiss you one last time...before you are....erased and replaced with the 14th."

It was a goodbye kiss!!? She realized just how severe things were. In all reality he was soon going to die in all sense of the word and someone else would be walking around in his body. It touched him slightly that she could feel something for him other then a girlish crush of a youngster.

"And for the other question. Well I am different because...there are more sides to me than you have seen. Same with Tyki, the Earl, and even what we are doing with the akuma. Speaking of which. The akuma were not made to be weapons Allen. That's all I can tell you. They were not made to be weapons."

With that Road turned towards the gateway before her and stepped through it. The gate disappeared and Allen was left alone amongst the dead of the graveyard to contemplate all the new thoughts that now ran through his head. He noticed that he held an umbrella now. _How!!?....Road's umbrella!! She...?_ Road had left her umbella with Allen. Whether by accident or intentional to keep Allen out of the elements was unknown. But Allen had a good guess and he felt guilty.

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**There you go. I hope some fans liked it. I plan on continuing this and answering some questions that this chapter brought up but ONLY IF I GET SOME REVIEWS. So please review or babies will be eaten....or is it beaten??? Whatever point is reviews are needed or babies will suffer. Before anyone even tries to point it out, yes this is basically me threatening you for reviews and no I am not serious. **

**Wolf in Moonlight.**


	2. Sometimes you need to take a nap

**Hey all. Well I only got four reviews for my first chapter but I will continue the story because those four were kind enough to leave behind their thoughts and honestly, despite it only being four, those four reviews really made my day. I want to publicly thank you: coolgirl200, Junoan, Book Thief101, dark-Yuuki-sama. Your reviews meant the world for me and I would greatly like to see your opinions on the updates to my story. **

**Hope you guys enjoy the newest chapter ~Wolf**

Disclaimer: I don't own D Gray-Man

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Allen walked through the stone halls of the order, his shoes echoing with a 'tap tap tap'. He had just returned from his visit to his departed foster father Mana _and_ an unexpected conversation with the last person he thought he would be able to be civil with. Allen still held the umbrella that Road had left in his possesson. He was dripping wet because after Road had left him with it...well it just didn't seem right to use it. He felt less guilt and shame if he didn't. For what reason he supposed it was his concern for a fellow human being. _A fellow human being...I actually think of the Noah as human don't I? I think of Road like that._

Allen made his way somberly to his room for the night, water dripping from his coat and hair. He was trapped by his own thoughts. Allen only wished to retire to his room but fate didn't like that idea. Lenalee broke Allen out of his inner thoughts. "Allen why are you soaking wet?"

"Oh, hello Lenalee." Allen put on his fake smile trying to reassume the mask he wore that said 'everything is fine'. It was harder now though. "I went out and just got back now."

"Well where did you get that umbrella and still if you have one why are you drenched? Are you sure you are okay Allen?"

"Oh!!....uh well I was caught in the rain and someone offered me her umbrella since she didn't need it. And I am fine Linalee, really." He smiled at her. That smile only he could give no matter how bad things got that just reassured her in a way only he could.

"Well that was awfully nice of her. What a kind gesture, giving you her umbrella in your time of need. She might not get it back yet still she gave it to you out of the kindness of her heart."

Linalee still had a look of concern but it had diminished somewhat after Allen's smile. But the smile hid the troubling thoughts Linalee's words had brought to Allen's mind. _Yes. Kindness...someone helping out a fellow human being in their time of need. To care and help each other. Such a thing is so good and worthy of praise...that's the problem. It's unusal for people to be selfless and help each other. In a world where doing what is right is worthy of praise, even such a small thing as helping someone out of the rain, that speaks volumes of how uncommon that is. It such be natural that we help one another out and yet...it's not...it's praiseworthy BECAUSE it's uncommon. That's not how things should be._

"Yes, she was a very kind girl. I hope to be able to return the favor someday if I should meet her again.

Nodding her head, "That would be the right thing to do Allen, and I wouldn't expect anything less from you."

_The right thing to do? It should be expected from everyone...not just me. The things I do...they shouldn't be special or unusual but commonplace. Yet it's not...that's the problem. _"I'm sorry I couldn't be here for dinner."

"Oh it's alright. I am sure you'd like to go down to the Cafeteria and see what you can get Jerry to make you."

"Actually I am rather tired I would prefer if I could just sleep if that's alright?"

"OH!!? Um...sure of course Allen." Lenalee stepped slightly to the side as Allen passed her smiling once again as he passed her. _Allen doesn't want to get food!!?? That's not like him. I mean this is Allen! He can put away an entire buffet. _She watched Allen's back as walked down the hall and turned a courner. The smile Allen had given her put her fears aside but in the pit of her stomach she felt something was wrong. _But I trust Allen and if he doesn't want to talk to me then...I have no right to pry. I'll I can do is be here for him when he is ready to talk._

Allen hadn't gone far before he was bombared by laughter, killer intent, and murderious threats. Which were soon followed by the visual of Kanda branshing his sword, Mugen, like a madman and chasing Timothy. Before Allen could figure out what was going on he found himself in the middle of the situation.

Timothy had easily outrun Kanda and took refuge behind Allen. After all he was used to being chased when he had stayed at the ophanage and he was used to being chased.

Kanda stopped before Allen glaring at the boy with a fire in his eye and everything about him screamed 'KILL!' The samurai exorcist then turned his attention to Allen who stood between him and his prey. "OUT OF THE WAY BEANSPROUT! THE CRYBABY MUST DIE!"

Allen didn't move out of the way, instead he sighed then smiled. "What's the matter Kanda? What did Timothy do now?"

"THE SAME DAMN THING AND YOU KNOW IT! He used that power of his to possess me and make me....JUST MOVE DAMMIT!"

Timothy smirked at Kanda from behind Allen, "Don't be mad at me because you like to dress like a lady. Everyone thought you looked pretty with your makeup and smeared lipstick."

"THAT IS NOT WHAT HAPPENED AND YOU KNOW IT CRYBABY!" Kanda took a swing at where Timothy's head had been sticking out from behind Allen but missed.

"That boy used my body and made me look like an idiot....AGAIN!!!" Allen guessed what had happened. Since he had come to the order Timothy had taken an instant disliking to Kanda since he was....well.....kanda! Timothy took note that Allen wasn't particularly fond of him either and so took it upon himself to put the "uptight jerk" in his place. How? By abusing his powers as an exorcist to take over Kanda's body and make him do rediculous very _un-_kanda like things. Last week he had strut through the order in kanda's body while he wore a diaper. Probably to get back at him for giving him the name "Crybaby." It was ironic really and a prankster should be proud of that. And that was only one instance but there were others. Kanda knew it was Timothy's doing but he couldn't prove it! Everyone just pretended it wasn't Timothy's doing but everyone knew and that pissed Kanda off even more.

Allen smiled and asked Timothy politely, "did you possess Kanda's body and make him wear a dress?"

Timothy gave an innocent look "No! Of course not! I wouldn't do that kind of thing anymore!"

Allen knew it was a lie but it was all he needed to end this. "See Kanda, Timothy says he didn't do it. How can you be sure he did?"

Kanda made this real simple. "Beansprout move now or will kill you to get to him."

Allen put on a mock expression surprise. "Why Kanda I'm shocked that you would threaten not only a helpless child but me as well all without anything to support your behavior."

Kanda wasn't really going to kill Timothy but if he had to fight Allen to get to him then someone might really get hurt and Kanda was not that uncaring. Sheathing Mugan he turned and gave Timothy a dirty look and a "tch" and briskly walked off.

Timothy immediately thanked Allen for the help. Allen had to find out more about this though. "Now really? Did you do it?"

"No of course not! I mean come on he's a tranny just look at him. He even had katchup in his panties. He looked like he was on his time of the month thingy. He obviously wears that stuff all the time but...the katchup ...I don't know he's a freak."

Allen laughed heartily and then gave a deceptively calm smile. "Timothy, how did you know that Kanda was wearing _ladies_ _underwear _and how did you know he had _katchup _in them?"

"Uh...uh...well....you're not gonna tell him are you?"

"Of course not but if you are going to do it don't let me know. And definitely don't hide behind me to escape."

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Allen followed the direction Kanda had stormed off to. He felt that Kanda would surprisingly be the best person to talk to in regards to the personal dillemma he was facing. But it being Kanda he couldn't be open about it.

"Kanda...could I have a moment of your time?"

"What is it beansprout?"

"I was wondering why you are always so cold to everyone. You aren't warm, friendly, or kind at all. I was wondering why?"

"tch...when you have something actually important to talk about then come get me." Kanda started to leave but the shoulder of his coat was grabbed by Allen. "It's important to me Kanda! Please...right now...right now I need to know why?"

Kanda raised his arm and threw Allen's hand off his shoulder, turned and gave him a death glare. "It's none of your damn business!!"

Allen stood there as Kanda shouted. "I just need to know. I promise I won't tell anyone but...it's important for me to know why. More then you could know. Why you treat your friends with such disdain. Why you have no kindess or love for anyone. Please"

The two stood there one with fury on his face and one with a pleading calm look. Kanda finally spoke "I don't trust you. And besides like I said it's none of your damn business. Next time you try and grab me lik that you'll lose that hand beansprout." Kanda walked away and this time he was not stopped.

Allen remain where he stood, thinking, putting the pieces together to try and put this empty feeling, this moral dillemma to rest. _Kanda is a perfect example of how uncaring this world is. If I knew why he was ...maybe things would be clearer. Kanda lacks kindness, warmth, and love of any kind. He is an example of how bad this world is. How cruel it allows us to be to one another. The worst part is...he didn't trust me...The fact is people can't trust one another. An existence where you are unable to trust someone let alone a companion. We don't trust one another because we can do such horrible things to one another. In such a world where we not only fear it happening, it actually does happen. What kind of sick existence is this._

Allen needed to make one more stop before he retired for the night. He asked around for the location of Lavi was directed to the Black Order's rather extensive library. There he found Lavi studying a history book but as it turned out there was another book hidden behind that one. Let's just say it was much less tasteful and Lavi's dear "gramps" would have disapproved him reading it with a swift kick to the head. "Of course that's why I'm hiding it behind this other book." Lavi stated indicating the history tome.

"So Allen did you hear about what Timothy did to Kanda?"

"Oh yeah, actually I did...but I wanted to talk to you about something else if that's okay?"

The grin Lavi had been wearing while mentioning Kanda's humilation disappeared at that point. Allen's smile didn't fool the bookman apprentice. He had heard of the 14th taking overwriting Allen's mind and was able to see past Allen's happy guise. "What's the matter Allen?"

"Oh I am just feeling a little down is all. But I do have something important to talk to you about. Lavi, as a bookman what do you know about the akuma?"

Lavi looked a little lost for a moment, "What do you mean?"

"I mean beyond the basic facts we already know about them. Like how the akuma are made. What kind of machine can trap human souls? Who originally designed them? The Millenium Earl? Why do they evolve if they are machines? I mean all we know is they are weapons that use human souls but what else do we know?"

"Allen what brought this on? Why are you coming to me at this time of night asking about something like this?"

"I am just thinking that we don't really know anything about them. The fact we are fighting a war against a foe we don't know anything about, it bothers me. I mean we always figured they were built to be weapons but....what if they weren't initially designed for that?"

Lavi was at a bit of a loss for a moment. Not sure how to respond to this out of the blue. "Allen you already know everything the order and I as a bookman know about the akuma and about this war. But what do you mean 'what if they weren't initially designed to be weapons'. If not that then what were they designed for?"

Allen was struggling to keep his guise up, to protect anyone from seeing how lost he was. How empty and hollow he felt. But it was harder than ever to keep his mask from cracking at that moment. Perhaps it was because he had been doing it for too long. Or maybe he simply had lost the last reason he had to keep lying to others, letting them everything was fine. That he was fine. "I don't know Lavi..."

Allen felt like he would break down in a moment and Lavi would be able to see how bad he was hurting but Lavi said something that broke his train of thought and diverted his attention. "Allen what gave you the idea that the akuma might not be weapons?...Is... (sigh)....is this about the 14th?" Lavi knew he was going to regret this but his friend seemed to need a guiding hand at the moment

"What!!" Allen was completely shocked. "La...Lavi how did you know-"

"-About the 14th? Gramps and I as bookmen were permitted to overhear your conversation with general Cross. And before you say anything I'd like you to know I didn't want to pry into my friend's personal affiars but my duty as a bookman requires me to record history as accurately as possible and that means knowing all the possible facts. I am sorry Allen."

Allen could tell his friend was sincere. That wasn't what was bothering him right now. "Does anyone else know....did you tell anyone?"

"No, I wouldn't do that. And I am not allowed to divulge who else was privy to this info but I can tell you that none of your friends know about it since I am sure that's what concerns you the most."

"Thank you Lavi, you know me well." Giving Lavi a sad but heartfelt smile that wasn't fake. "Lavi all that doesn't matter. I ask you this question because well...I just need to know now. As an exorcist...as a human being. I need to know what it is I fight for now because if we know so little about this war...how do we know we are on the right side?"

Allen's words had jolted Lavi, "Allen....between you and me...this doesn't leave this room kay?"

Allen nodded his head in silent confirmation.

"That is very precise and astute of you Allen. It's true, I won't lie to you like other members would in the order. But as a bookman and your friend I will tell you the complete and unbiased truth I know about this war as it is my duty to know all aspects I can on it. The simple fact is The order condemns the Earl and those who follow him for murdering innocent people and trapping souls here on earth. The specifics other then that are unknown. We know he wants this world destoryed specifically humanity. Other than that his motives aren't clear. No other information is available and trust me, Gramps and I do everythign possible to record history accurately and we can't find anything on this.

To put it simply as a bookman, this war is one without a reason why. We are simply protecting people from being killed and freeing the souls of those who are now trapped here on earth as Akuma. Not knowing the motives behind an enemy waging a war isn't really a war at all. On our part this is a war simply for survival and done on forced ignorance."

Allen let the question that burned within him slip from his tongue. "But......we are fighting against someone whose cause is unknown then...how do we know our side is the right one?"

Lavi desperately wanted to lie to Allen at this moment. To tell him anything but what he felt was the truth. But as his friend Lavi was determined to be honest with him and as a bookman that meant to be unbiased as well. "Allen we don't!! The war against the Earl, why people believe in following the order is simple logic. That killing people and perpetuating the suffering of dead souls by binding them to this mortal earth is wrong. That basic murder of humans is wrong. That alone is enough to convince most that The Black Order is the right side in this war. Isn't it enough for you?"

Allen couldn't meet Lavi's questioning gaze. "It used to be enough...but now...I am not so sure. What about you Lavi? Is it enough for you to believe the Black Order is the correct side?"

"I can't allow my personal feelings to interfere with my recording of history, you know that!"

"Then as a person Lavi. Tell me is knowing that enough to convince you that we are without doubt on the right side?"

"A...Allen....I....I can't honestly answer that."

"Yeah." Allen rose from his seat but before walking away, "Thank you Lavi for being honest with me. To speak sincerely like that...I appreciate it. It's why I value you as a friend and respect you. Goodnight Lavi."

All Bookman Jr. let the white haired exorcist go. It was all he could do. He trusted Allen and felt he deserved the truth for all he had suffered through. But despite believing what he had done was right Lavi couldn't help but worry about him. The things he had said would be considered treasonous by anyone else. But Lavi trusted Allen with his life. _He'll be okay....well at least I can be honest to him because I am lying to myself now. _One way or another Lavi knew that Allen was going to die soon.

The young Walker wished That Krory had recovered from his battle with Jasdebi but he had still had yet to awaken. It seemed as if Krory would never wake up and right now there was no one Allen wanted to speak to about the Akuma more then Krory. _What do you think about the Akuma Krory...you were in love with one._

Opening the wooden door to his room and stepping across the threshold he closed it behind him. Placing the umbrella he still held down gently by the door before sitting on his bed. _I'll have to return that good deed somehow...as well as the umbrella_.

It was a while Allen sat there not noticing time slipping by until he felt a horrible pang of pain like a headache. It grew in intensity rapidly and it instantly became a debilitation pain. He laid back on his bed gripping his head trying in vain to soothe the physical pain which shot through him but being unable to. The images which passed before his eyes were so intense

_(laughter)....(joy)....I love you so much_

Flash

(tears)....(grief) Why I miss him so much

Flash

If only I could see him again...I feel the same...

Flash

WHY! WHY!! You took her from me AGAIN!!! Why God??? Why do you hate us so? What have we done to deserve this

Flash

Never forget...never forgive....exorcists...innoncence

Flash

God let's us love but takes it away....he wants us to suffer

Flash

Hey Mana. I know you are feeling lonely without me being around as much so I got you a puppy. (laughter) Well technicially I wasn't the one who got it but you know what I mean.

"AHHHHHHH STOP MAKE IT STOP....NO NO AHHH" Allen screamed, unaware of his surrounds any longer. All he was conscious of was the horrible searing pain that racked his mind and body as images, memories, and feelings he couldn't understand passed before his eyes. People laughing together, happy. In love. Crying and despair. A frustration and an intense hatred against innoncence? Sorrow, anger, love, remorse, hopelessness...and blood oh yes so much blood. All these things Allen felt and saw. Seeing through eyes which were not his. Seeing memories which were not his.

When the pain receeded Allen had no idea how long he had been screaming or suffering. To him it felt like hours. Yet when seekers came the next moment to ask what all the screaming was about, Allen learned no more then five minutes could have passed. He asked to be left alone telling them he was fine, using his sway as an exorcist and their superior to have them submit to his request.

These memories didn't make any sense. They were jumbled and confusing. "Mana...was that Mana I saw?" Allen was certain it was.

As Allen lay there he looked at the umbrella which lay next to the door. These unexplainable feelings made him want to return the favor that Road had done, despite how small it may be. He wanted to at least return the umbrella to her but knew it would probably never happen. All this he thought as he drifted into sleep. Unknowningly while he slept these feelings and the unconscious desire to speak to the one who had been able to grant him temporary inner peace, Road, were sent out. Surprisingly someone was able to pick up these feelings. As Allen slept her began to dream and it wasn't like his usual dreams...someone called out his name...someone he knew...

"Hello Allen-kun"

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**Like before please REVIEW. The more reviews I get the faster the story will get updated. Oh and I threatened before that babies would be harmed either through physical beatings or by ingestion. Well since I only got four review normally that is not enough to spare them but I the heartfelt reviews were sincere so they have been spared....But now I have to threaten people with something else (pulls out a box full of cute kittens and puppies) This was in Road's room and well....I can guess what she was gonna do with them because I am gonna do it myself if I don't get reviews. Namely I will break their cute little necks with my bare hands one by one unless reviews are given. If reviews are given then they will be saved and a cult shall be formed which will give blood sacrifices in their honor. They shall be bathed in the blood of foolish heathens who dare challenge their godly cute powers. Any and all earthly desires shall be brought before them and any obstacles to this shall be destroyed with the vengence of a hobo who had his booze stolen from him and replaced with foul urine. Do you want cute wittle Whiskers to suffer (holds out cute kitty *meow)? Or do you want her to be happy? If so you know what you gotta do. REVIEW (I am only joking so please do not take this seriously. Except about me wanting reviews. That part I really do want)**


	3. Things Become Clearer When You Sleep

**I am sorry about the delay on the update to the story. I haven't been able to login to for the past three days or so. Not sure if it was just me or the site was having some trouble and it happened to everybody. Anyway I am hopping right back on to continue. I am very happy that those who reviewed before returned to give me more feedback on the update to my story. You guys rock! I thank you. It might only be like six people who are reviewing but still those of you who are rock hard and I will continue to update my story as long as I get reviews from you guys. Though there may not be as many people reviewing as I would have hoped I am still very happy with those who enjoy the story and took the time to give me their thoughts or praise. Because of you guys I will continue the story as long as I keep getting your feedback. I hope in the future that this story will gain more support and I will work hard to make that so and to maintain/improve the quality that you enjoy. **

**Okay on another note the reviews I received were normally not enough to save the cute puppies and kitties but despite this they have managed to establish that cult that I mentioned before. Don't ask me how just know that those cute little faces are deceptive.**

**Whiskers: "meow!" **

**What!...no...no lord whiskers....I wasn't questioning your ability to lead the cult**

**Whiskers: "meow" (paws a ball of yarn. Tilts her head and looks at me)**

**No! Please...I'm sorry I didn't update faster...it...it wasn't. What!? uh...no I can't take you to the pussy cat club...it's uh not what you think it is**

**Whiskers: *Glares**

**Yes lord whiskers I'll do what I can.**

**How'd I go from about to break little whiskers neck to submitting to her rule as blood cult leader *sigh. Well if I wanna live looks like I gotta penetrate the pussy cat club (poor choice of words...but funny *sigh).**

**~Wolf **

Disclaimer: I don't own D Gray-Man.

**P.S. These two songs go well with this chapter of the story as well as the past two. I highly recommend listening to them. You can find them on youtube. "Missing by Evanescence" and "In The End (The piano version) by Linkin Park. **

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Darkness. The complete absence of any light. Slowly that gave way to something coming out of the shadows. Slowly things began to sharpen and sight gradually returned along with it the growing awareness of his surroundings. He had been here before. Trees, lying on the outskirts of a pond. A dark sky hung above yet there was no light except for a grim and menacing moon that seemed to grin with wicked glee at Allen. It was eerily quiet, not a sound amidst the forest. No life whatsoever stirred.

Yes, Allen remembered this place. Indeed he had been here before. Walking over to the edge of the pond, only the sound of his foot steps crushing the earth beneath his feet audiable all else deafly quiet. Looking down upon his reflection in the water he expected the worst as had happened last time. He saw himself there.

That cursed eye of his marring his features. The red eye that he felt made him even more freakish. Covering his eye in shame the water slowly changed as Allen was expecting. That shadow that looked back at him from every reflection in his waking life. Always smiling. That unsettling grin that made Allen's skin crawl. That constantly reminded him his time was drawing close to it's end. That shadow gradually shifted in the reflection of the water until it looked exactly as it had the last time he had stared into the murky depths of this pond. It was now him but an odd distortion of himself like a cartoonish version of himself. Those black eyes which were no longer his own. Still smiling wickedly.

Allen knew what would happen if he reached out as he had last time. Yet he couldn't help himself. He felt like he had resigned himself to his fate _let's just get it over with. I don't want...this.....anymore._ As expected a hand shot out of the pond grabbing his own. The mirror version of himself holding him. He was not surprised. He waited for the arm to pull him down into the dark waters where he would be no more. An end to thoughts, feelings, everything. A malignant kind of peace that Allen found alluring at the moment. The mirror Allen with that grin pulled his arm down towards the water.

Yet it only brought Allen's hand into the water and then made Allen's arm perform a swirling circling motion. As this happened the ripples of Allen's hand disturbing the pond radiated outward and the reflection of the pond changed.

The mirror Allen was still there but further into the pond Allen saw a younger Krory. All alone in his dark castle that was no more. Completely alone as he had always been. Never knowing a real friend. Never knowing the outside world or the acceptance of another person.

Allen's reflection moved Allen's hand in yet another swirling motion and the image changed yet again. He saw Krory with Eliade. He was shaking with fright, huddling over by the far wall. His mouth and hands covered in blood. The fear in his eyes was evident but they were not for himself but for the other one who resided in the room. Eliade slowly approached A trembling Krory who begged her to keep away. "I'm a monster!! An abomination of god. Please stay away. I...I...don't want to hurt you....but I don't know what will happen....please Eliade. I can't help meself. Run from me while you can."

Her steps paused but she then continued forward. She knelt down next to him and put her arms around his trembling form. "You are a vampire, that can't be helped." Krory felt the tears grow stronger in his eyes upon hearing that. The warmth and hope in his heart was extinguished upon hearing that from the only person in the world who mattered to him. The only person he ever had besides his grandfather "But you are not a monster Arystar-sama nor are you an abomination of god. You are the most kind and gentle man I have ever known."

Krory stiffened at the contact. He could sense her blood pumping through her neck. He could hear her heartbeat. He felt the warmth that her body gave off, the warmth that the precious life giving fluid gave her. He wanted to taste that warmth. He wanted to drink it all in, every drop of it. He wanted it inside him. It was so close.

He started breathing heavier staring at her neck as she held him close to her. His desire to pierce her neck and drink deep of her was so overpowering. He slowly brought his mouth close to her neck . He could smell that sweet perfume that reminded him of the woman he loved. He brought his fangs to bear and.... _No!!...I can't....I can't hurt Eliade...not her! _He held himself back. He was shaking so hard, his fangs still poised close to her neck to break the skin. Still she did not open her eyes or shake sensing him there like that. He pulled himself back, suppressing the desire within himself trying to kill it.

"Eliade please...I beg of you run from me now. I...I feel m..myself....losing control....PLEASE I don't want to hurt you Eliade! I lo..love you."

Despite hearing all this Eliade showed no signs of fear. Her eyes were still closed as she leaned her body softly against him. Instead she seemed to hug him tighter. "I trust you Arystar-sama. I know you would not hurt me. I trust you with my life."

"But I am afraid of wh-"

"I am willing to put my life at risk...to put it in your hands just to be with you...forever. I love you Arystar Krory"

Krory, with tears in his eyes, lifted his arms and weakly put them around Eliade.

"It's okay Arystar-sama. You can cry freely. I won't think any less of you for it."

Krory put his head next her neck and let loose his tears.

The mirror Allen again turned Allen's hand in the water of the pond creating more ripples which flowed and altered the scene again.

Now the image presented was the last time Krory and Eliade were ever together. Krory was lying on the ground like a husk of skin without bones. His body completely devoid of water. Eliade looked down with an air of regret and loss. The husk came to life and lept at her surprising her. It drained her of all her blood leaving her helpless and restoring the life of Krory. The act had been done without Krory taking any part of it. The innocence had acted for him.

Krory looked at Eliade who he now cradled in his arms weakened and dying. Tears in his ferocious eyes yet eyes that were still so kind despite their yellow glow. In a weak voice she spoke softly, "I really wanted to....love...you....."

With that she was gone. Her body turned to dust. Krory was left with the sorrow of having killed the one he loved. The one who had loved him back.

Again the water was swirled and again the scene shifted but to one that was not so different.

Krory was grieving just as heavily as before but now he was in the Black order in his room. Much time had passed since Eliade's death. Crying heavily, "I ....I am so sorry....Eliade....I loved you....so much....even ....even if you were an akuma.....I don't care....I loved you....and...and I still do. Why...why couldn't we be together?

As Krory cried his last words before the scene shifted was "I don't even have anything to remember you by. There's nothing left of you."

Again the scene changes. Allen recognized this place well. It was inside the ark when Krory was fighting Jasdebi. But Allen couldn't believe his eyes. Krory....Krory was...dead! Pierced inside a sarcophagus with nails lining the inside. His one arm hanging out.

He was truly dead. Yet Allen was shown something that no one other than Krory could see. Whether it was real or an illusion Allen didn't know.

There stood Eliade however impossible that might be. "What are you doing in that thing Alistar? What ever you do you really are good for nothing."

"Who...who is there?....That voice...bu..but it cannot be....El...Eliade?"

"Haven't you become an exorcist to have an reason...no...to have an excuse for killing me? Even so why do you fight to protect these kids so tirelessly to the brink of your own death? Really however old you grow you never finish a job."

"Ha"

"What are you laughing about?"

"Have....you come to...take me?"

At this Eliade slowly reached out her hand and gently touched Krory's. How Allen could feel that touch while watching through a pond is unexplainable. He couldn't describe it but he did feel it.

"Don't be stupid," she said. "You think I've come to take you to heaven?....You might go but I can't. I don't have a container like a soul. I am merely a sense of self that was born in an akuma body. If you go you go alone."

"Eliade...."

"You do want to go with those kids don't you? These kids were the first humans to see you as a comrade. If you go to heaven now you'll be all alone again. Having protected only yourself your whole life. You must have wanted to protect somebody else......Darling...please go with those kids....Go with them to hell...and come back."

With that she was gone leaving only a rose in Krory's hand.

"Eliade...I love you...I really do...even if you are not real...thank you."

With that Krory found the strength to fight on and break free from both the sarcophagus and his physical body.

The ripples in the pond switched again. Now There was a person he had never met before....no not a person. An akuma. Chomesuke he saw Lavi calling her. An akuma helping his friends. Sacrificing itself for his friends. So many times she put her life on the line to protect his friends right up until the end. When she sacrificed herself so that they could defeat the giant Akuma. Allen saw tears in her eyes...he know he did. And he saw the pain of loss that the others felt at having lost her.

Now the ripples came again. The shift in visions was occuring faster and more frequently. Lenalee was talking now. About her past. About losing her parents. Being separated from her brother by the Black Order. Being strapped down and forced to suffer such loneliness. She hated god she said. She fought to protect her world. The people who made up her world.

More ripples and now a young Timothy was shown being used by his father, forced to swallow a stolen gem.

Allen saw his master, General Cross.

_Baka apprentice..._

_fetch more wine!!_

_piece of crap apprentice!_

_I'll be right back_

_I'm so sorry Allen_. This was the last time he saw Cross. He was giving him a hug. _The 14th should have chosen some good for nothing kid..._ _Looks like I can't laugh at Tiedoll anymore._

The last image was of Master Cross dead.

Allen looked back at his mirror self in the water. It no longer held that wicked smile instead it had a sad face filled with sorrow. It surprised Allen then. It released his arm.

The mirror Allen with those black eyes had such a sad face on. Allen had to ask "What was all that you showed me? ....Are....are you sad ....for them.

Allen saw tears run down the face of his mirror image. Then in an act that defied all gravity and logic the tears fell from his face and out of the pond, falling upwards and landing on Allen's face.

"Allen-kun?"

Allen turned and saw Road standing there. She was wearing her usual tomboyish outfit and that usual mischievous, playful grin. "What are you doing Allen?"

"R..Road! What do you mean? A..are you real?"

"Of course I'm real! What don't you dream about me normally? I dream about you"

Allen began to get a little warm at hearing that and very uncomfortable. "But what are you doing here in my dreams...I mean this is my dream right or...or is this reality."

Road giggled at seeing how uncomfortable Allen had become upon hearing her words but decided not to play with him right now. Instead answering his questions straightforward.

"Yep! It's your dream all right." nodding her head far too enthusiastically while her arms were behind her back in girlish manner as she swayed back on forth on her heels. "and I am definitely real. In your sleep you were sending out such a strong desire to see my. I am flattered Allen-kun. Is it that you can only do certain things to me in your dreams cause you are too embarrassed to do them in real life? I know how all boys are, I am sure you have dirty thoughts in your sleep." She said teasingly as she got closer to him, bending over and looking up so she could meet his gaze which was looking at the ground.

A blush on his face, "it's nothing like that!" He said as he turned his head away from her.

She laughed that girlish playful laugh. She had gotten a reaction out of him. That was more then she usually got and she enjoyed it. She wished it was more but it was much more than she usually got.

She sensed as Allen's mood returned to a somber and serious one. She tried to be serious because it was obvious that is what he needed right now. Her smile dropped and the girl from earlier that night returned. The kind, quiet, understanding Road that Allen still had trouble believing was actually Road. But seeing her in her normal attire with the same seriousness that she had displayed before he was certain it was her.

"What's wrong Allen? Why did you call me here? I know it was just wishful thinking on my part. I was just playing with you."

"I didn't even admit it to myself but I did want to talk to you. I still do. Ever since we talked earlier....it....it's given me so much to think about. So much of what you said.....a..and what I feel....about people....this world.....everything. It was all true and now....I....I am even less sure of what I am doing. Am I doing the right thing Road, being an exorcist."

Allen then received the last answer he ever expected to receive from her. "Your reasons for being an exorcist then yes Allen. You are doing the right thing."

"What!" He couldn't believe his enemy was basically admitting his cause was just. That was condemning her side.

She continued, "it's the right thing to do saving people's souls from suffering. But the way you go about it is wrong. You are only saving the soul's of akuma. What about the rest of the world that is suffering. How are you saving them. Your actions do little to help relieve people from their unhappiness and sorrow. In the end Allen no matter what you do you cannot stop people from suffering. You can't change how malicious and cruel people are to one another. How unfair existence is. In the end you can't change this existence because it is the nature of this existence for people to suffer. For cruety, lies, hurt, violence, despair, futility, grief. The list goes on. No matter what you do you can't change that this is how this world is and it cannot be changed. Your goal to stop souls from suffering is a good one but won't work the way you are doing it."

This upset Allen and he couldn't help but shout at Road now. "Then what would you have me do! How can you cause such suffering and pain. Kill so many people and trap their souls as akuma if you feel that ending suffering is the right thing!"

Road didn't react to his shouting she merely stood there and took the verbal assault. With sadness in her eyes she answered. "Because that is what I am doing."

"What!"

"That's our goal Allen, to end this miserable existence filled with pain, sorrow, suffering, and loss. God who has abandoned this world and left us in the darkness. This isn't the way the world should be and if one can't change the world then they can only end it. That is the only way to stop this suffering. This pointless existence that god has cursed us with. He is no longer there Allen. We are all alone. It may be hard to understand but it will become clearer in time."

Allen didn't know what to think. He had never considered that there was any good intentions behind what the earl and Noah were doing. He wasn't one who believed the end justified the means but in this instance....it seem like it did.

"I....I've been wondering lately if I've been on the wrong side. That I can't know what I am doing is right if I don't know what I am fighting against.....now I find out......"

Allen trailed off after that. Merely shaking his head. Why? Because he saw logic in Road's goal. Nothing matters anymore. There will always be suffering and people suffer as do the akuma. The akuma only more so because they escaped this hell through death.

"What about all the unnecessary suffer you cause Road? How you torture your victims. How you and the others enjoy what you do."

"because enjoying it doesn't matter. Nothing matters. As long as an end to this world comes then they will be at peace. Until then it really doesn't matter. The means don't matter as long as there IS an end to everything. Violence is the only way of lashing out at an unfair world, it makes you feel better Allen really. In a way it's a form of striking back at god who would turn his back on all of us."

Allen broke down crying. Not at what he heard but because he believed so much of it now. It made so much sense and he felt like a horrible person because of it.

"Allen you are starting to wake up so we don't have much time. If you want to talk more meet me tonight at the _Moonlit Eatery_ around 8 pm. It's in town. You know of it right?"

"Yes."

"I give you the same promise I gave you last time we talked. A truce. No harm will come to you during our meeting I swear it."

Allen nodded his head signaling he would come.

She smiled as his dream became hazy "be sure to dress up. It's a nice restaurant."

The haze gave way to darkness and complete silence. Then Allen awoke on his bed to the mourning light filtering through his window. Still in his exorcist clothes from last night. He wondered _was that really Road or just some dream. It felt so real._ The least he could do was at least see if she showed up to confirm if it was real or not.

As Allen pondered her last words, thinking of what was formal enough to wear Allen realized as his eyes caught on the umbrella. _I might be able to return it after all._

XXXXXXXXX

**Okay this was quite a long chapter and I must apologize if some parts are tedious or repetitve. I am trying to real here. Allen isn't going to just fraternize with Road or jump on the "let's kill humanity" bandwagon without some serious philosophical convincing. So sorry if things get slow. I promsie they will pick up from now on.**

**You know the drill. Its that part of the story where I threaten you for reviews and since I am in the pussycat club now I guess I'll threaten these strippers...wait...that won't work...no one cares what happens to them...???or is that hookers???....no it's both. Anyway I'm gonna stick something that goes BOOM in their panties as a tip if I don't get me my reviews. Strippers are people too guys. Hmmm....nope I got a better idea, I'll just destory the pussycat club if I don't get those reviews. I KNOW people care about having a place to see strippers even if they don't care about them. SHAME ON YOU PEOPLE. For shame**


	4. The Morning After

**Hey again faithful readers. It's me Wolf in Moonlight. I haven't been updating as frequently as I would have liked sorry bout that. Well after using Strippers and their base of operations as a hostage to obtain reviews it appears that no one really cares about them at all. How do I know this? Well that's because I fulfilled my threat and BLEW UP THE DAMN STRIP CLUB!! Of Course I kidnapped all the strippers first. Didn't want to kill em. **

"Brown eyes!!! Where you been!"

**(Ignores voice)Again shame on you people. SHAME! Strippers are people too. Naked people....who need your money....after all they have so little clothing to start with anyway.**

"Awww don't ignore us Brown Eyes." (two scantily clad girls appear next to Wolf)

***Sigh Which leads me to this. Apparently after destroying their place of work and source of income many of the ladies were quite upset with me. I have no problem with that well sort of. However it seems that a few seem to find the concept of being kidnapped, tied up, controlled, and then blowing stuff up to be a turn on. These girls have more than just daddy issues it seems. (is slapped hard outside the back of the head by one of said girls. Hits the ground face first)**

"HEY! Don't talk bad about us!! You owe us after all Brown Eyes. What are we supposed to do about money now smart guy."

**(Gets up from the ground rubbing his head) Don't Call Me That!! *Sigh now I have two shadows following me everywhere. Eating me out of house and home. Sucking up my resources, making me look bad and drawing unwanted attention. Normally I'd think having two girls around like this would be cool. I was wrong. Life lesson I just learned.**

"Can We go already Brown Eyes this is boring."

**ARRGGHHH I am trying to explain why my threats didn't work and the situation I am now in. Nobody cares that I blew up that damn club.**

"That probably means that your primary demographic of readers are female. You should probably adjust your threats to something that would affect them."

**.....????!!!!! My God! That is actually extremely observant and intuitive of you. That's really genius. But how come if you two are so smart you were working there?**

"It's high pay for little work."

"Plus you need as much income with as little work as possible to free your time so you can study and pass your college exams. College doesn't pay for itself."

**.....That is true.....I have misjudged you both. I have newfound respect for you. We need to talk. (looks at readers) It seems I might have found some help in my violent quest for reviews. I need to talk with these two so for now enjoy the story. **

**~Wolf**

Disclaimer: I do not own D Gray-Man and I apologize if the above offends anyone. Please don't take it seriously. It's only a joke and is intended to entertain.

XXXXXXXXX

After a brisk shower and taking care of the other hygiene necessities, Allen was now changed into clean exorcist robes. While he had been brushing his teeth the taunting grin of that shadow loomed in the mirror. The shadow of the 14th. Standing their taunting him still. Why did it look so sad in that dream last night? Nothing made sense. Allen wanted to smash the mirror with his fist right there and now. He was so lost and confused, that was how he justified meeting with Road tonight.

The entire morning he had been distracted with the thoughts of what he was going to meet tonight. Doubt and guilt plagued his heart and his soul felt heavy. It was now Lunchtime and Allen was carrying a tray of only half of what he usually ate (this was still a mountain of food). Lenalee and Lavi had moved to sit next to him.

Lavi had discussed relatively little with Lenalee earlier that morning. All he had said to her was that he was concerned about Allen. That was it. He was hoping she would help with whatever was bothering him. Lavi's suspicions seemed to be well founded in both his eyes and Lenalee's after not only last night but the fact Allen hadn't chosen to sit with them. They had to take it upon themselves to make their way over to him. The small amount of food Allen had compared to what he usually ate was another indicator which worried Lavi as much as what Allen had said last night.

After a shared glance between the two that spoke of their shared concern for the white haired exorcist Lenalee was the first to speak. "Allen how are you feeling Today? We didn't see you earlier at breakfast. That's not like you."

"Yeah Allen! Jerry had all your usual favorites already made. He was heartbroken to find you weren't here and not because you were on a mission. He thought you had found another place to eat at. You know. Some other chief to replace Jerry."

Allen had wondered why Jerry was so relieved and happy to see him. Allen had been excited when Jerry had offered double portions then Allen usually received (It's inconceivable how much that is so I won't even get started). Allen however had not been very hungry lately, he had other more concerning matters on his mind and it seemed to have affected his appetite. Thus he had to decline Jerry's offer. Jerry had seemed crushed upon hearing this, like a wife who was desperately trying to convince herself that spouse wasn't cheating despite overwhelming evidence. Allen could have sworn he had seen tears in his eyes but thought that ridiculous. Even now Allen could swear he heard a low sobbing coming from the kitchen.

"I am so sorry all that food had to go to waste. I apologize but I wasn't feeling my usual energy or appetite this morning. It seems to have returned somewhat."

Lenalee pushed the matter slightly. "So there's nothing wrong with you then is there?"

"No, no." Allen waved his hands slightly dismissively. Using his smile to try to put any question to the contrary to rest. "I am sure I am not ill or anything I just am not feeling my usual energy. I assume I am just working to hard is all. I have been under quite a bit of stress lately what with the missions, recruiting Timothy, master dying and all that. My body must just be coming down from all the tension from all that. I'll be fine I assure you. I just need some time to relax." All of this was a lie of course. Just an excuse to cover up the inner conflict and conerns Allen was dealing with. He didn't want to get anyone involved in this. They couldn't really help him. All they would do was worry needlessly. Allen had to keep the lie that he was fine alive. Otherwise it would damage the morale of his friends. They were already suffering as it is with all the recent events. Not to mention Krory still being debilitated and non responsive.

Both Lenalee and Lavi found it worrisome how casually Allen refered to General Cross' death. It was considered a taboo topic that immediately brought Allen down. Yet here he was mentioning it as if it was some everyday thing. He didn't seem to be bothered in the slightest anymore.

"So Allen would you like to do something later with Lavi and me? You said you needed some down time and we haven't had much time together as a group."

Shaking his head apologetically. "Sorry Lenalee but I can't. I have a prior engagement I must attend to. I have to meet someone later tonight so I'm afraid I can't."

Lenalee immediately got on his case. "Allen you are being too polite again! Remember what we talked about before. You need to stop being so formal around us. You are having a relapse."

Lavi however had that smile on his face that Allen knew meant trouble for him. "What kiiiind of engagement Allen hmmm....????"

"Oh well that's personal Lavi. I can't really talk about that."

"Personal huh! Well that sounds an awful lot like your meeting with a girl or something. That kind of personal?" Lavi spoke as raised his eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Allen didn't even consider Lavi's words instead immediately dismissed them. "Of course not." Despite this Allen did sport a sudden redness at Lavi's words that this redhead had not failed to notice.

Lavi stood up and pulled Allen up next to him and spoke in a low voice so Lenalee couldn't hear them. With that patented trouble-making Lavi Grin, "Looks to me like your face says different. You know Allen if you need any advice on the ladies you can always come to me ya know. I am like your big brother you know and well....that's what big brothers are for."

Allen with a troubled frown adorning his features, "Lavi you are only a year older than me and you don't know anything about woman. Besides I had General Cross as my seisou for years. I don't need any lessons on how to be a lecherous lady killer."

Lavi smile was crushed at the words but immediately returned and grew even bigger than before. Allen had fallen right in his trap. "So then it IS a date or something involving a girl?"

Before Allen could come up with something good fortune smiled upon him and Lenalee interuptted the two. "Allen you aren't really meeting some kind of girl are you?" The worry she tried to hide was evident and Allen's resolve to mask his intentions was momentarily broken for a second. He took her hand in his and put his other over it in a comforting manner.

"It's really nothing like that. I assure you Lenalee."

And that was really the truth, at least the truth Allen believed. He hadn't even paused to consider such a thing. As far as he was concerned it was nothing like Lavi and Lenalee thought.

Lavi wasn't done with his fun and wanted to meddle some more. It seemed to bring Allen out of his funk. "Soooo.....if it's not a date or anything then who is it you are meeting with?"

Allen couldn't reveal that. He didn't like lying. Luckily it seemed as if lady luck was smiling down on him or had the hots for him because for the second time today he was saved from a compromising situation.

Kanda had run into the room clad in a nightgown and proceeded to jump onto a table in the center of the cafeteria, gathering everyones attention in the process.

Allen really didn't need to think to hard to figure out what was going on. One word really summed it up. _Timothy. He's doing it again._

Allen wasn't the only one thinking that because Lavi immediately had a massive smile on his face and already the beginning so laughter had surfaced. Even Lenalee had put a hand to her mouth to stifle the small giggles at what she figured was coming.

Kanda (who was obviously possessed by Timothy) began to shout to draw all attention to himself that wasn't already there. "I TRANNY KANDY ASS YU cannot sleep in that room of mine anymore until someone goes and kills all the bogeymen sleeping under my bed."

At this point Kanda began to wave a girl's doll around above his head in a frantic display of hysteria. "Secondly I am tired of all the guys here eying me up. It makes me feel all vulnerable at night and I curl up and cry myself to sleep. No means NO!! The sexual harassment must end!!"

Lavi only took a break in his laughter to turn to ask, "Hey Allen where the ha hahhaaa... ha where'd you think Tim got heh hehehe got that doll from......Allen.....Allen!!???"

Allen was nowhere in sight. He had disappeared in all the distraction Timothy as Kanda had caused.

As Allen had been making his escape he had pondered his good fortune for the day. If he had good luck like this all the time he wouldn't need his legendary poker cheating skills. But thinking about everything else that was going on in his life he figured his luck wasn't that great at all.

XXXXXXXXX

Usually when people sleep they look at peace. This was not what Allen saw as he looked upon the unconscious figure of Alystar Krory. Allen sat in a seat bent over with his elbows on his knees supporting himself. He looked tired and distraught hunched over like that.

Peace was not what Allen saw as he sat there watching Krory. No, what he saw on Krory's face was the same thing he saw when he looked in the mirror. Inner turmoil. Despair. Loss. Grief.

Allen could tell after what he had seen last night. Krory was suffer in a similar manner to himself. It was no wonder he had yet to wake up. Why would he want to? He is in such a better place right now. Not having to think, to feel, to be burdened with the memory of those you have lost. Of how completely alone you have been your entire life. The only voice you ever heard was that of your own echoing in an empty castle. Yes, Krory would be better off dead.

Why is he still here? Being in a death-like state yet still alive. Why? The answer was obvious to Allen after what he had witnessed last night in his dream. Krory would have died that day in the ark, had it not been for a visit from Eliade. She had reminded him of his obligations and had strengthened his ties which bound him to this world.

He was bound to this world by his desire to help the only companions he had ever known. Allen, Lavi, Lenalee, all the others. He was bound here by his desire to help them. He was bound here by a purpose, to free the souls of all akuma in order to justify the death of the woman he loved who he had killed. In many aspects Allen realized that he and Krory were very alike. Krory wanted to die, to end it all. It was obvious all the way back to when Eliade had first died. Even then Krory had desired suicide.

He was dead inside just as Allen was and still is. No longer living for himself but living for his obligation to others. To Eliade. To his comrades whom he loved and cared about. It was no wonder he hadn't woken up. Inside he wanted death but he still wanted to fulfill those obligations. This is how his body answered these desires, by bringing him as close to death without quite being dead. Unconsciousness. This way one day he would be able to continue with those obligations if he so chose. Being dead didn't give you that choice.

So this was the next best thing. His body apparently knew that. That he didn't want to wake up.

All this Allen realized as he looked at The sleeping man's face which matched his own so well. "Even in sleep you cannot escape the pain completely can you Krory. To save the souls of those who are suffering....that was my goal.....as an exorcist. It was all so pointless when you are suffering just as much. What about your soul Krory? Who saves the souls of the living?"

He waited there as if expecting an answering from the slumbering form of his friend, knowing that there would be none. Not even if he were awake.

Allen took a deep breath and brushed Krory's hair away from his face. With the same hand he then placed on the side of Krory's face in a manner of affection, taking his time. With another deep breath Allen removed the hand and placed it atop Krory's and then spoke.

"Krory.....I...I don't know if you can hear me or not....But if you can I want you to know....I'm sorry. If you do wake up one day please seek me out. But if you choose not to....at least...please forgive me...I pray that you do not wake up though. You are better off that way."

Allen wasn't sure why he said this. He didn't really know what he meant but felt it needed to be said as if his mind refused to allow him to consciously comprehend what he was truly thinking. He quickly shook such thoughts from his mind. He looked at Krory one last time. As if it would be the last time he would ever see his friend who was so much like himself. He found it funny that he had grown closer to Krory when he had been asleep rather than awake. Funny....and sad.

Leaving Krory's bedside he had one last person he had to see before leaving the infirmary. Link who was also in a state of unconsciousness for an undetermined amount of time. Allen bowed low before the man, "I do not know for sure but....I belive you to be a good man. It takes great courage to stand against akuma for one who is not an exorcist. You are a brave man and I am sure a good one."

With that said Walker left the infirmary and headed for his room. He had an hour and a half until he he had to meet Road. He began to get ready, remembering she said to dress up. Allen assumed it was because the _moonlit eatery _was a high class establishment and formal wear was expected. Wearing anything else would be at odds with his surroundings and he would stick out like a sore thumb to be cliché.

Luckily Allen's master had been General Cross and as such Allen had numerous fine suits in his wardrobe at his disposal. Afterall being General Cross' apprentice he had to be up to dress for the places and the ladies Cross met with. "I won't let myself be seen with such filth," Cross had once and often said. Thus Allen always had a fine suit ready so he could be within Cross' company when he frequented such places and people. Allen had a suit in his current size before Cross passed away just in case Cross burst in on him and dragged him along to some place where formal-wear was expected. It might be a long-shot but such a thing was not out of character for General Cross. And if Allen didn't have one ready ohhhhhh!!! Allen shuddered at the thought. The words "BAKA APPRENTICE!" flashed through his mind as he Allen took said suit out of his wardrobe. He was glad he had it right now.

It was of course high quality (Would Cross accept anything less?). A black suit with matching pants and a white vest (think the outfit Allen wears in one of the intro or endings of the anime) Allen looked in his mirror as he buttoned up the black blazer in a proper manner. Having the forethought that his arm and scarred eye would draw unnecessary attention and put on white gloves to hide his hand made of innocence. He could do nothing about his maimed eye unfortunately.

His attire clean and pressed he looked himself over in an appraising manner. He found he looked.....acceptable. Looking at the clock he saw that he could take his time on his walk to the his place of meeting. On his way out the door Allen spotted the umbrella Road had left him to the side of the door. He took that along with him so he could return it to her. He looked over to Timcampy and called him over. "Let's go Timcampy."

Allen hadn't been showing Timcampy the amount of attention and the golumn seemed to show it. Allen decided to correct this by taking him along.

Lady luck had a sick sense of humor as Allen had the bad fortune to run into Lavi and Lenalee on his way out of the Black Order.

Lavi of course took note of his appearance. "OH!! What have we here!?? Allen all dressed up? But of course this isn't for some girl or something of course right Allen. But I gotta wonder why you look so good hmm....??"

"Lavi where I am going I need to have this level of formal wear on. Nothing else."

"Hmm...really well where are you going then?? It wouldn't happen to be someplace fancy to eat would it? Because then of course it would be a -oufff-"

Lavi didn't get to finish as he was briskly shoved aside by Lenalee. Lavi found himself falling down quite a bit of stairs. Lenalee was unconcerned though, he'd be fine she was sure. "Allen I believe you when you say this isn't...a date...or something like that...but I would like to know...who are you meeting. I can't help but be curious you know...looking the way you do."

Lady luck seemed to be having 'her time of the month' because Allen was having some really strange luck lately, good, bad, all over the place. As Timothy ran passed with Kanda in murderous frenzy chasing after him brandishing Mugan. "CRY. BABY. MUST. DIE."

"Lenalee!!! Don't let the tranny kill me!!!" Timothy jumped into Lenalee's arms holding her tight in a desperate act of seeking sanctuary.

Allen prefered not to lie to Lenalee and so he took this opportunity to make his escape. Saying nothing was not lying after all. With his usual warm reassuring smile, "Sorry Lenalee but I don't want to be late and I don't have the time to get involved in the middle of this so I will talk with you later all right?"

Before Lenalee could give her response Allen was already on his way. Lenalee called after him, "Allen one last thing. Jerry was hurt to find out you were having dinner someplace else. You'll need to talk to him later...he's...kind of having a nervous breakdown"

Flashback

"_Allen is eating someplace else!! Oh GAWD!! Sob tears. I knew it. My cooking isn't good enough for him anymore is it!? *sniff. He's cheating on me. OH GOD!!" Jerry runs off to the back of the kitchen and loud sobbing mixed with the clatter of cooking wear is heard along with mutterings of 'cake will make it all better cake will make it all better.' Jerry's tears were falling into the cake batter that he was stirring as these words were muttered. Lenalee was still standing in front of the counter very puzzled at what had just happened after she had delivered the news to him._

End Flashback

Turning his head in acknowledgment but not breaking his pace, Allen shouted back, "I'll be sure to do that. If you see Jerry before me let him know it's nothing like that."

Allen turned forward and now had a very troubled look on his face. _Jerry....what the heck...weird. I hope he'll be alright._

Lenalee watched Allen's back as he left before she was forced to deal with immediate matters of Kanda's attempted murder of Timothy. The conversation that followed had very few sentences that didn't have the word tranny in it.

XXXXXXXXXX

**Wow Kanda seems to be getting bashed an awful lot lately. I don't intentionally do it because I don't like character bashing...usually. Anyway not trying to bash Kanda...sorry bout that.**

**On to better matters though. It seems "Lollipop" and "Suger n' Sweet" whom you both met earlier (yes these are there names. Yeah I know. WAAAAY more than daddy issues goin on. But they are smart so screw it.)**

Both girls wave

**Yeah well we've been talking and they have made some really brilliant points about my threats not being efficient. It seems it's because I am not choosing the right targets so with their help I have come up with one that should work. **

Lollipop: "He's gonna blow up gay stuff."

**Yes I am gonna blow up NO!!! I am not blowin up "gay stuff."Because no one cared about the strip club or strippers we have come to the conclusion that my primary demographic consist of females. Female manga/anime fans tend to enjoy yaoi. Thus I am going to destroy all Yaoi fanfiction unless I get reviews. I don't have any issues with anybodies sexual orientation or anything. I am a businessman....a businessman with bombs and guns. This is just extortion, nothing personal. **

Sugar n' Sweet: "That makes it okay?"

**Pretty much. Anyway as such if I don't get reviews I will destroy all Yaoi fanfiction, especially D GRAY MAN yaoi fanfiction. That means no more Allen x Lavi x Kanda x Tyki x Cross group orgies all in a pile. No I'm gonna come in there with a shovel and bash them all to death....and I'm real good with a shovel (gotta be if I'm gonna bury the number of bodies I have). The smell of blood, death, seman, and bu$%-sex will litter the walls of your fanfiction and be all that is left of your yaoi unless you REVIEW PLEASE. Oh and special thanks to Book Thief101, coolgirl200, obsessedlove, and Junoan for being the ones who have repeatedly reviewed. This is thanks for being loyal readers/fans. And as thanks make some requests guys and I'll see if I can make them happen any kind of threats or acts of violence you want done just ask.**

**~Wolf**


	5. The Road I Now Walk

**Well it's been awhile since I updated and since you have all been so good about reviewing the chapters I put up I am making this update worth TWO updates in length. That's right, the good people we are jumping right into the story this time. No long winded rants from me this time. This is also done as a thank you cause I don't think you guys want to hear me drone on all the time. I'll do that later. As Always PLEASE REVIEW and thank you to those who do.**

Oh again I have to pitch this because it goes so well with the style of story I am trying to set. Check out this video at **youtube** because I can't post a link. Type "**D Gray-Man AMV – Missing**." It was posted by **GreenArcherAlchemist**. This video is really touching and goes well with the past chapters and the style I am trying to set, highly recommend it.

Disclaimer: I do not own D Gray-Man nor did I post that vid I just mentioned but props to whoever did.

XXXXXXXXXX

Allen was now on the dirt road headed into town, thankful he was able to escape that situation with Lenalee. He didn't like to lie to his friends and preferred not to. This was the best way. No lies were told no harm was done....kind of.

As Allen walked at a calm pace, Timcampy perched on his shoulder, he started to inspect the umbrella that Road had left him which he now carried.

There, stretching from the handle halfway to the top of the umbrella was an inscription. The words dug into the wood of the umbrella and Allen had failed to notice them before. Probably because he was too busy with his own thoughts and concerns. There inscribed on handle of the umbrella was the following:

_It's said that rain are the tears of god. Don't be fooled, god stopped crying for us long ago. Those are the tears of those who have died. These souls cry for those who now live for they are the ones who should truly be pitied. _

Allen actually stopped for a moment after reading this. Such deep ideology inscribed in to the handle of an umbrella. He wondered who it was quoting as there was no name after the quote. It was so thought provoking. So melancholy, macabre, and disparaging. As if from someone famous. Allen really wanted to know who it was from.

Allen had found his way into town. The dirt road had become more well defined with the passage of time and the many feet that had used it. The roads had many people occupying it. Each on their with their own destination and set goal. Some wearing suits similar to Allen's or better. Some in more humble attire. Stores and other merchants could be seen through the windows of their stores hocking their wares or services. Yet not to far did one have to look to see the hidden side of the city.

Just like trash these poor folk lined the gutters and dirty alleyways of the city. Allen didn't have to look to find them, far from it. Instead one had to TRY and ignore their presence as all the people seemed to be doing. How could people be so blind to the suffering of others which was occurring right before their eyes. These weren't people to them...merely garbage which littered the streets. An eyesore which was brushed aside from the conscious mind and ignored.

How can they do such things. The clothes these people wore could barely be qualified as that. Merely rags and clothe to ward off the elements and the cold of the night...but they could not ward off the pangs of loneliness in the cold nights lying in the streets.

There were so many of them and yet no one tried to help them. Allen wanted to. He approached a group in an alley and took out his pouch which held his money. It didn't matter to him that he wouldn't have money to pay for dinner for himself. _It's alright. I just won't eat. It's a fair trade so they can for once._

Allen took out all he had and realized with all the people there what he had just wasn't enough. This couldn't help feed all of them. It wouldn't even help 1/5 of those present and that was ignoring those whom Allen had passed earlier. This could only feed a few. It couldn't even clothe them. How does one choose whom to give it to. Allen didn't know. He merely placed the money on the ground. "Please distribute this amongst your selves. Let those who need it the most use it."

Those words fell on deaf ears as a mad dash for the cash ensued. Some seemed to fight over it. A woman with a young baby came up to him after all had been scrounged away. "Please...we could get nothing...do you not have anything you could spare for us. My baby and I are starving."

These people had not even tried to distribute the money to those who needed it most. Instead it was every man for himself. _They did not have the heart to help this poor woman and her child....or maybe they were just too concerned with helping themselves. Who could blame them when you are starving._ Allen tried not to think badly of them for their selfishness. They were merely trying to save themselves. It was not done out of selfish intent but self preservation. At least Allen hoped. He couldn't be sure which. But despite which it still left this poor woman and her baby with nothing.

Allen shook his head, "I am sorry miss. I have nothing else I can give you." Allen considered giving her the clothes off his back perhaps she could sell it for food. But still the fact was he needed those himself. Even if he did that he nothing to give the dozens of other suffering people.

Allen couldn't help these people no matter how hard he tried. He couldn't even alleviate the misery and hunger of 1/5th of the homeless he had seen. And those he did help it could only be enough to feed them for a day. What about the rest of those who were suffering in the world from homelessness and hunger. _In the end it doesn't really matter does it. No matter how hard I try it's all pointless. I can't save them._

Considering all this these were merely the people whose suffering was apparent on the surface. What about those who suffering was hidden....like Allen's.

As Allen turned to leave the woman grabbed his clothes with a weak grip. "Please young sir you must have something else....you..you wouldn't let a baby starve and die would you?"

With regret on his face but resolve Allen disengaged her grip. "I am sorry...but I really don't have anything else at all I can give you. I am truly sorry."

With that Allen briskly walked away before she could continue to beg him.

It was true Allen didn't have anything else to give her. Yet he also thought why bother. _It would be pointless wouldn't it. It wouldn't really save her. Just delay their suffering and the inevitable. What about the others. I can't help everyone. In the end it's pointless._

The good mood Allen had developed on his casual walk from the order to town was now destroyed. The nearby woods and scenery which had lifted his spirits on his way here now had been undone. Allen moved and weaved between the busy people on the streets. Being cautious and aware of pickpockets but then remembering he had nothing of value to steal. _Yet more depravity....pickpockets whose theft inflicts suffering. Some may steal to alleviate their own suffering yet in doing so make others suffer. That's merely a possibility._

Allen realized he had become more deep and philosophical recently. More so then he normally was. Before he could turn his mind off for a bit. But now it seemed these analytical thoughts were now a constant and couldn't be shut off.

Allen found himself at his destination_. _The place was rather large and in the better off part of town. There weren't as many unsightly individuals (as some might call them) in this area of town. Wealth, privilege, and indulgence was everywhere but more so with the restaurant Allen stood before.

An aura of romance and candlelit dinners emanated simply from the lit windows which glowed a bright yellow with the darkening sky above. A somber and peaceful atmosphere was created from the simple elegance of the scene in front of him combined with the upscale architecture and style of design of the building. As Allen opened the thick wooden front door with lavish engravings, he didn't need to step foot inside to think of how unfair this was. Here these people were living a life of indulgence while not more the a few blocks away people were starving. Upon entering the entranceway which gave view to the wide dining area beyond Allen's thoughts were only confirmed even more.

A fine red carpet lay down to welcome those from the outside. Beyond the entranceway was a stand with where an attendee stood with a list of those who had reservations. Neatly trimmed hair and a clean pressed suit. The man perfectly fit in with his surroundings. Upon seeing Allen with his white hair and grotesquely disfigured eye the man's face seem to lose that calm air of welcome that it held a moment ago.

Beyond the attendee the red carpeting merged into the dining area and gradually the color faded from a bright red to a warm brown. The entire dining area was filled with people all of upper class by their appearance alone. The tables had clean white clothes covering them with lit candles that were merely for show. Small bit of various flowers lay in the center of every table in an attempt to increase the atmosphere of magic or class, whichever was the attempt. The real lighting was done by much larger candles which lined the walls around the dining room. A chandler above was lit with candles to create the warm, welcoming, happy atmosphere. The walls were in the same wooden design as the door with similar elegant engravings, only here and there were some potted plants to prevent the place from seeming too artificial.

The roof above was what truly captured Allen's attention. As if taking a page from Michelangelo's work on the Sistine chapel but not nearly as extravagant. On the ceilings were wooden engravings depicting....well scenes that Allen couldn't make out from this distance. It was quite a sight though. Not exactly impressive but a very nice artistic touch that gave the room a flare and life all it's own.

The man's face seemed to have lost it's disapproving look and returned to it's initial welcoming countenance.

"Uh Hello...um I am not sure if there's a reservation but I'm here to meet a miss Road Kamelot. Is she here?"

The attendee's eye's widened a bit at this bit of news and the icy front that he had been directing at Allen instantly disappeared.

"Ah you are Miss Kamelot's guest. Yes she has been expecting you. She's near the kitchen." He indicated with his hand to a corner which Allen assumed would lead him closer to the kitchen.

"I would take you there myself sir but I must man the door. I am sure you understand."

Smiling sheepishly, "Heh of course. Thank you"

"Oh and please give Miss Kamelot my best sir."

Allen briskly made his way around the corner. He looked around trying to spot Road but couldn't seem to find her amidst the sea of white tables and people. Allen took note that there were no Akuma present, his eye would have spotted that. For that he was grateful.

Road was playing with the dining ware making a kind of tower or pyramid out of wine glasses and silverware. She was bored. She was carefully trying to place another piece without tipping it over when the white color of Allen's hair caught her attention. She rose from her seat quite rapidly knocking her man made dinnerware tower over yet miraculously none of it breaking.

Allen saw her as she was standing waving with one hand and calling his name "AlllllEEEEN!!!" creating quite a spectacle. You'd be hard pressed not to see or hear her.

Allen smiled a bit embarrassed as he made his way over to her. As he did so he noticed what she was wearing and was thankful he took her advice and dressed up for the occasion. She wore a similar dress to what she wore that night in the graveyard yet this one made her seem more....mature despite her antics. It was a simple blue which went well with her hair but the color bled into a dark blue then midnight black in a symmetrical style. The end of the dress, which went to her knees, was laced with red which matched the red lace which ran down her arms to hook around her thumb. Although Allen couldn't see it the only thing which might have ruined the image was she lacked the heels (sorry she still couldn't walk in those...**it was Hard!**)

Her hair was down in a similar manner to that night in the graveyard. All in all She looked very pretty. _I think she looks nice!? *sigh There must be something wrong with me._

As he made his way over to her he couldn't help replaying Lavi's words in his head. "_So are you meeting a girl Allen?" "Are you sure it's not a date Allen?"_

_This is not a date. This is not a date. This is not a date._

Allen tried to convince himself it wasn't but with this current situation and the surrounding evidence he found his own conviction in this belief to be dissipating.

_It does seem like a date doesn't it. Why would I even be second guessing myself unless it seemed like it was! Just stop thinking. You are making to big a deal out of this and probably just imagining things._

"Hi Allen!" She stood and gave him a tight hug.

When she let go a second later Allen smiled at her, "Hello Road." _I am smiling at her...and I actually mean it...now I know there is something wrong with me. _It had been awhile since he had given an honest smile. It felt nice.

"Oh Allen you look great! I love that little silk bow tie it's so cute on you."

As the two sat down Allen gave another embarrassed smile, "uh thanks."

"Hold on a sec." Road then did something which made Allen's heart stop. She went under the table.

_What is she doing!!!_

Thankfully she brought her head back from under it not a moment later holding a familiar looking top hat. Allen breathed a sigh of relief which Road took note of.

With a puzzled look on her face she asked, "What's wrong Allen....why do you look so red?"

"Oh uh...it's nothing....don't worry about it."

realization dawned upon her as she put two and two together. That trouble making grin gracing her face now as she looked at him with an accusing smirk and evil glint in her eye. "You were thinking something dirty weren't you Allen-kun." she said in a sing song low voice. Allen felt his face grow red under her accusing gaze.

"You are such a dirty boy Allen." She giggled at this. Allen, with his face red, quickly came to his own defense.

"What are you talking about! I...It's nothing like that."

"First you dream about me in the middle of the night and now this hmm. You are a boy after all it's only to be expected hee hee."

Allen momentarily lost his cool, "I...I'm not like that!!"

Road giggled enjoying the reaction she had gotten from Allen. "I'm only playing. It' s alright."

Allen sighed. She would give him a panic attack, how did she keep doing this kind of stuff to him? Allen then asked, "So what's with the top hat."

"Oh right! Oh well I stole this from Tyki, he's got more than one you know so he probably won't miss it. I always thought he looked so handsome in it and wanted you to try it on. It's a good thing I brought it because it looks like your outfit is missing something."

"uh....Ty..Tyki's hat???.....um.....alright." Allen did as she requested. She just seemed so happy and he couldn't refuse that pleading look she was giving him.

The hat went exceedingly well with the outfit. It was actually scary how good it looked all together. As if it was meant to be.

Giving a small squeal of joy, "Oooooh Allen it looks great on you! You look so handsome."

She never failed to surprise him. "Uh thank you." He took it off and tried to hand it back to her.

"No keep it. It looks good on you and Tyki's got enough that he won't miss that one. It would be crime if you didn't wear it."

"I....really shouldn't."

"I'll make a scene if you don't."

"alright then...thank you."

as comedic as this scene was Allen found himself amused as well. "Here Road I wanted to return this to you and thank you for lending it to me. It's only fair I return it after you giving me another gift. I also wanted to know whose quote this is."

Allen pointed to the handle where the inscription was placed. Road looked at it.

"Why do you want to know?"

"Because....because it was really moving I thought. It's very deep and inspirational...even in a rather dark manner. Maybe that's why it's meaningful. Such a calm and touching acceptance of such a horrible fate. I....I just really wanted to know who wrote it is all."

Road looked at him for what seemed like minutes. "You did Allen."

Confusion was an understatement of what Allen was feeling and Road seemed to know this.

"Well actually it was the 14th who wrote it but well.....you know. He's a part of you so in essence you wrote it."

The mood seemed to darken at that. Allen said nothing for awhile. Road's eyes wandered to Allen's shoulder where she spotted a resting Timcampy nesting on Allen's shoulder sleepily.

In a blur Allen noticed something was missing? What was it? Timcampy!? Looking across the table He saw Road laughing and giggling as she poked Timcampy.

_Poke_

"It's so cute ha hahaha!"

_Poke_

"Awww and so tiny too."

_Poke_

"And those little wings and tiny feathers awww. haahahah"

_poke_

"It's like a living stuffed animal."

_poke_

After the last soft jab of affection Road began petting him affectionately which was a good thing because Allen was worried at how she seemed to have been abusing him.

"What's his name?"

"Ah his name is Timcampy."

"Where'd you get him?" she said as she gently tossed him in the air only to catch him.

".....my master, General Cross, gave him to me....before he died."

Road caught Timcampy but didn't continue with the little game of tossing she had started which Timcampy seemed to like.

"General Cross is dead!!!" Road seemed genuinely shocked, her eyes had widened in surprise and her mouth hung open slightly.

"Yes....we don't know how."

Allen then felt that he had to ask the next question or else he wouldn't be able to live with himself.

"Road did....did any of you kill him?"

".......Allen I didn't even know he was dead. I mean we could have but I imagine I would have heard something about it from Tyki or the Earl. I mean that would be big news....like celebration news! The Earl would throw a party if any of us had killed him. But no, nothing. Would you like me to ask the earl about it. I would have to let him know Cross is dead though."

Despite her being the enemy Allen believed her. She seemed so sincere and the shock in her eyes at the news. Inwardly sighing Allen resigned himself to take her for her word no matter how foolish that may be he found that he no longer cared. _It doesn't matter anymore. Nothing matters._ Even amongst enemies there should be some form of honor and this was such a circumstance. Although one can not always trust their enemies Allen felt this was one time he should. If Road _was _lying to him well then everything seemed even more hopeless. It was surprising to Allen to realize this. That he had come to See his contact with Road and her words to him as something positive in his life. _When did that happen?_

The other matter Allen had to deal with was whether or not to leak this information to the earl in order for Allen to gain some information of his own. Information was a powerful weapon and the earl could use this. If the earl was as honorable as Road seemed to be...? No he couldn't risk it...not yet.

"Road I would rather you not mention it to him yet. I just can't trust my enemy with such a vital piece of info."

Road smiled devilishly at him upon hearing this. "But you trusted **me!**Does that mean **you**trust me with such juicy gossip?"

Without knowing it Allen had leaked this info to the enemy unwittingly. He hadn't even considered Road might just tell the Earl. He just assumed she wouldn't....that....that she wasn't a threat to him right now. That whatever happened now would be kept right here and now and not leave this room.

His eyes widening slightly in contemplation at this, "Um yes. I never even really thought you might betray my trust. I never even considered the possibility." Allen smiled at her at this point, "so I guess I do trust you. Otherwise I wouldn't have told you that and I certainly wouldn't be here."

Unknown to Allen though Road had kind of drifted off after the words '_I trust you'. _Those words lit a small spark and filled her with warmth. Allen could not comprehend how happy those words had made her. This warmth filled her face only resulting in a small blush but a much more noticeable smile...not filled with malicious or mischievous intent but....with happiness. Genuine happiness. It was not something Allen had ever seen in Road. Normally her smiles in not wicked were just childish happiness but this one was....different.

_She's...really cute when she smiles like that. _Allen thought to himself

Road spoke, "I won't mention it to anyone else Allen. I swear. It really means a lot to me that you trust me."

Silence was again settled over the both of them momentarily and Allen seemed to fall into disparaging thoughts again remembering his dead master.

It was strange how Road seemed distraught. As if she was irked at how her attempts to cheer the cloudy mood kept failing. Maybe that's why she said what she did next but it being Road it just might have been a whim.

"You know it might be fun to rip Timcampy's wings off."

At this Timcampy seemed panic and flutter his wings with a maddening attempt to distance himself from her but she held him close to her. Unable to escape, Timcampy seemed to give Allen a pleading look filled with tears or at least it seemed that way to Allen since Timcampy had no eyes but if he did Allen was sure they would be practically screaming at him.

Allen's eyes seemed to be screaming in panic as well after hearing this and he began waving his hands frantically in a gesture to dissuade Road.

"ROAD! No!...Please!!! Don't! He...he didn't do anything! Please!-"

Road's laughter cut him off before he could finish whatever he was panic induced ramble he was attempting.

"hhahahahah...aw Allen I am only playing. I won't hurt Timcampy even if it would be fun. But I won't. Though I could because I agreed I wouldn't hurt _you_. You didn't mention anything about anyone else."

Allen seemed to pale a bit at this which only made Road giggle a bit more forcing her to hold her free hand to her mouth to stifle her fit of giggles.

"But I wouldn't do that. I am only playing with you Allen. It's so much fun to tease you! But you might wanna consider these kinds of things in the future because if I was someone else you might be saying buh bye to Timcampy right now."

Allen breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "That wasn't funny."

"OH yes it was Allen-kun." Letting Timcampy flutter back to Allen's shoulder as she stroked a circle with her index finger onto the table in a display of flirting far beyond her years.

_Where is she picking up these things?_ Allen thought to himself at the action along with other less tasteful things that he mentally chided himself for and will not be mentioned.

XXXXXXXXXX

Road could not believe her eyes. Allen had devoured more food then...then....ah there isn't even anything to compare it to. It's not like an eating contest because he still kept his table manners. It was like watching a bomb destroy the food then clean up after itself. Without those manners she would have considered this the act of a pig. But with them she could only marvel at how impressive his appetite was and wonder how he stayed so thin.

_All that food has to go somewhere. If he stays so thin and fit then that's gotta mean he burns all that energy off...That's an aweful lot of energy then....I wonder what he could do with it all....???_

Road couldn't help but laugh and giggle at her dirty thoughts.

The waiter had come and Allen had explained that he didn't have any money because of the incident with the homeless. Road found this to be a sweet gesture and encouraged him to order anyway. She would pay.

Allen protested the idea but Road was quite insistent pointing out how wealthy her family was and so Allen complied.

The look on Roads face as he placed his massive order was only overshadowed by her expression as she watched Allen destroy the food in a hurricane of forks, knives, and spoons.

They now sat finished with dinner while Road poked fun at how much he could eat. She wasn't upset at all. Money wasn't a problem.

Allen couldn't help but laugh with her as she teased him. _This is nice. _He thought to himself.

But with dinner over and pleasantries aside they had yet to deal with the specific reason for their meeting: Allen's despair and confusion.

Allen started, "I...I've been thinking for a long time....though it was only last night that I admitted it to myself that I am not sure if I am on the right side. Everything you've said Road. It makes so much sense now. If you had told me before I learned about the 14th, about Mana. I wouldn't have even considered such thoughts...but now. Now I'm not sure. I can't help but consider them and the more I think about it the more right your ideas seem. I feel like a horrible person because of that."

"You are not Allen." She put her hand atop his in a comforting gesture. "Your not horrible for being in pain. For wanting to save people's souls from their suffering. That's a good thing. It's the same thing the order does. They only focus on Akuma and not people though. If anything Allen it makes you a better person. It's understandable to feel guilty for believing such things to be right. All of us felt that way initially when we first recovered our memories. But with time we came to see our goal as a necessary evil that is required in this world because of it's flawed design. Allen to be so caring and kind...to be so concerned when you haven't even become a Noah...when you aren't technically a Noah. You are so special and wonderful."

Allen's hair hung over his eyes as he listened to her words. Such kind words he could never have pictured coming from Road had he not met her last night. Her words, both since last night and tonight, meant a great deal to him. They lifted his spirits. Not by making it seem like all the horrible things in this world would go away but by making him feel like he is no longer alone. That there are others like himself. That she understood how he felt and when he looked into her eyes when she was like this he could swear that he saw the same sorrow, pain, and despair in her eyes.

Because of that. That feeling of unity. That there were others like himself...who agreed with these ideas of saving everyone from suffering by ending this twisted world. People like the Noah...and Road. That gave Allen encouragement, confidence, and certainty that what he was feeling wasn't wrong

Allen came here tonight not really knowing why or what would happen. But now he did. He knew now why he had said those things to an unconscious Krory.

He didn't know it until now but he no longer believed that the path he had been walking was the right one any more. He didn't feel the Black Order was the path to achieve his goal: to save everyone's soul. Both human and Akuma. No matter what, this world was warped and wrong and there would always be suffering. Because of that the only way to save souls from that is to give their souls peace. Peace that could only be granted in death. Then when all were dead their souls would finally be free and be at peace. So that would be Allen's gift. The gift of death. Not just for Akuma but for humans as well.

This world must end. That was his goal. That was the goal of the Noah. Of the Earl.

All of this Allen knew, it had only been now that he had fully realized it. These words with Road convinced him fully.

With a breaking in his voice as he struggled slightly with the words, "Road...I'm ..not"

Again she seemed as if able to read his mind, "Allen are you sure you are on the right side?" Her hand still on top of his lending him the warmth of her contact and the serenity that went with it.

The words now came easier to Allen. Less struggle to form them. "No...I'm not."

Interrupting Road as her voice spoke up, Allen finished. "But I am now."

Allen raised his head to look her right in the eyes as he calmly spoke.

"I want to help you. I want to end this world and save everyones soul from suffering in this flawed world god created. I want to join you Road...and the Earl."

The hand Road had on Allen's tightened noticeably. She couldn't believe what she was hearing! All the blood was rushing to her head at the possibilities this presented. She was struck speechless, her mind overwhelmed with so many thoughts.

Allen seemed to grasp at one of these thoughts specifically as if sharing that mental bond that enabled Road to know what he was thinking.

"What about the innocence though. If I join your side the innocence will believe I have turned my back on god and it'll consume me...just...just like Suman. But I can't get rid of the innocence. Not just because I'll be useless without it but because....I'll die...without it. That hole in my heart. Where Tyki's tease bit. I should have died from that wound. That hole is still there and the only thing keeping me alive is the innocence. It's filled the hole in my heart and without it...I'll die."

As if possible Road gripped his hand tighter. She knew what Allen was talking about. She had learned on the ark of the hole Tyki had made in his heart. She knew what happened to exorcists who sided with the Noah. What could she do? Allen couldn't live without the innocence but with it he would be killed by it.

Road knew of the exorcist Suman and what happened to him. Word had spread of the new pet Tyki had found and when he was terminated by his own innocence Tyki didn't keep it a secret.

Road moved her seat beside Allen. The next words Road spoke Allen would never forget. "You're worried about the hole in your heart...."

With one hand atop Allen's she placed her free hand gently on his chest where his heart would be.

"Allen let me fill that hole in your heart."

Allen's blush was immeasurable. _Wha...what did she say!? That ...that was so.. I can't believe Road could be so....romantic_.

Allen Couldn't help these thoughts because putting aside his feelings what had just occurred was truly heart-touching in more than just one way.

Looking at her now with her hand on his chest, her eyes looking up at him meeting his. She looked so innocent and sincere. She looked....so...so

_...cute_

Allen's mind finished for him. He couldn't help but be moved by her display.

"That was...really amazing Road. I seriously do mean that but really what am I supposed to do about this? I promised myself I would walk my own path until the day I die and that's what I want to do but it seems the path I want to walk is one I cannot. I am incapable of walking on it."

There was a pause at his words as if Road was contemplating them though her eyes never left his.

"Then let me be your road that you walk on. The path you forge is your own but I'll be there so you can walk it. I promise I will help you Allen. I'll help you walk this path of yours if it's what you truly want. No matter what I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

She took her hand off his heart and put it to her chest and spoke, "road."

She placed it back on his chest and followed with. "walker."

She smiled slightly up at him. "The two go together."

Allen was again blown away by her touching words. _Road is far more romantic than I had ever believed. I had no idea_.

Words failed him and all he could manage in his flustered, blushing, embarrassed state was to nod his head in agreement.

With that signal of acknowledgment, Road followed with the inquiry that seemed to double as a statement, "let's go okay?"

Again Allen nodded in agreement and with that the two disappeared I a door that had formed beneath them both.

In an instant they faded into it and any trace of them was gone without anyone having noticed the magic show that had just occurred.

They also effectively skipped out on paying the bill in doing so. Leaving a very angry staff and waiter with an unpaid bill.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sugar N' Sweet: Now all you do is stick it in. It's easy. I know it's your first time so here go ahead and try.

**Uh are you sure? You want me to just stick it in I mean....I thought there was more to it then that. **

Sugar N' Sweet: Nope not really

**Plus I am not really into this kind of thing...I find it in bad taste**

Lollipop: *sniffle that's so beautiful.

**What? Her teaching me how to tip at a strip club. (inches from relatively reluctanly placing a tip in a pair of panties Sugar is wearing.)**

**(Is hit HARD by Lollipop.)**

Lollipop: Not THAT! The story. *sniffle It's so sweet and romantic the kind of thing every girl dreams about....(looks at him lying on the ground rubbing his head.)....If you wrote it doesn't that make you romantic too?

**What? Me?.....hold on let me check....nope I still have a penis so I must not.**

**(Killing Intent from her rising)**

**JUST KIDDING JUST KIDDING Please don't hit me! I am only playing. But yeah it does. I admit it. I am a lazy guy and wouldn't write something like this if I wasn't interested in it. **

Lollipop: You don't seem like the type with all the....violent and psycho talk I guess to put it simply.

**ANNNYWAY! It's that time again where I have to forcibly extract Reviews from you people....hmmm. (thinks for a minute) My threats against Yaoi were effective so I think I'll hold that hostage now as well but I won't do anything now to it because I am a man of my word. What else??....oh got it. Yeah at this upcoming international "ALL GUYS MEETING." Where all the guys around the world get together to discuss things and-**

Sugar N' Sweet: Wait! There's an "All Guys Meeting" like that!?

**-...yes...anyway like I said before I was interrupted. At this upcoming meeting we'll be discussing whether guys should stop being jerks to girls. Normally I would support this. But seeing as how it's now leverage for me and my demographic of readers...well you see where I am goin with this right? REVIEW Or else I'll lend my support in opposing this motion and guys everywhere will continue to act like complete tools and ass#$%. Threat threat threat blah blah REVIEW DAMMIT. **

Lollipop: (whispers) you are bluffing right?

**(whispers) yeah but it works.**

**P.S. I think I might have gone a little to far with the joke above. If so please let me know and I apologize.**


	6. Misinformation and Allen in the Closet

**Alright in order to be able to update more often I will be cutting down the length of each chapter but the upside to this is I will update more frequently. I would like to do it every day or every other day but like the nine pages I am doing now that would be quite a task and I am not getting paid. It is a labor of love. I am also going to be doing the author jokes more infrequently because well that takes time too. Oh they'll still happen just not every time because I got "stuff" (*hush *hush *nudge *nudge *wink *wink *push over) to do. So no joke this time. As always PLEASE REVIEW. I really love the reviews I have been getting I just hope I get more though. Like only 6 people review this frequently and I am thankful for everyone who has submitted a review. But I am a greedy bastard and I crave MORE! This chapter is leading to something trust me I just wanted to get a chapter updated so that's why there is not more here. Don't worry I still have A LOT more plot to give you so no lack of ideas here. As always enjoy**

**~Wolf**

XXXXXX

Morning came and with it the sounds of people rising to greet the new day. A new day meant new things, new surprises. And with that people around the Black Order rose with the light of the dawning sun.

However some were more exuberant about the changes this new day brought than others.

The Black Order used to be a nice, quiet place. Now the sounds of screaming were common place and could be heard at any hour of the day. This morning it was Lavi's loud voice which echoed through the order's halls. Luckily everyone was already awake and coming from or to breakfast.

Lavi had come to get Allen from his room for breakfast. Knocking yet still getting no response, Lavi opened the door and checked Allen's room.

Finding his room empty and noticing the sheets on Allen's bed undisturbed signifying Allen hadn't slept in it last night. A grin grew on Lavi's face as he jumped to the sound conclusion that Allen had stayed somewhere else last night....WITH HIS DATE!

So Lavi of course had to spread the news and did so by running full speed through the orders creaming at the top of his lungs, "ALLEN GOT SOME LAST NIGHT!" And things along those lines.

Lavi was happy not just because he was able to embarrass Allen but because this was something Allen needed with the recent depression Lavi had noticed. Allen needed this and Lavi was glad because now he hoped Allen would be in better spirits. If it wasn't a date and he hadn't....ahem slept with another well then _OOPS Sorry Allen hehehehe._

Lavi would still get to have his fun and this could raise Allen's spirit anyway.

With a cloud of dust and smoke trailing Lavi as he dashed through the cafeteria, "Allen didn't come back last night! HE'S EATIN BREAKFAST IN BED WITH SOMEONE ELSE! HECK HE COULD BE EATING IT OFF SOMEONE ELSE!"

As the form of Lavi sped off from the cafeteria leaving an even more distraught Jerry standing frozen at the serving window. _Allen didn't come back last night!!! He's...he's not going to be eating breakfast here...' _

While these thoughts paralyzed Jerry, "Yeah hi, could I get some bacon and eggs and-"

Jerry grabbed him by the shirt, "NO YOU CAN'T! ALLEN NEVER came back for breakfast. my food isn't good enough for him anymore. HE'S LEFT ME!" Throwing this hapless person on his butt Jerry continued his hysterical crying fit.

"ALLLLEEEEN OH GOD....WHY!? Why Allen why? It thought we had something special."

Jerry, with tears running down his face looked at the giant cake he had made for Allen to win him back. It put gourmet wedding cakes to shame with it's size and extravagance. It even had an edible Allen on top. "IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH THAT'S WHY!!" Jerry slammed his fist to a button located on the side of the wall labeled 'Not Good Enough' and the cake immediately exploded covering the room and mingling with Jerry's tears. "I just need to make something better."

Reever was on a video communications line with Lou Fa, the female science officer in Japan who had a rather large crush on Allen, going over the data they had gathered on how the ark worked. "Well carrying on from yesterday Lou Fa it seems-" his voice was cut off with this:

"Allen didn't come back from his date last night! His HOT DATE went into OVERTIME with him SCORING...ALL...NIGHT....LONG WOOO! The games probably still going on right now."

Reever sweatdropped at this as Lavi streaked past him in the background. Lou Fa saw and heard this. She looked like she was about to breakdown and cry her eyes were glistening with tears. "....A.....Allen..."

Reever tried to respond, "I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding." His effort was destroyed as Leavi kicked up a cloud of dust as he rant through the room again.

"NO doubt about it! Allen's got his FACE BURIED in more than just his usual PIE....and you know how much PIE HE CAN EAT. He might even have a new FAVORITE FLAVOR!"

Reever turned back to find a crying Lou Fa who cut the transmission with Reever and started bawling.

_Oh Allen *sob *sob....I could've sexed you up right. Why didn't you come to me!?_

Reever sighed on his end, "this is not good."

A red headed devil now making his way thorugh the order at high speeds and high volulme. Lavi passed by General Cloud's room who scratched her head being risen from her sleep as she exited her room. _Allen....that's Cross' boy right? Figures._

Lavi's and his message now spread past the infirmary where Miranda was checking on Krory. She rose to inspect the noise and stood in the doorway in time to watch Lavi pass. "Allen's still not back...cause he's STILL IN BED....WITH HIS DATE from last night YEAH!"

Miranda could only put her hand to her mouth to cover the smile. "Oh my."

When both Lavi and word passed Lenalee it went a little something like: "Allen still hasn't come b ack from his HOT DATE cause he's busy messin up her BED! STRIKE FOR ALLEN!"

Lenalee watched Lavi go. She was in shock at the news and felt a little weak in the knees. _Allen....you...you spent the night with someone!?_

Lenalee turned to chase aftger Lavi so she could find out more. It couldn't be what it seemed...right?

As Lavi turned a corner at high speed he began filling his lungs with air for another shout when an arm was stuck out in his path clothes-lining him. Lavi had run right into it knocking the wind out of him as he lay on his back. "*cough *cough...hey Jiji"

"You are too loud..."

Lenalee had caught up with him and jogged up to Lavi who was still on the ground. She offered her hand and helped him up. "What's this about Allen?"

Lavi's giddy attidtude dropped at who was asking. "Oh..uh..Allen....he still isn't...back from his date...*cough...last night. I checked his room and his bed hasn't been slept in....but I'm sure it's not what we think. I was only playing I mean it's Allen afterall!"

Lavi could see the concern and hurt on her face. He didn't even think of her feelings about this news. He didn't mean to hurt her with it but hadn't even stopped to think of it but now realized he had screwed up and it was too late.

Lavi couldn't see Lenalee's eyes now as her head hung gazing at the floor, unmoving. "Lenalee..." Lavi said as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

Surprisingly her head shot up with a smile on her face looking as bright and happy as the sun itself this morning. "What?...." she said after Lavi merely started at this strange display before him. He couldn't figure this out let alone how he should respond.

Lenalee continued, "what....did you think I was unaware of you boys and your needs and all that stuff? Come on, of course I know about all that. I know how you boys think after all Komui is so over protective that he'd try and warn me about stuff like that...well more like frighten me." she waved her hand in a dismissive manner at this. " I am glad Allen found someone to help him with it...after all your gender seems to need it an awful lot and Allen deserves some happiness in his life"

The ceiling seemed to slam on both Lavi and Bookman's head at this point. _What the hell!!?_

"I don't know why you are getting concerned Lavi, I'm fine. Well WHEN Allen get's back" She said this in a teasing manner. "tell him I would like to meet this girl of his."

With a smile and a small wave goodbye she calmly walked off. With her back turned no one saw the tears which now trailed her cheeks. Allen's masking his emotions seemed to have rubbed off on miss Lee.

XXXXXXX

Little did anyone realize just how wrong they were. Allen had found himself at Road's home after leaving the restaurant. Her room to be precise. Nothing lewd happened although endless jokes of such things were a constant from Road.

Road was excited to show Allen her room and all her little trinkets and memorabilia. Allen could only smile and nod. She was so happy he didn't want to burst her bubble by showing he wasn't interested. What did surprise him though was just how normal Road's interests were. Well most of them at least. Many of those interests held glimpses into her more sadistic and dark joys she took part in. Things like a few dolls that had been torn to pieces or pins and needles stuck throughout their body. Most painfully in their eyes.

Tourturing dolls seemed to lead to more sinister pleasures it seemed. But these dolls were in the minority compared to the other more pristine versions of stuffed animals and collectables around her room. Books lined the room and were actually pretty intellectual reading material. It explained a bit of about how Road seemed to be a bit shaper than most her age...which Allen had yet to pinpoint precisely anyway.

It seemed she was just like any other girl really. There was no pink anywhere but Allen didn''t really she Road as the type but lately she kept surprising him so he tried to keep an open mind.

Road had told Allen that he would be staying here tonight and would start things in the morning. Gradually introducing Allen into the family was Road's plan otherwise they would just outright kill him on sight. That's why he was stuck in her room for the night. Allen was still uncomfortable with the idea of letting down his guard to such a degree as sleeping in front of the enemy. _But she's no longer the enemy is she. _

Allen decided that this was the path he would follow and if it lead to him being slaughtered in his sleep then so be it. There was no other path for him to follow and if this ended in his death then it didn't really matter. Luckily these were just his thoughts and he was pretty sure he wouldn't be killed by Road since he had grown to trust her. But it was still strange in the matter of two days he had gone from not turning his back to her to basically giving her an opening to slit his throat

When he asked where he would be sleeping Road just laughed and began looking around the room in mock curiosity. "hmmm....gee I don't know Allen. Where do you think you could sleep." She said with a playful smile as she waited for a response from Allen.

Allen had already looked around and at this question instinctively and against better judgment looked towards her bed but quickly turned away sporting a blush on his face. Yet not quick enough for it to go unnoticed by the room's owner. Teasing him was just too much fun and was quickly becoming one of her new favorite games. "Oh Allen you dirty boy. You want to spend the night in **my **bed. You're horrible...tee hee haahaa."

Quick to protest against this even thought that was the thought which had crossed his mind. "NO! I was just thinking...and...I was trying to...find...uh...I didn't really say-"

"Okay!" Road hopped onto the bed and bounced with her landing. She got on her knees and continued to bounce on the springy mattress. "I just hope you don't try to take advantage of me or anything. But I know you would never do anything like that Allen so I trust you. So if you should get closer in the middle of the night and your arm happens to drape over me I won't think anything of it hehehhee."

"Um thank you Road for that...*cough amount of trust but I have to decline. I'm sorry. Uh is it okay if I just uh sleep on the floor?"

Road pouted at that and her bouncing ceased. She sighed "It's fine Allen. I see how it is. You can't keep her hands off me so your afraid of being in the same bed. You really are horrible." This was so much fun for her teasing him. She had to struggle to keep a serious face at this.

Allen again became flustered although to a lesser degree than before. Road cut him off with her laughter "I am only messing with you. It's fine Allen. You can use my stuffed animals as a bed of sorts."

She had like a mountain of these so it wasn't a bad idea. He didn't even need to make a bed just flop backwards into a pile of soft, furry, figures and was quickly asleep.

XXXXXX

Allen's dream that night had been similar to the night before yet Road was absent this time. The same forest. The same lake. The same eerie sinister moon hanging in the sky. And a shadow of himself in the lake itself.

Allen didn't hesitate this time when the mirror version of himself held out it's hand as if waiting for Allen's. Allen gave it willingly and again like before the water wash swirled with his hand.

The image that played before him this time was one from very long ago. One....he had nearly forgotten.

Guzol and Lala. Allen's very first mission as an exorcist had been to retrieve the innocence from a town that had been abandoned for over 500 years. He found that the innocence was now the heart of a doll named Lala who had been living in this abandoned city all this time. Her purpose of singing for humans was now wasted away with disuse. She was unwanted. Unneeded. Yet she was just a doll. She wasn't real.

When Guzol as a child came to her he was the only human for hundreds of years who wanted to hear her sing. It made her happy. It gave her purpose.

Guzol never left Lala. He stayed by her side his entire life together in that town. Alone, but together. Guzol had grown old and was dying when Allen arrived. All Lala wanted was to be by Guzol's side until he died. To sing for him until the end. It wasn't the request of a doll...but of a human...someone with a soul...someone who could love and cry and feel.

Allen wanted to honor her final wish but Kanda was against it. In order to Allow it Allen offered to sacrifice himself to give them their wish. He would destory the akuma chasing them at the cost of his own life. The akuma came during this and ripped out Lala's heart.

Allen won the ensuing battle with the akuma and placed the innocence back into the doll known as Lala so she could carry out her final wish....but it wasn't Lala who came to life then. No, it was just an empty doll. No emotion, no life, just an empty husk as it was when it first activated. As it was before it met...Guzol. Lala was dead and this was just an empty doll. She didn't remember Guzol...nor anything at all. She treated him as a stranger yet Guzol said "I love you...Lala." Seeing he was tired the doll once known as Lala offered to sing him a lullaby.

For three days and three nights she sang to him as Allen waited for Guzol to pass on and her singing to cease. Allen had failed to help her fulfill her wish because it wasn't really Lala that was singing to Guzol. No, that was just a doll with no memories and no emotions. It was sad because in a way she was fulfilling her wish yet in reality she wasn't really because she herself had disappeared forever and Guzol was left to die alone with only the voice of the doll he had once loved known as Lala. He died alone without her.

Guzol had deactivated her right before he died and her singing stopped. When Allen came to check upon hearing this. He couldn't help but cry...because he had failed the both of them. He cried for them. Allen thought he heard Lala thank him for letting her fulfill her last wish but...he knew that wasn't true and hearing that made him cry all the harder.

"An exorcist is a destroyer not a protector" Kanda had said. Despite that Allen had wanted to be destroyer that protects. And at this moment he had failed. That was what he wanted despite knowing Kanda was right. That such incidence as this would continue to occur and there was nothing Allen could do to stop it.

"I want to be a destroyer that protects." Allen had said

XXXXXX

Allen awoke in a pile a stuffed toys to Road shaking him awake wearing a nightgown. "Quick Allen hide in here and please stay quiet."

Road shoved Allen into her closet.

Allen had no idea what was going on but he didn't have to wait long to figure it out as he heard a familiar voice.

XXXXXX

Tyki cracked his neck slightly as he lit up a cigerette on his way to get Road for breakfast. _That girl can sure be a pain sometimes._ Tyki's skin was still gray ever since Allen had stabbed him with his high level purification sword. Tyki wanted to cut his hair short again but Road hated the idea and threatened terrible things if he did so. As such he let it stay as is.

Taking a casual drag from the cigarette as he strolled down the lush hall of the mansion towards Roads room. He called out to Road from beyond the door and gave it two soft knocks. "Hey Road...you up yet. Come on downstairs breakfast is ready. You know your dad doesn't like it when you sleep in and miss breakfast. He worries about you and annoys the hell out of me about it so move."

Tyki waited to hear a response but got none except for the sounds of feet hurrying around the room. "Road?" Tyki put his hand to the doorknob and his stomach began to burn painfully. In the same spot as where he had been stabbed by Allen. He had to stop and clutch at his phantom wound. This wasn't right.

Tyki opened the door and found Road standing There smiling but as he entered the room he found the painful sensation of the stab wound grow stronger. He bit down and endured it as it wasn't that bad plus he didn't want to make Road worried. "Road what are you doing? Why didn't you answer?"

"Tyki I am old enough to be considered a woman and you shouldn't be barging into a ladies room like that. Plus you shouldn't ask personal questions like that about a girl. We need our privacy."

Tyki just stood there and stared down at her. The cigarette hanging in his mouth. The smoke wafting from it as he looked puzzled and confused at her simply motionless. "......uh huh" He scratched the top of his head as he shrugged slightly with exasperation. Tyki began to look around her room and as he did so the phantom wound sensation grew stronger and he knew something was up.

"What are you doing Tyki? Didn't I just tell you it's not nice to invade a girl's privacy."

"Yes you said that. But you never leave me alone and give me my privacy when I'm reading so it's all fair."

Tyki found nothing of interest but gauged Road's reaction as he went around the room. She just kept watching him so she definitely had something to hide. As Tyki got Closer to the closet that phantom wound sensation grew stronger than ever. As he went to check it Road began hitting him with both fists in a childish manner. "You're invading my personal space. NO FAIR! You can't do that."

Turning around and looking down at her, hand still on the closet door and cigarette still smoking in his mouth. He merely looked at her calmly then "Oops." Tyki flung the door open with out actually looking at it. "Look at that. Sorry about that Road."

Tyki than looked inside and well....the cigarette dropped out of his mouth as he stared at a smiling and waving Allen Walker. "heh heh...uh...hi."

XXXXXX

**PLEASE REVIEW! Hell I want to update this as soon as possible so no joke here sorry guys. Next chapter will be better although probably not as humorous. And yes all questions will be answered.**


	7. I Need More Smokes

**Sorry I would have had this uploaded yesterday but wasn't letting me upload it for some reason. They were probably doing site maintenance or something. So sorry about me not getting this to you guys sooner. **

**Very special shout out to: XxveryrandomxX, Zakath1, Cross the Damned Soul, Orchamus and Book Thief101 and anybody else I might have missed, you guys know who you are. You guys have left me the best reviews and have reviewed all the chapters I have posted thus far. You guys are the best and help to keep me writing this story. You each are granted one wish, ask in the review. I'll see what I can do.**

**Thought of the day: _If you're a nudist and you get mugged. What the hell was the guy thinking of stealing???_ **

XXXXXXX

There was a moment where time just kind of stood there hanging in the air doing nothing along with everyone else. The cigarette still lit and burning on the floor being the only sign that time was in fact still moving forward despite the three in the room failing to move with it as it seemed.

Tyki just stood open mouthed staring at Allen Walker who was in Road's closet of all places. How Tyki managed to retain his poise and grace with his mouth hanging open is a amazing an possibly a trait unique to him but he pulled it off.

Allen was thinking this could go two ways: Tyki would have a normal reaction to having found a boy in your female relatives room. Or he could just outright kill him because he was an enemy....or any combination of the two really. The possibilities of variation of those two options were astounding.

Tyki's mind finally managed to start back up after a complete system failure as it were. He merely turned to Road, "What are you doing with a boy in your room? I mean seriously Road what the heck!?"

Tyki put out the cigarette on the floor by grinding it with the heel of his foot as he pulled another one out and lit it up without missing a beat in his lecture. "I mean really? Are you just at that phase where you are trying to rebel against your elders or something? Cause if your dad found him well...."

Tyki shook his head at this point just considering it while taking a drag from his newly lit cig. It was an unpleasant thought. "And that's not even considering the fact he's an exorcist. Of all people it's the cheating boy. I know you have a thing for him but come on! I don't even know where to start with how wrong this is *sigh." He exhaled the rich smoke from his lungs at this.

"I don't know whether to kill him for being an exorcist or for...." He just looked Road up and down as she stood in her nightgown just blinking at him innocently in wonder of what he was thinking. He wondered how to put it tastefully. "....For....for making you a woman....is that even what happened here?" He finished with slouching his head to the side, letting it hang there as he side and took another drag from the cigarette.

Tyki got a unified "NO!" from both Allen and Road. The latter of the two spoke before Allen could get a word in edgewise which might have been good because he was lightly sweating out of fear and embarrassment. "Nothing like that happened Tyki *humph. You are such a perv. And I am a woman anyway even without doing THAT."

Tyki just stared at her with boredom on his face then turned his head to look at Allen who stayed rooted to his spot awaiting judgment. "Uh..huh. Then what the heck is he doing in your room Road and is there a reason I shouldn't kill him?" As he said this he reached down and unconsciously rubbed the phantom wound that was now aching stronger than ever.

Road clasped her hands together in a pleading manner and tried to use the innocent act. This could work to her benefit as she had been wondering how to allow Allen to join without him...well.....being killed immediately before anything could be said. And this was a gradual like she wanted. Tyki could help and that's why she was now putting on the show.

With the innocent pleading act on she looked like a child begging her parents to let her keep a puppy she found. "PLEASE Tyki before I say anything you can't tell anyone about this yet because I know it will sound hard to believe but it's REALLY REALLY important to me PWEASE" Road batted her lashes giving the cute eyes effect.

"I'm getting bored." Tyki was completely un-phased.

Allen interrupted at this moment. "I want to end this world so....I want to help the Earl. Since that is your goal afterall."

"What!?" Tyki said with a deadpan voice. He was completely dumbfounded at hearing this and again the cigarette slipped from his lips and headed to the floor. Tyki caught it this time but thought to himself as he slipped it back in his mouth and pulled out the pack of cigarettes to inspect how many he had, _I'm gonna need more cigs I can just tell._

Road tried to help convince him while gradually inching her way between Allen and Tyki should Tyki just outright kill the boy on a whim. "It's true Tyki. Allen wants to join us!"

Tyki couldn't help but think out-loud, "This is ridiculous. Exorcists don't just....switch sides."

Road responded Hastily, "That Suman guy did!"

Tyki rubbed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes in frustration. "That was because he was threatened with DEATH! What did you do kidnap the cheating boy and threaten him with the same. Because otherwise there's no reason even to consider this. He could just be a spy and we have no need for him."

"Tyki, Allen has been through a lot and after he learned about...." She turned and looked at Allen quickly before continuing. "The 14th. Things began to...unravel for him and-"

Allen interrupted her at this point, showing backbone which had remained dormant since Tyki entered. "Learning about the 14th brought everything I believed in. Everything I lived for. Into question. Everything that I had been living for in the order. All that I had fought for. All of it....didn't matter in the end. No matter how hard I try I can't save everyones souls. Even if the akuma were gone I still....still couldn't do anything. It's not just akumas' souls that need saving...what about the living?.....That's why....that's why I want to end this world....to end EVERYTHING and everyone. So all can be at peace . No more suffering. That's the only way I can save the souls of those who suffer. Akumas shells aren't the only thing that need to be broken to free suffering souls. Human bodies need to be destroyed as well to free their souls from suffering."

Tyki raised an eyebrow at this. _I knew I'd need more cigarettes but now it's a guarantee. _"Soooo.....you just came to this conclusion on your own huh. And then you came waltzing to Road asking her for help. Is that about right?"

Road, who was bouncing up and down she was so excited, "No I helped him come to that conslusion....well...sort of. ISN'T IT AWESOME! Now Allen can play with me whenever I want!"

"What Road means to say is she was there for me when I was....contemplating these issues and dealing with my depression if that's an appropriate term for what I was feeling. Although I think it falls far short."

Road now had her hands laced around Allen's neck as she was bouncing up and down."Yeah! That's right!" She now added nodding her head to the roller-coaster of momentum she was now exerting.

Tyki still had difficulty dealing with this idea. "So then....that means I can't kill him then right?"

managing the impossible Road began shaking her head even harder signifying yes.

Road did vouch for him but still. It's just....how the heck do you deal with a concept like this so fast. I mean all of a sudden he's suppose to just welcome this kid with open arms or something? Come on. Tyki figured it was some kind of trick or something by the exorcists and if it was the earl would figure it out and stomp it into dust. But if it wasn't.......well this was just plain amusing honestly. Road would quit pestering him now since she would have a 'new toy' as it were. Though how long it would last is anybodies guess. Plus to be honest with himself, Tyki rather liked the boy himself. The boy showed such skill, even if it was cheating, with the game of cards. Which brought him to his final and perhaps most important reason for accepting all this.

"So I can't kill you cheating boy. You know what that means don't you?......Rematch time!" As if by magic Tyki slid both his hands forward and up holding up half a deck of cards in each hand, each card displayed face forward while Tyki smiled maliciously.

Allen returned the smile with equal fervor and just as much sinister aura behind it. Perhaps the only time Allen truly looked evil was when he was playing cards.

Tyki definitely was going to enjoy a rematch and that alone was enough to keep the cheating boy aka Allen's presence from the Earl and the other Noah....at least for now. If the boy was trouble then they would take care of it.

Tyki might have been better off playing a board game though.

XXXXXXX

**I knew shortening up the chapters would be a good idea. See you get a new chapter so soon after my last update. Nice right. Next chapter: It's Road's turn to play with Allen and they have a playmate help. Is it Tyki? Lulu-bell? HELL NO!....well maybe. And you'll find out why I am burying these strippers. Are they Sugar n' Sweet and Lollipop? Am I the type to kill them and despose of the bodies? Who knows, you'll have to come back to find out and most importantly REVIEW PLEASE.**


	8. The Strangest Day

**I would like to state right now that I have noticed that in an issue of D Gray Man it shows Krory awake to hear the news of Allen being the 14th. I noticed this just now and I find it odd since he was not shown to have recovered from his injuries nor shown having regained his consciousness. He just stands there in the panel and I find this strange. The story has made no mention of his improvement in his condition so if someone thinks that I have made a mistake on Krory still being out of the picture you are half-mistaken. Since Krory's condition appears to be still in a comatose like state and the only source that he is not is shown in a panel I can't really rely on that . Plus I didn't notice it when I first started writing this story. So I don't want people thinking I am incompetent about the source material. I do research on the material before I write it to make it as accurate as possible. So if there is a mistake of some sort I apologize and it is probably something I missed because I can't go over ALL the issues of D Gray man everytime I write a chapter. I do my best and want to assure everyone of my effort to remain true to the canon source on which this story is based.**

**With that said on a more light-hearted note I recommend if you have some time to kill you reread **

**issues 158 "The Evil Flower – 170 "10 Days Later" (or just 158 as it's the most important) If you look close you will see them foreshadow what has occurred in my story and what is to come in the future. (Allen has acquired a sweet tooth for candy it seems hmmm....who else likes candy?) You can see that I stay very faithful to the source material as I write this fanfiction.**

**Sugar N' Sweet: Less talkie more diggie. (she flips a page of the magazine she is reading.)**

**I am the only one here digging a grave for these dead strippers so what are you complaining about?**

**Sugar N' Sweet: because if you have the time to rant about your useless facts and promotions than it could be spent digging so we can leave.**

**She is referring to the two dead hookers that I now have to bury....some of you out there thought it was Sugar N' Sweet and Lollipop I was burying....shame on you people! **

**Lollipop: (sitting on the trunk of the car happily humming and swinging her legs) NOPE! Wasn't us!....These gals were undercover cops and-**

**We don't need to bore them witht the entire story. Anyway as I was saying, do I seem like the kind of person who would do such a thing to these woman?....**

**Lollipop: (is about to say something but is cut off)-**

**-That's a rhetorical question don't answer that!**

**Lollipop: (She closes her mouth with a smile) **

**But yes as she says they were sting operatives and well....I have A LOT of issues with cops and I HATE sting operations. So thus the dead hookers...strippers...whatever the hell they were. Yet again I found out thanks to the two on the trunk WHO AREN'T DOING ANY WORK!**

**(Both ignore me)**

**Yeah well they kindly pointed out that these two were far too well dressed for strippers......and trust me that is something only a real stripper would know. I cannot begin to comprehend the difference in the science behind a thong and a G-string yet these girls have it down to an art....and appearently the part time ho ho po po's (police for those who aren't street slang literate) Don't know the difference. Well anyway thanks again girls for pointing it out to me.**

**Sugar N' Sweet:Whatever.....you called them ho's.....they were pretending to be strippers.**

**What's the difference?? (SEVERE BEATDOWN GIVEN BY Sugar N' Sweet)**

**it was a joke....why...WHY!! do you punish me so! What the hell are you reading anyway!**

**Sugar N' Sweet: (resumes flipping through her magazine)**

**is that a playboy??? Why do you have a playboy?**

**Sugar N' Sweet: Clothes shopping.**

**But they are barely wearing anything at all!**

**Sugar N' Sweet: (just stares at me)**

**......yeah....right....never mind. Stupid of me to ask. Where the hell did you get that anyway? I don't have any of those. (continues digging despite injuries)**

**Sugar N' Sweet: Yeah I've noticed you homo! Geez. You've never even tried to make a move on either one of us. The most excitement I've gotten out of you was when you tied us up and blew up our strip club.**

**Lollipop: *sigh...(has dreamy stars in her eyes) That was soooo awesome. It made me warm all over. *sigh**

**Sugar N' Sweet: Point is ever since then you haven't shown any interest in the opposite sex like....at all! I mean You don't even have a playboy lying around or something you must be gay.**

**......What....The....Hell? There are so many things wrong with that I don't even know where to start. Uh first, No. I'm not gay. Second...I've got better things to do thing demean myself by hitting on girls. I've got more class in the way I do things. I just don't do things like that. Third you make it sound like you WANT me to ogle you or something.**

**Sugar N' Sweet:..........N....never said that....I just think it's weird is all.**

**(just stares at her while I'm holding a shovel standing in a hole with two dead strippers/hookers/whatever).....I get the feeling we need group therapy or something??? (Says this as he continues digging the grave)**

**Sugar N' Sweet: While he finishes of the grave and contemplates the idea of getting couples..er...group therapy...whatever the hell! You can read the next chapter of whatever the heck he's writing while we wait for him to finish**

**It would go faster if you would HELP!**

**Sugar N' Sweet:NO!**

**Lollipop:Nah!**

Thought of the day: The difference between a sex goddess and a slut is respect. One has it the other doesn't. ~Quote owned by Wolf

Disclaimer: I don't own D Gray Man though

XXXXXXX

Needless to say Tyki had been destroyed, trounced, hosed, cheated, swindled, conned, and all in all completely beaten by Allen despite the numerous rounds they played. Tyki was just happy they hadn't been playing for money, thank god. Otherwise he would be....well, very broke.

Again Tyki had been reduced to nothing but his underwear but what was worse was he had put his pack of smokes on the line in order to keep playing. _I knew I was going to need more smokes. Dammit, how does that kid do it. I know he's cheating but I can't catch him. _

Allen returned Tyki's clothes after Tyki folded and submitted to defeated although unhappily. Grumbling as he left the room, "Come on Road, breakfast. Remember? We can't keep your dad waiting any longer."

"Yay Allen get's to meet daddy!" Taking hold of Allen's arm and running down the hall past Tyki while dragging Allen behind. Tyki didn't bat an eyelash at this and continued his calm trek down towards breakfast. He did note however that in Road's rush that she had forgot to change out of her nightgown.

The bottom floor had rich wooden floors that were polished and shined with an vibrant grace. The color of the walls matched the rather calming effect the floor had. White, despite not the most original choice, had a very warming effect when combined the the pristine waxed wooded floors. Fine carpets here and there and numerous antiques and knick-knacks that if Allen weren't being pulled along, he would note were probably very expensive.

There was not a speck of dust anywhere. The entire house was spotless, it was almost otherworldly how perfect it was. Such an atmosphere of perfection was naturally very expensive and it showed. Not with valuable gold, diamonds, or other such things which shimmer and shine (although they were most likely present in the house somewhere.) No, with the simple atmosphere the house created. Devoid of anything which upset the magic that the environment and sunlight which glinted off smooth and spotless surfaces. It was a sense of peace and familial warmth which permeated the house, not a sense of wealth and power. But it was obvious such things were necessary to maintain such a home.

Sitting at the rather large dining room table, Sheryl Kamelot's head was supported by his fist in a rather bored fashion. The meal was set out for five with Sheryl seated at the head. Breakfast consisted of eggs, toast, pancakes, sausage and other goods available. To his left sat his wife, Tricia, and next to her was the house maid, Julia, who doubled as Tricia's personal servant. Tricia was ill and as such required assistance and an aid to ensure her well being. It was simply a precaution Sheryl had said. She seemed well enough but tired quickly and often needed rest.

The food which was set out before them remained untouched as they had been waiting for Road and Tyki to arrive before starting. It was rude otherwise. Sheryl was growing concerned as the food was starting to get cold. Tyki had left before breakfast was even finished being prepared so it was unusual for something like this to take so long.

Tricia seemed to be thinking the same thing as she spoke up. "Sheryl what do you think is taking Tyki so long? I think you should go check on them."

Sheryl gave her a reassuring smile, "I am sure there's nothing to be concerned about. You know how Road can be a handful at times and she is probably just giving Tyki trouble is all. Girls her age need to be given their space so I don't think I should intrude. It's nothing Tyki can't handle."

Tricia still didn't seem convinced, "I don't know..."

Sheryl took her hand in his own and gave it a soft kiss, "Trust me. Tell you what, we'll give them five more minutes then I'll see what's keeping them."

It was only two minutes until one of two expected guests arrived trailing an unfamiliar one.

Sheryl immediately got that warm feeling in his heart when he saw his daughter as she entered the room, yet this feeling was amplified as she was still wearing her nightgown. Sheryl got a slight nosebleed from the sight. _Too....cute....._ were his thoughts. He really loved his family. However what trailed behind her caused him to sit upright. His attention focused and curiosity peaked. Tricia also seemed puzzled as to who this stranger was that Road was pulling along.

"DAAAADDDY!!! MOM!!" The blue haired girl ran up and gave her father a hug which reacted in the nosebleed he had just stopped. Road then gave her mother a hug but before she could finish her mother asked the question which was on everyones mind. "Who is this boy Road? What's going on...and why are you still in your PJ's?" (well all except the last part was on everyone's mind)

With excitement in her eyes and energy shaking her body with excitement she quickly skipped back to Allen's side and pulled him in front of her father. "Daddy this is Allen, he's.....a friend of mine. He's going to be staying with us for a while I hope that's alright. I also need to talk to you later about stuff regarding that. He needs to meet with the Earl if you know what I mean."

Tricia and Julia didn't detect what Road meant by the last part but Sheryl did as not just anyone met with the Earl. Sheryl knew picked up Road's hidden message that there was more here than she let on and couldn't be discussed in front of the others. _She's such a smart girl. I'm so proud of her._

Allen had one thought which overshadowed the others in his head at the moment, _Daddy??? Road....with parents???....well of course she has parents I just....never really pictured her with them._ It was all very strange to Allen but it fit perfectly with the recent string of unusualness that had occurred in the past Couple of days.

Allen adapted to the moment rather quickly as the situation required it. He extended his hand in greeting. "H..Hello Mr...uh...Kamelot. I'm sorry to interrupt your morning meal and appear like this so early in your home. The circumstances were sort of our of my hands and it couldn't be helped I'm afraid."

Sheryl accepted Allen's hand and took note of the firm handshake. Not weak or without resolve. No lack of confidence. He gaged these things from the strength of the handshake as any business man should be capable of doing. Sheryl percieved Allen's formal behavior, _He has good manners I am __happy to see that. He seems like a nice young manner with a good head on his shoulders from what I can tell. Name seems a bit familiar....but...I can't remember where...._ Sheryl wondered about Allen's white hair and scarred eye but didn't mention it as it was impolite to bring up such things so suddenly. He didn't want to embarrass Road in front of her new friend....That was what he was right? That Alone was strange as Road NEVER had any real friends. It was rare to see her with another her age and It made Sheryl happy to see his daughter might have finally found a friend.

"It's very nice to meet you Allen." He gave him a gentle and warm smile. "This situation is quite strange but we can discuss it over breakfast. Would you like to join us?"

"Uh..I wouldn't want to impose on you-" Allen was interrupted by his one true master: his stomach. Which was now bellowing at the insubordination his slave was displaying at refusing a meal.

Allen laughed with embarrassment while rubbing the back of his head. "Heh...um...well if it's not to much trouble I would greatly appreciate it sir."

"Of course. Julia would you be a dear and see what you can do about setting up a meal for our guest here."

"Of course sir." Julia said with a slight nod. She rose and retreated to the kitchen to do as requested.

Allen and Road took a seat next to Sheryl on the other side of the table. It was at this time that Tyki arrived since his pace was more causal than the one Road had set.

Sheryl greeted his brother, "Ah Tyki, what kept you?"

"That would be the cheating boy that's sitting next to you. But if you're referring to me arriving later than Road and her friend that would be because I practice an art that has been lost on Road. It's called walking."

"Well she's just happy to have her friend over that's all. It's good that she has all that energy, we wouldn't want her to turn out like her cousin Xadi."

Tricia shivered a bit at hearing the name of her nephew in law. "....Yes....he has a point Tyki."

Tyki didn't respond, instead he pulled a chair out and sat down to his meal. Tyki didn't have the good grace to refrain from eating until Allen was served as the others had. He just jumped right in. He wasn't in a good mood. His clothes had been returned but Allen had kept his pack of cigarettes for use in possible future games Tyki might challenge him to. Tyki was not happy with this and it seemed he was already suffering from nicotine withdrawal even this early.

Tyki didn't let it show on his face but he suddenly had a jolt of inspiration on how to get back at the cheating boy. He nonchalantly continued his conversation with Sheryl from before. "But the specific reason I am late is because I found Allen in Road's room when I went to get her. There were some loud noises and such."

Sheryl's good mood died that moment as if it had been on a hunting trip with Dick Cheney and had been shot in the face repeatedly with a shotgun. All the pieces that had been puzzling him fell into place at that moment and answered the question of why she was still in her nightgown. "He....He was.....in....her.....room???" He said with some trepidation. Tricia feared the worse as well but seemed to deal with it much better than her husband.

"Actually I found him hiding in her closet. She was trying to keep him a secret or something. I can't imagine why." Tyki said in between mouthfuls of food. It was impolite to open your mouth while eating after all.

_Nightgown....loud noises...her room...a secret...at that age....a boy...._ Yep all the pieces fit together to form a stick of explosive dynamite exploding on some poor mother #$$%^# with white hair.

Sheryal turned his head slowly towards Allen, his eye twitching but his features otherwise unchanging end emotionless. Allen could swear he saw lighting and fire flash behind Mr. Kamelot and a wicked aura promising intense pain permeated the air and was directed at him. All Allen thought was _ANOTHER KOMUI!!!_

with a struggle in his voice to keep it casual, "You know Allen....usually one should meet the parents **before** he SLEEPS WITH THEIR DAUGHTER!!!" finishing with a shout as he pulled a ridiculously massive sword from under the table and swung it at where Allen had previously been sitting.

"Where did he get that sword...Where did you get that sword AHHH....I SWEAR SIR IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" This fell on deaf ears

"AAAAHHHHHHHHH" brandishing the sharp instrument which gleamed with promises of malice and malevolence, Sheryl chased Allen in what can only be described as 'a berserker frenzy.' Complete with feral drool finding it's why down the side of his mouth as Sheryl chased Allen swinging the sword wildly in an attempt to cleave the boy that dared touch his precious, sweet, innocent, darling, flower, Road. Being a father meant also being delusional it comes with the job

All the while the only comprehendable sound came from Allen, the shouts "WHERE DID HE GET THAT SWORD." That was followed by "IT'S A FAMILY HEIRLOOM!"

Tyki didn't pause his meal at this, rather he took it as breakfast with a show and enjoyed the entertainment and vindication that went with his food.

Road meanwhile tried to stop her father. Her pleas were ignored and her frantic waving of her arms to dissuade her father were to no avail.

Allen couldn't help but think _He's exactly like Komui...oh god why!!? _Allen tried everything to get his persuer to desist, even throwing chairs in his path. Finally and surprisingly it was when The two passed by Road yet again that the chasing ceased as she ran up to her father."DADDY NO!!" followed by a small yet swift kick to Sheryl's shin.

As sad as it is surprising this stopped him in his tracks as he dropped the deadly tool to clatter to the ground as he bent down and clutched his wounded shin. Tears in his eyes, he was more hurt by the fact it had been Road who had done it then anything else. "Road...why!??"

"Daddy nothing happened. Stop trying to kill him. Tyki thought the same thing. I didn't think you were a pervert like him."

Sheryl's world seemed to shatter around him into tiny, tiny pieces at these words. _Didn't think you were a pervert...pervert...pervert...pervert........_

"OH baby girl, daddy is not a pervert!" He was on his knees and had his arms wrapped around her, weeping into her shoulder as she gently patted his back while looking straight ahead. An expression of dignified superiority and parental understanding graced her face as she did so. Allen found it a very, very strange sight.

Road than directed her frustration on Tyki who was still eating breakfast calmly. "And you! You did that on purpose didn't you!?"

"Do what? I have no idea what you are talking about." Tyki wiped his mouth with a napkin.

Tracia saw through this however as she seemed to recover quicker than her husband from the suspicious light that had been cast on Road. She spoke so only the two of them could hear, "You and I both know that not to be true. That was very clever but what did that boy do that would upset you so?"

Tyki whispered "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Could it be you are just like your brother and are worried about Road? It seems like your parental instincts are coming into play." She said with a small hint of amusement in her voice.

Tyki said nothing at this and merely waited for her to continue. What kind of response do you give to that, no. That doesn't work. So he waited.

"You know Sheryl mentioned to me that he thought you should find a nice girl and get settled down and seeing this I am thinking he might be right."

"Sorry but that's not it. I'm just petty at the moment that's all."

Julia took this moment to enter the room carrying what was suppose to be Allen's breakfast. "Did I miss something?"

While she was lost at the scene of Master Kamelot on his knees crying Timcampy took the opportunity to chow down on Allen's breakfast.

XXXXXX

This was definitely the strangest day Allen had ever had. He was certain that had anyone told him what was going to happen he wouldn't have believed them.

After breakfast Allen had been nagged by Road to "Come play with me!" which of course got a suspicious look directed at him from Sheryl Kamelot. After many pleas from Road he finally submitted to her girlish, innocent charm and agreed.

Now finding himself in the wooded grounds behind the manor where the greenery and bark provided good cover for the game of tag Road had chosen much to Allen's relief. All that had occurred today wasn't what made it the most odd of all days. No, it was that Road had chosen a third participant to join in the game.

"It's no fun if it's only two people playing tag after all," she had said. Which is what lead Allen to his current activity which he participated in only half-heartedly partly out of strange curiosity and also because it made Road genuinely happy and that was oddly gratifying to Allen.

He observed the scene before him watching as Road (who was now 'it') chased after the third participant of their game, Byraki, attempting to tag him, both laughing and smiling. Allen watched while ignoring the pain in his left eye which went wild when he looked at Byraki. Because Byraki was an Akuma.

Allen's cursed eye throbbed and he felt a little sick just looking in Byraki. His innocence in his arm was screaming at every fiber in his being to attack and the disgusting sight before his eye only added further incentive to destroy what was before him. Allen could see the sorrow and pain of Byraki's soul as clearly as if it were his own.

Such a sight was usually enough to drive him to destroy an Akuma but he ignored the pain his eye caused him and the impulses of his innocence. That was no longer his path anymore, remember.

The other thing that gave him the strength to ignore these intense feelings was what he was seeing right now: an akuma laughing and playing.

XXXXXX

_Flashback_

When Road had first introduced Allen to Bryant he had seen through his disguise instantly with his eye. Byraki. wore the form of a little boy a good couple years younger than Road with dirty blond hair. He had brown eyes which were filled with curiosity just like any other little boy's. He had a warm happy smile for Allen when he met him and offered his hand forward in greeting like Road had taught him.

Allen had to grab at his eye at the intense pain he felt upon suddenly seeing Byraki which caused the young boy to lose his smile to a frown of concern as he turned from Allen to Road in a look as if to say 'what's wrong?'

Road had been upset at seeing Allen's reaction. She knew he would see through Byraki but had hoped it wouldn't hurt him like it usually did. She knew that had been wishful thinking but this was something that had to be done. Allen needed to come to terms with his feelings for the akuma and learn to cope with the pain his cursed eye caused him. Road knew that but that wasn't the reason she had chosen Byraki.

Allen too knew he needed to overcome the agony his eye caused him if he were to follow this path of his.

"Road-sama what's wrong with him?" Byraki had asked, genuine concern in his voice. If this was someone master Road wanted him to meet he was sure it was someone he would like."

"Allen here is very special Byraki. His eye let's him what you're hiding from him. He can see you aren't just another human."

Byraki's mouth dropped open a bit as surprise took him. "...he...he can see me then?"

"Yep! That's right."

Byraki turned to look at Allen who was doubled over clutching his eye and clenching his teeth.

Allen wasn't sure what to make of the situation. "Road...what are you doing? Why is he here?"

Road still looked a bit sad but tried to smile for Byraki. "He's going to be playing with us Allen."

"Wh...what are you talking about? This boy...everything about him is all just an act."

Now it was Road's turn to be confused as Byraki just stood there trying to catch up to the situation. "What do you mean Allen?"

"Everything about this boy...his appearance, his feelings. None of it is real. This feels like some kind of trick."

a look of realization dawned upon Road's face whereas Byraki merely looked hurt.

"Is that what you think Allen? That they don't have feelings? How do you know that? You can see Akuma's souls but do you ever just see what's right in front of you?"

Allen stopped at that, seeing the bit of truth in her words. He tried to ignore the soul that was hovering near the boy and tried to focus instead on the being that held the soul. Really it was the first time he had ever tried such a thing.

As Allen looked at the boy he saw shame in Byraki's eyes as he tried to avoid Allen's gaze by looking towards the ground. His eyes briefly looking up to meet Allen's every once and while. Byraki broke the silence

"Am I really so disgusting that you need to hold your eye? Does looking at me hurt that much?"

Allen was dumbfounded at this. Byraki sincerely looked hurt and ashamed. This was the first time Allen had ever had a conversation with an akuma knowing what it was. Byraki was aware his secret was exposed and wasn't hiding anything from Allen anymore as Allen suspected. Allen was used to Akuma's lying and deceiving people. How did he know the boy wasn't doing that right now? The emotions Allen saw there in the boy seemed so....real.

But then Allen realized something. He couldn't tell when humans were deceiving him either when they smiled or said kind words. Sometimes those were lies and Allen couldn't tell. The fact was you could never truly know whether a human was being honest and sincere with you. That was no different with akuma, you couldn't tell the difference.

This thought and hearing Byraki's words made Allen's heart ache and a pang of guilt stab his stomach conflicting with the agony his eye was causing him.

Allen thought back:

To his conversation with Lavi

_What do we really know about the akuma Lavi?_

The night he met Road beside Mana's grave.

_The akuma weren't designed to be weapons Allen. _

_What do I really know about the akuma?...nothing_.

Allen's mind reflected on the hurt and shame in Byraki's eyes. _"Am I really so disgusting that you need to hold your eye? Does looking at me hurt that much?"_

Allen stepped forward, still holding his hand over his throbbing eye, unable to pull it away. He bent down and offered his hand to Byraki. "Sorry about that....it...it's not your fault....so...so don't feel bad okay."

Allen didn't want to lie to Byraki by telling him he wasn't disgusting. That the sight of him didn't make Allen ill and uneasy. But that was the truth and it hurt Byraki knowing this. But that wasn't Byraki's fault, why should he be made to feel horrible about something he had no control over. Yet to lie to the boy to make him feel better that was wrong too....yet another example of how misshapen this world is. There is no right thing to do.

Allen continued, "...it hurts looking at you...but it's not your fault and your not disgusting....it's not your fault."

Allen gave Byraki a smile, his hand still extended in greeting and the other tending his cursed red eye. Byraki looked up at Allen and slowly shook his hand and smiled back at him and as Allen looked at it, removing his hand from his eye to see him full, it really was a beautiful smile despite what his left eye saw.

Allen put his hand on Byraki's shoulder, "If it's okay thought I'd prefer it if you didn't hide your true form. It would make me more comfortable okay."

Byraki looked back at Road with uncertainty and worry. That trademark smile of Road's came forth, "go ahead. It's okay."

Byraki shed his human form and was happy to see that Allen didn't flinch at the sight. And strangely enough Allen thought he could see the soul of the boy smile if for just a second.

_Flashback end._

XXXXXXX

So Allen watched As Byraki chased after Road in his true form as an akuma. both laughing and smiling as the two played. Watching this Allen too couldn't help but smile at the sight and was astounded to see that Byraki's soul was smiling and laughing too. It was truly the strangest day of his life to see what he once considered an abomination and a monster playing and laughing with joy at such an innocent game.

Allen was brought out of his introspective thoughts when he was pounced on by the akuma form of Byraki who tagged his forehead gently announcing "you're it!!" and ran off laughing. Allen was truly amazed at this. Being pounced on like that by Byraki once would have caused him to tense for an upcoming attack yet none came. It was really a strange feeling. He shook these thoughts off though. He wouldn't be it for long!

XXXXXXXX

Sheryl stood on the ground floor balcony overlooking the yard, watching the entire game play out with a calm collectiveness gathered about him. It was near impossible to tell what he was thinking. His face gave nothing away.

Tyki came up next to him muttering something fierce about nicotine withdrawal or something. Following Sheryl's gaze he too began watching the game of tag.

Sheryl spoke first without turning his head, "I thought that boy seemed familiar. He's that exorcist that will become the 14th isn't he? I can't believe it slipped my mind."

"Maybe your just getting old." Tyki said in aggravation. Tyki's grace appearently suffered a blow under withdrawal symptoms.

As if he hadn't heard him, Sheryl moved on to another topic. "I contacted the Earl. He should be here very soon. I'm really not sure what to do about the boy really. In a way I'm glad it isn't up to me since he seems to make Road happy. This way if things don't go well she won't be mad at me. What do you think brother?"

"....I don't know what to think really. A couple of months ago I put a hole in the kid's heart then I found out he isn't dead. That was just strange and now he comes to us asking to join our cause."

"I figured as much. Otherwise why would he be here. Glad to see I'm not getting old as you say I am hmm?"

They continued to watch the game that was being played before them. An air of anticipation hung between the two brothers as both could feel that this was the calm before the storm.

"Why aren't you smoking?" Sheryl said with a smirk.

"Whats with all the questions jeez! Maybe I'm trying to quit ever think of that!"

"No....I think he took your smokes that's what I think."

Tyki merely grunted his response. He wasn't going to give his brother the satisfaction of admitting it.

The two both turned when they heard the glass paned door behind them open.

Tyki bowed while Sheryl gave a warm greeting, "Ah my lord. Thank you so much for gracing us with your presence on such short notice."

"Think nothing of it. It is not your fault that a situation of such importance has arisen besides I often enjoy visiting you and your lovely family, although I do wish they were under less troubling circumstances."

"Yes but depending on things they could turn out to be fortuitous circumstances, don't you think my lord?"

A regal, dignified figure who's face was masked by shadows from his top hat stepped next to the two. The Earl, in his human form, looked out at the field and took witness to the spectacle. "It is most strange indeed that he should come to us don't you think? Perhaps the 14th has awoken already and is planning another attempt on my life."

Sheryl responded, "That's why I called you here m' lord. I felt you would want to judge the situation your self in person."

"I am glad you did. I've been having those dreams. The ones about the Walker boy and now he appears before me. I can't help but hope that in a way the 14th has come back to us asking for another chance. I know that is just wishful thinking but still....I do miss him so." The Earl wiped something from his eye.

"M' lord."

"I am fine, thank you for your concern Sheryl. I feel it would be best if we allowed things to play out for now, see how things go. If things are truly as The Walker boy claims then that is most fortuitous for us."

XXXXXXX

**Kay I wanted this chapter to go a little longer but you guys have been without a chapter for a while so I am going to cut this one off early so I can get it to you now. So if it feels like this chapter is boring or lacks plot it's because it was cut in half. The rest will be in the next chapter. PLEASE REVIEW. **

**I HAVE A POLL IN MY PROFILE and would appreciate having those of you who enjoy this story come and place your vote. It's in regards to me writing another story. Don't worry though I am not ending this one by any means. I am just considering adding another work to my in progress stories. Please vote.**


	9. An Unusual Meeting and Hugs All Around

Sheryl had approached the three who had been playing. At the sight of him Allen gave him his attention although the game seemed to have continued as Allen was again tackled to the ground by a happy Byraki

"Dog Pile!!" Was all that was heard as Road pounced on top of the two while Sheryl was being completely ignored much to his dismay.

Sheryl coughed alerting them yet again to his presence whilst Road gave him a quizzical look. "Oh daddy? I didn't see you there."

"It's okay. I hope you had fun Road? Byraki?"

Road shook her head vigorously whilst smiling. Byraki smiled while still in his akuma form which to Allen's surprise he actually was able to recognize the expression while he was in that form.

Sheryl broke the disheartening news, "Well that's good but it's seems it's time for you to go home to your parents Byraki. They must be getting worried by now."

"Yes master Kamelot." was his prompt reply while the smile he held moments ago now slipped from his face.

"Awwww." was Road's reply but she knew her father was right but that didn't mean she had to like it.

As Byraki began to walk off Sheryl called after him, "You might want to change back Byraki. That form will bring unwanted attention."

Byraki noticed he was still in akuma form and smiled with embarrassment. Allen was again surprised at how human this monster seemed.

Sheryl made the other announcement. "And Allen, we need you to meet someone in regards to your special circumstances if you understand what I mean. Please follow me."

Byraki transformed back to his human form and ran off heading home. As he did so Allen found himself staring after him, his cursed eye still active. Road hand grasped Allen's shoulder causing him to turn to look at her.

"It's good that you were nice to him. Though akuma can take any human form Byraki really is just a child at that age. In fact the name Byraki belongs to the boy who's skin he wears."

This made a lot of sense to Allen. Allen was really thankful he had been kind because knowing he had hurt a child would have burned his heart with guilt. _A child...is that what I think of Byraki as now?...not an akuma?...not a monster? _

Allen continued to listen, "His name before had been Brian. His best friend of the same age had been the one to call him back, named Byraki. Brian had passed away and his friend was so sad when that happened. I knew him back before he became an akuma. He came to me one day crying about losing his friend Brian. I told him things would be alright but he said 'things will never be alright if you can lose someone important to you.' I didn't have anything to say to that. Because he was right. If he wanted his friend back that badly I would give him the chance. So I told the Earl. The rest you can figure out. Byraki is dead and now Brian is the one wearing his skin and taking his name as well. Luckily Byraki doesn't remember life before becoming akuma. Some do when they reach level 2 but he didn't. It's better this way for him. He doesn't know what he's lost. He knows the parents he's going home to aren't his own but someone else's. He doesn't know what his name was before he became an akuma. He doesn't know that his real parents live right across the street from him. It's easier that way. Less burdening on his heart. In reality all he is is a boy his age. He just wants to play and make friends. To be accepted. But it's hard knowing what he is, knowing that if others knew they would run from him in fear. It probably meant a lot to him that you accepted him you know."

As Allen watched the young boy who would never age a day, who would never really live a normal life run towards a home which wasn't his own. He couldn't help but feel something strange tug at his heart. Something that wasn't there before. He didn't know what it was at the time but it was the dawning of a new perspective.

Turning back towards Road who lacked that trademark smile. Strangely Allen had grown used to her being serious which was strange it being such a short time since he came, less than a day. "I'm glad...he doesn't seem like a monster at all...just a sad boy who can't change the world he lives in. Who can't change what he is."

Road nodded her head much slower than before, a quiet solemn motion now. Taking hold of Allen's hand she led him back towards the mansion. _I'm glad you see him differently Allen. I hope one day soon that you can see the akuma for what they really are...because soon you won't be able to ignore it because...because of the 14__th__._

Allen didn't see it as Road dragged him back to the mansion but her eyes watered slightly.

XXXXXXX

Allen had been led through some dimly lit corridors, each new hall seemed to hold more shadows and less light with each turn until it almost felt like a different building in itself until Sheryal stopped in front of a set of doors in the dark hallway.

"Umm you said there was someone I needed to meet?"

"There is. He's just beyond these doors."

"Sorry if I seem a bit hesitant but what with the atmosphere here and all..heh."

Sheryl gave a light smile, "don't tell me someone who used to belong to something called the 'Black Order' is afraid of the dark."

"heh...you have a point...sorry about that."

Sheryl opened one of the set of doors and allowed Allen entry as Road trailed closely behind him. Her arm was grasped by her father who spoke to both Allen and Road. "I'm afraid this is a meeting meant soley for Allen. You can't come with him Road. I hope you both understand."

Road nodded her head as she began to pout and gave a verbal "AWWWW" which quickly became much quieter noises of disapproval. Allen gave his consent but he didn't truly understand at all.

The door was closed behind Allen and he found himself in a very dark room just as exquisite as all the rooms in the house yet this room felt much more foreboding and unnerving than the others. Perhaps it was the dark. But Allen felt it was because Road wasn't here with him and that thought alone caused him concern. He missed her already? Had he really grown so attached to her? He realized that he had come to depend on her when he choose the path he had. She was his emotional support and that was surprising in itself. She gave him reassurance that this path was the right one. Without her support he would have doubts in himself. He didn't realize till he had been separated from her all this. But there were more pressing matters to attend to at the moment.

In the center of the room a man in distinguished gentleman's attire, complete with top hat, cane, and monocle, sat at a small circular table covered in a white sheet. It was a humble piece of furniture considering the surroundings but still very nice.

As Allen approached the table he couldn't make out the man's face very well because of the dimly lit room yet as he closed in on the table, "Hello. I am assuming you are the one I am supposed to meet. My name is Allen Walker, it's very nice to meet you." Allen extended his hand across the table which he now stood at. The man looked him over at glanced at the hand which had extended itself and shortly thereafter took it in his own gloved hand and laughed lightly in an amused tone. "It is nice to meet one who has such manners. I admit I am slightly surprised at this. I did not know that you had it in you young man."

Allen was slightly puzzled by his statement. "I'm sorry but....have we met before?"

"Yes but not formally. It's nice to be able to talk to you face to face. Would you like some coffee or tea perhaps?"

Allen noticed that there was a cup of coffee in front of the gentleman and he was adding cubes of sugar to it. The containers which held the coffee and presumably tea, sat in the middle of the table along with numerous assortment of items to be added to chosen drink.

"Um no thank you. I'm afraid I wasn't privledged enough to get your name sir? If you would be so kind as to do so please?"

"I'd rather not at this point. You see names work as labels and tend to prevent proper assements to be made. I am hoping to have this chat with you before making it known. I know this is slightly unnerving and I am sorry for that but it is necessary." The gentleman was still adding cubes of sugar to his coffee Allen noticed yet he said nothing at this time.

Allen, Smiling slightly with some mild discomfort, "Well it's nice to know you are aware of that. Um well may I know what it is you wished to meet with me about?" Still the gentleman was adding sugar cubes to his drink _clink clink clink _went the small cubes as they were added.

"Well I will get right to the point. It's about why you are here. We gathered from Road that you have had a change of heart and wish to join us. As I'm sure you can surmise this is very unusual and quite suspicious. An exorcist suddenly betraying his own to join us. It is not the first time it has occurred but it is the first that has occurred without some use of force on our part. A Mr. Suman for example needed to be coerced into participating but little else was needed. It's unheard of for an exorcist to simply join and as such it makes us suspicous as to your true intentions. Would you mind sharing your reasons with me young man."

at the mention of Suman memories of him flashed through Allen's mind and he was reminded of why he joined in the first place and needed little time to think of an answer.

"I...I recently learned that a very important person to me...hid certain things from me. I loved him a great deal and he gave me reason to live. When he died I had nothing and was left with his words of 'keep on walking, no matter what keep on walking until the day you die.' These words and his love are what have guided me through life.-"

Interrupting politely, "Would you mind if I inquired as to this man's name?"

"His name was Mana."

Hearing the name the gentleman became noticably bothered, as he paused midway in placing another sugar cube in his coffee. His hands shaking slightly, all of which Allen noticed.

"Mana...." was the gentleman's quiet voice.

"I found out that....that the 14th was inside me recently. Now I wonder if when Mana said he loved me if he was talking about me or....the 14th....his brother. Everything I'd been living for had been a lie."

The gentleman was staring at Allen intently with a gleam in his eye. Not of menace but of curosity and intrigue.

"Everything I'd lived for had been for Mana and his words. I than looked back at all I'd fought for. All the struggle and pain endured towards the goal of saving the souls of akuma and protecting humans and those I cared about. Looking back I realized...I hadn't made a difference I'd just delayed things is all. I can't protect the souls of the living from this world. I was so intent on saving akuma souls I never stopped to ask 'who will save the souls of the living?' Even if the akuma were all gone things would still be bad and nothing would truly change. People would still cry, hurt one another, suffer, get ill, die, grieve, and kill themselves and one another. I still want to save the souls of the akuma but just now....now I think their condition might be no worse than humans are. That's why I want to end everything. That's the only way I can save everyone's soul, both human and akuma. By putting an end to this world."

"Is that what Road told you?"

"No. That's what I came to realize on my own with Road's help."

The gentleman breathed deeply as the silence hung in the air. He contemplated Allen's words carefully. "I'm sorry to hear that about Mana. Is there anything else you wish to declare?"

"Not that I can think of right now sir."

Nodding his head solemnly the gentleman stood up and gave Allen a hug which caught Allen completely by surprise.

"Wh...what are you doing sir!?"

"I'm sorry that you doubt whether you were ever loved at all. The good side is that it has brought you to realize certain things but still. I am sorry. You've come back home to me 14th."

As Allen's head lay against the gentleman's chest he could hear his heartbeat and felt his chest and breathing tremble a bit. "Sir? Are you only accepting me because of the 14th?"

"No my boy. If you came back to us because of the 14th's influence or not it doesn't matter. The 14th will always be loved by us but...if it was you and not the 14th's influence that brought you here than know that you are loved. There is no way of knowing the truth however. Just know that right now. 14th, Allen Walker, There's no way to tell where one begins and the other ends. Simply know that you are loved right now for who you are. Not knowing the 14th from Allen Walker that is yet another reason to hate this cruel world."

There was a pause as the words sunk in to Allen. They hurt but they also felt good at the same time. To be loved yet not knowing if it was you who was loved...it was a strange feeling.

"You wanted to know who I am?"

Allen looked up and saw the man's face. He didn't recognize it at all.

"I am the same person who brought Mana back to you all those years ago. I am the Millennium Earl my boy."

XXXXXXX

Allen was shocked his face may be different but in his heart he knew the gentleman spoke the truth. This was the Millennium Earl!

Allen was too shocked to move or do anything. His mind froze and he didn't even contemplate the fact of how much danger he was in at the moment. The Earl had him in his hands and could wring his neck at the moment. None of this came to Allen though.

The Earl let go of Allen and looked down at him. "Have you nothing to say my boy?"

Allen's mouth struggled to form words yet no sound came out. His mind remembered how to elicit sound and his voice was found. "I...don't....know...what...to say. It's very hard to accept what has just transpired. I am having difficulty coming to terms with how I feel about it alone."

"Yes I suppose it is a bit much although this is a much better reaction than I was expecting. You continue to surprise me. Excuse me for one moment." The earl looked up towards the ceiling and began talking loudly to apparently no one.

"Road you can come out now! I know you have been watching the entire time." The Earl said in a sing song voice. At these words a door appeared close above the Earl's head and a loud giddy, shrieking voice was heard. Road fell from it and landed by grabbing onto the Earl's shoulders. "Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you." Was all the was heard in between Road kissing the Earl all over the face as she hung from his shoulders in a lavish display of thanks and affection. After which she flew through the air and landed around Allen's neck with a huge smile adorning her features.

The Earl answered Allen's question which laced his face. "I couldn't allow Road to accompany you here because her influence would have made analyzing you and the validity of your statements much more difficult. I needed your thoughts without any outside influence intruding upon it. I am glad I did so because once Road was gone from your side your discomfort was palpable. Of course Road being who she is didn't let that stop her from spying on us."

"NOPE!" She said with a huge grin as she still hung from around Allen's neck.

The Earl had sat back down and resumed his task of adding sugar cubes to his coffee which was still warm. "Her affection for you only complicated matters further and I needed an unaltered analysis of your current thoughts and feelings to surmise your true motives. No offense to young Road here but feelings of affection can often blind a young woman to the truth."

"See Earl thinks of me as a woman. Tyki was being really rude earlier and didn't treat me as a lady at all!" She stated.

The Earl laughed lightly. "By the way Allen. You look very good. It really suits you." The Earl was refering to Allen's current suit and top hat.

"Uh...thank you...sir."

"A gentleman as Always. That's a good trait. Well it's best I get started then." With a snap of his fingers as he finally took a sip of his coffee at which point Allen couldn't help but think _that's way too much sugar. Road must get her taste from him, _ a level 3 akuma appeared and landed with a slight _thud!_ Adorned with tattered clothes and chains which wrapped around his figure and hung loosely. Skull insignias were carved into his abdomen. Quite a disheveled appearance all in all.

"This is Grant." The Earl said parting lips with his cup of coffee. Road was blinking slightly with curiosity as she looked him over not letting up her hold on Allen.

The Earl continued, "He will be accompanying you Allen. As rude as this is we still cannot trust you fully yet. Thus Grant will be at your side until further notice and will report any activity that should confirm our suspicions. Don't think it all bad though." The Earl said as he took another sip from his sweet drink.

"Grant will attend to your every need. Think of him as your personal attendant and servant until further notice. He will be under your command. I also think it's a marvelous way to get your feet wet don't you?"

Allen eye activated instantly at the sight of Grant and the pain of a level 3 was too much for Allen to ignore. A sharp inhale of breath and slight gasp of pain were emitted from Allen as he tried to come to terms with the akuma that stood before him. Allen quickly overcame the pain and stood at ease with his eye activated and a calm look adorning his face yet there was something else in his eye. Compassion?

Allen stepped forward and looked over the level 3 Akuma intently which stood kneeling before him. It spoke when Allen stood before him. "I'm at your command master Walker!" He clearly said with enthusiasm. Allen paused as he merely looked at the akuma who rose his head to meet Allen's gaze. Allen than did something unexpected at that moment. He knelt down in front of Grant, put his arms around him and hugged him.

Allen had tears falling down his face at this point though it was not because of the pain of seeing a level 3. "I'm so sorry..."

The akuma Grant had no idea how to respond to this. He had never been hugged before in his true form. This was all new to him. He stiffened at the contact Allen gave him. _What is he doing?_ He thought

Allen continued, "I'm so sorry that you are suffering so much. I can see it and every fiber of my being wants to help you. But I can't do that yet. We need you to endure it for now so that we can save everyone from suffering like you are. But for now....all I can give you is what you deserve. That is to be treated and loved like a human. I can see the pain and lonliness in your soul. The misery of the lack of love. Before I would have sent you back to god but now...now I am working at something bigger so please forgive me for that. All I can do is give you the love and treatment which you have been lacking and your soul yearns for. I know it isn't much. But I hope it eases your sorrow."

The akuma named Grant saw Allen's tears and heard the sincerity in his voice and then something even more unexpected happened. Grant found tears streaming down his face. _What's this? What's this coming out of my eyes? Wh...What is this feeling? Am...am I crying? That's impossible akuma can't cry...but..._

Indeed he was. Grant was surprised to find he was crying despite the fact akuma were supposedly incapable of it. Road and the Earl noticed this and too were astounded at this phenomenon.

Without being conscious of it Grant wrapped his metal arms around Allen and returned the hug. _Mas..Master Walker....whatever this feeling is....thank you._

As Allen knelt there and felt the arms around him. He opened his eyes to see the tears falling from Grant's akuma face. Seeing this Allen couldn't help but think to himself. _I really do hate god for making someone suffer like this. Akuma aren't the only ones living without love. They aren't much different from humans are they?_

At this thought a massive stabbing pain tore through his eye and caused him to cry out loudly in pain and fall to floor in agony. Clutching at his throbbing eye and shouting out in pain as his eyes were closed tight in a vain attempt to ward off the pain.

Grant was quickly at his side and was concerned and it was noticable in his voice as he knelt by Allen's suffering form and said, "Master Walker!"

"Allen!! What's wrong!?" said Road as she rushed to his side.

The Earl was quick and stood before Allen as he writhed on the floor in agony. Using his cane he turned Allen over onto his back and let out an audible gasp. "Walker..Walker look at me. Let go of your eye and look at me! What do you see!"

Allen did as he was told. Anything to make the pain stop as it felt as if the left side of his face was burning. Opening his eyes and taking his hands away he looked up at the earl and at Road and what he saw made the pain he felt before intensify and he couldn't help but scream out. He saw there souls! He saw Road's soul. He saw the Earl's soul. They were in such intense agony and pain. That was what Allen was feeling. He was feeling there pain all in a single instant. Their souls were suffering just like the akuma's were. It was horrifying. But the worst part was seeing the Earl's soul. Of all the tourtured souls he had ever seen he had never seen one as disgusting and heart wrenching as his. Not because his soul was wicked. But because he had never seen such intense suffering in anyone, never felt anything like that in anyone. Before Allen passed out from the pain he uttered "souls...i see..*gasp...your souls' pain!" Then he was gone.

The Earl was amazed. "His cursed eye has evolved!? He can see the souls of the living now? This...is quite intriguing and unexpected." He snapped his fingers again and two more akuma made an appearance out of thin air. "Treat him and take him to bed. Take care of him as best you can. Come to me if his condition should worsen."

"Hi Earl-sama!" All three said in chorus. And carried Allen away with a distraught Road following close behind while the Earl comforted her.

XXXXXXXX


	10. GoodMorning

XXXXXXX

Tyki held his pair of cards, looking at them briefly then looking up at the sleeping prone form of Allen. His pair of cards face down on his chest. "So Allen are you going to fold or are you all in?" He then flicked a small wad of paper at his eyes. They flickered once signifying yes.

"Excellent." Tyki had tried his luck against a sleeping Allen. throwing paper at the boys eye. If they flickered once that meant yes. Twice meant no. And so far-

"Dammit! Even in his sleep the kid beats me!" -So far that hadn't changed things at all.

Tyki shuffled the deck again and gave them each their cards. This time after looking at his cards with disdain, he looked both ways before lifting up Allen's cards and sneaking a peak at his. _Cheating against an unconscious opponent. Have I sunk that low? _Tyki thought to himself.

"TYKI!" Cried Road as she saw what he was doing, entering the room through one of her time-space doors. Tyki twitched because he had been caught red handed. "What?"

"Are you cheating against Allen when he can't even play?"

"I'm going to get my smokes back...besides him being asleep hasn't affected his game at all." Tyki responded remembering with disdain just how desperate he was to get a cig.

Flashback

Tyki was in the kitchen with some rolling paper. He had sent out an akuma to get him some cigarettes making sure it was the brand he liked, none of that cheap stuff. But he had yet to return and the nicotine fits weren't going to wait for him to get back. Remembering he had heard something once about oregano being rolled up and smoked although he couldn't remember where he had heard it from. He thought he would give it a try to help stave off the nicotine fits until the real deal arrived. That's why he stood in the kitchen in front of some rolling paper and oregano. Looking right and left slowly, watching out lest anyone should see him try this. He rolled it up and lit it. Taking a soft drag he quickly erupted into a coughing fit. "Damn! That is just awful! Where the hell did I here that from anyway!?

End Flashback

Sighing at the memory from not too long ago. The akuma still hadn't returned and if he didn't soon Tyki would roll and smoke HIM! That's what had lead to his desperate act of cheating against an unconscious opponent.

Road took a look at both their hands, her head going from Allen's hand to Tyki's. Blinking in curiosity she burst out laughing upon confirming that Tyki indeed was loosing to Allen despite him being asleep.

"HAAHAAHA HA! Oh Tyki you are really bad against Allen aren't you?" It wasn't really a question, more of a statement.

Despite the levity the two were displaying it was a stark contrast to the severity of the circumstances. Road's laughter died slowly and she turned back to look at Allen, leaning over his bedside, her usual tomboyish clothing on.

Concern now adorned her face as she looked on Allen's while Tyki too watched the interaction between the two.

Road saw some blood flowing through the bandages on Allen's cursed eye. She had been horrified at what had happened to Allen's eye. The skin around his eye going down to the corner of his mouth, it...it had just disappeared. There was no muscle or skin or well....anything covering it. You just saw the bone white of his skull, the red curse mark shown a bright red aginst the bone white and blood found it's way out of his eye in a steady flow. The two monocles that hovered in front of his eye were now closed but still there. This horrific effect of his cursed eye, one could only hope his face would return to how it once was once it deactivated...one hoped that is. They had bandaged that side of his face to stop the bleeding but it seemed a fruitless venture for the crimson snaked it's way out somehow.

"The bleeding just won't stop. It is so pretty though...Allen's blood." Her hand brushing Allen's afflicted side of his face gracefully with concern. Pulling her hand away to look at the blood that was now on her hand. If it were any other time she would be rejoicing right now, such pretty blood! She really loved Allen's blood. But right now Allen was suffering. Once she did not care about that at all, rather she used to relish it. But now....she hated seeing Allen in such intense pain if she wasn't the one inflicting it. If she was the one then she could control when it started or stopped. And just how much pain Allen would be in. She was the one in control then. But now, she couldn't stop Allen's pain or have any control at all. She didn't find this entertaining at all, not when it was someone she liked and cared for.

As she looked at the blood in her hand as she leaned over Allen's form she couldn't help but lick it and taste of him. After doing so she felt an intensity shoot through her body. The taste of his blood lit a fire inside her and she felt a warmth in her loins. Allen's blood, just tasting it aroused her. If Tyki and Grant weren't in the room and Allen wasn't suffering and unconscious she would be enjoying this feeling and be doing some rather...ahem untasteful things to herself but quite normal for a girl her age....well a woman of any age for that matter.

Speaking of the Akuma Grant he hadn't left Allen's bedside since he had fallen ill. Allen had been out through the evening and throughout the night. Even Road who rarely left his bedside retired to her nearby room to get some sleep. Grant however did not yet this intense observation of Walker was not an order from the Earl so why did he do it? He was the only one who had been next to Allen more than Road herself though he rarely said or did anything so much so it was almost as if he was a piece of furniture in the room.

Road was thankful that Tyki hadn't noticed the feelings that had sparked within her at that moment, or the mild wetness under her skirt.

Tyki on the other hand was merely watching the boy without the look of frustration he had before at loosing to him. He found it rather touching that Road really cared for this cheating boy. He had to admit he liked the boy himself ever since playing poker with him for the first time. He did like him but at the same time he took pleasure at ending his life. Well trying to at least. It was a kind of unique bond born of enemies who in another time and another place could have been great friends.

Now though with Allen no longer being an enemy Tyki found himself worrying about the boy who lay bedridden before him. Even he himself didn't fully understand these feelings or know they were there. But little by little they had made themselves known to him and now that the two were no longer separated by two opposing sides of a war he was able to acknowledge them consciously with less conflict. The fact he liked this cheating boy!

Tyki hoped the boy got better and these feelings showed on his face as he looked on at Allen and Road as he sat slumped forward in his chair.

Road took out a piece of candy and popped it in her mouth. She needed something sweet to replace the absence of Allen's blood in her mouth. It wasn't as good but it was definitely sweeter than Allen's blood but candy didn't give her that heated feeling and thus it was a shallow substitute but she needed something else to help control herself and these feelings

XXXXXXX

Again Allen was inside his dreamscape this time though he found himself surrounded by the pond on a small isle of land with the water slowly rising.

_What is this? Why is it so different now? The water is slowly rising. Is this how much time I have left? My eye, my whole body hurt so much. Even people's souls suffer that much!? I thought it was only akuma. It's okay if I go soon, with all this I don't want to live. You can have this body 14th I...don't have the will left to live._

At this the figure in the water of a distorted version of Allen changed into that of the shadow of the 14th. He shot out above the water and landed grabbing Allen in the process. No smile adorned this shadowy figures face. It was not the wicked smile like it usually showed. Nor was it the cartoonish version of Allen that he usually saw in the water. Allen saw nothing in the shadow of the 14th before him. Allen couldn't read any emotion at all from him.

XXXXXXX

"TYKI!!" Road gasped. Tyki looked up to see Allen who's skin had taken on a dark color as Allen started thrashing about in his bed and screaming in his sleep. No words came from his mouth, just vocalization of intense agony.

Blood burst from across his forhead as small marks were left from were the blood had exploded forth. These cross shaped marks slowly grew steadily larger and the blood flow from them intensified with it. Blood ran down his forhead and from his bandaged eye. It seemed as if his entire face was a morbid ornate fountain of blood and pooled around Allen's shivering, twitching face.

Another grimace and scream snapped Tyki into action, "Grant go get the Earl NOW!" Grant hesitated as if reluctant to leave Allen when he was suffering but only for a second and then he was off in a flash.

"Tyki he just turning into a noah or-"

"I don't know Road! That's what it looks and sounds like but...this is a different remember! The closer the noah comes to awakening the closer the 14th comes to waking up as well! I don't know if it's the same with the boy here!"

The conversation was strained as the two had to yell over Allen's screaming. Allen's body was flailing about wildly as spasms of pain wracked his body. His arms clawing at anything nearby leaving deep gouges in the headboard of the bed and breaking his fingertips wide open smearing the blood along with the gouges in the headboard until his hands dug deep into the wood. Squeezing his fingers deep into the wood in a grotesque and awe inspiring display of willpower that one could do that to their fingers, ignoring the pain of breaking ones fingertips by grind them into the wood. Yet it was obvious this act was only possible due to pain which paled in comparison to that which doing said act inflicted on young Allen.

So much blood. This would be a wet dream for Road if it weren't so serious. Allen's blood was everywhere. Hemorrhaging from his fingertips, forehead, and eye. It was a profuse torrent of red that surrounded Allen and it was a sight that would make ones knees shake and the sound of his shouts make ones skin crawl.

It was truly something which would give one nightmares for life.

XXXXXX

The shadow of the 14th in front of Allen was wearing a pair of strange glasses with wide eyes where the lenses should be.

Allen stared at this, puzzled by this strange occurrence. The shadow of the 14th pointed to the left lens and the eye popped out because of a spring. The "googly eye" dangling by the spring and the 14th laughing. Then he pointed from that to Allen's left eye. His cursed eye.

_Huh? What is this?_ The realization quickly struck Allen like lightning: The 14th was refering to Allen's cursed eye. He was making fun of Allen!!! _BASTARD! This isn't funny. How dare you make light of this, mocking me like this!_

The grin returned to the 14th face as he placed the glasses on Allen's face, who was fuming with anger to the point he didn't do anything to stop this.

The 14th put his arm around Allen's shoulder pulling him close in a friendly manner, leaning his head next to Allen's and his maniacal smile as he did so. He walked Allen over to the edge of the pond while holding him close.

Allen was furious at this. He was on the verge of lashing out. It was all building up. That is until he saw what was in the pond. It was a scene that Allen remembered quite well, one he had tried to put behind him, one that hurt remembering. It was when he was in the ark. When he and the others where about to escape it using the door Road had made but Allen told them to go on ahead.

"I'm going to get Tyki Mikk and Lero."

"Are you serious!" Lavi said in disbelief.

"Tyki Mikk is free of the Noah. He's just a normal human now. I know even you saw that Lavi. When I first met him on that train he had human friends. Those people know nothing about this part of him. They may be still waiting for his return."

Lavi wasn't happy to hear this. "I don't really care. But if the order finds out you rescued one of the Noahs then...-"

He was interrupted by Choji, "Rescue? You mean you didn't kill that man?" Choji looked awful, devastated at hearing Tyki was not only alive but Allen was going to go help him.

"He's still alive."

"What! Even though he is with the akuma who killed master Anita and Mahoja, along with many other comrades?...How come you'll rescue him?...I don't believe this...you are going to betray our resolve?"

The air was heavy at these words and it was suffocating, simply being there was twisting ones stomach in knots.

Choji continued after a brief pause, "If you're going to rescue him. That makes you my enemy."

Allen tried to talk "Choji-" but was cut off by Choji's passionate fury.

"YOU'RE AN ENEMY!! YOU'RE AN AKUMA JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM!!"

Instead of having time to dwell upon this Allen acted and shoved Choji out of the way of an attack by a resurrected Tyki Mikk. Despite those harsh words Allen still put his life on the line for Choji. Yet even later after all was over Choji would not take those words back. He stuck by them...and that left a deep hole in Allen's soul...that the humans he tried to save wanted to condemn one another. Wanted to condemn him for wanting to help. What was wrong with the world?

Allen wasn't there to hear Choji's words after he was dragged down by Tyki's tentacles but he saw it now in the pond before him.

"Like I said...that's what you get for trying to save those bastards. I don't care what your reason is. Those bastards kill humans...they are akuma."

The shadow of the 14th that still held his arm aroud Allen in a chummy manner began to laugh harder at this. Allen merely hung his head low. What was the point?

Before Allen knew what was happening the 14th fell forward into the water with his arm still around Allen. The two fell into the waters and Allen's lungs seemed to catch on fire at the contact. The water was so cold! It seemed to destroy the air in his lungs and burn the inside. It was so dark he couldn't see anything! He couldn't tell which way was up and he couldn't breathe. As Allen opened his mouth, his body desperately gasping for air, the frigid waters cascaded inside him. Hollowing him out from the inside. How could something so cold burn like fire at the same time!? It was sheer agony and any intelligent thought left Allen as more primitive instincts took over. Violently pushing at the dark waters around him. Escape! He must escape this darkness! Frantically and violently trying to find the surface to find an escape.

All the while the laughter of the 14th was clear as day even under the waters. Allen could make out the laughing face of the 14th as the images, the memories assaulted his consciousness just as the black waters surrounded and suffocated him, hollowing out his insides.

Familiar images he had seen before...yet they were so much clearer now...they made so much more sense

_(laughter)....(joy)....I love you so much. _Two lovers holding each other after a passionate night of making love. Allen could not recall their names but their feelings for one another was as clear as day. Such intense devotion and love. The kind that made Allen cold as one would feel comparing the warmth and light of their fire against that of the sun. It paled by compairison. Allen having never received such love in his life, never had experienced such a thing. Never loved anyone like that....did he???

Who were these people? The answer came suddenly like a gunshot to the head and just as painful: The descendent's of Noah. The real Noah. The one who built an ark taking two of every animal along with his own family. The Noah who's family and their descendents created all humans living today. The ancestors of all of us.

Flash

_(tears)....(grief) Why I miss him so much. _A younger girl, Amelia, crying into her uncles arms. Why? Because her father was dead. Who was her father? The man from the scene before. Not too far away was his lover and Amelia's mother grieving over his passing. All around people were crying. All of them related to one another in some manner.

A strong looking elderly man approached and hugged the crying mother

_I am so sorry Ophelia_

_Noah please bring him back....oh god give him back to us! Why!?WHY!?_

Flash

_If only I could see him again...I feel the same..._ Amelia talking to her mother, Ophelia, in the middle of the night. Both hugging each other in bed. Both unable to sleep. Crying, cold, and alone for their lost loved one.

Flash

_No WHY I LOST MY BROTHER NOT HER TOO! WHY DO YOU TAKE THE ONES WE LOVE GOD!? _A similar scene of a man crying over his lost lover. How much time had passed was unknown. It could have been years or no time at all really. Again many were crying. Sisters, brothers, fathers, mothers, friends.

So many time scenes just like this replayed themselves over and over again. Each one different yet so similar at the same time.

Until

Flash

_They can only be brought back once...and they might not remember...but we can help them to remember. _Allen couldn't make out clearly who was speaking but he/she motioned towards the newly made akuma as many rejoiced at being reunited with their lost loved one. A daughter hugged her father whose body was but made of metal and a wife held her husband close.

Flash

_Thank you...for reading to me daddy_

_I don't remember being your father yet...but some things are coming back to me...even if those memories don't ever come back know this: I really do love you sweetie. I don't need memories to know that I love you now. _An akuma who had been reading to his human daughter as she lay in bed, the night air cool and crisp around them. The akuma patted her head and hugged her and although he couldn't kiss his daughter goodnight she felt his love all the same. Even if he didn't remember her as his daughter yet...he still loved her. The young girl was just happy to have her daddy back!

Flash

_WHY! WHY!! You took her from me AGAIN!!! Why God??? Why do you hate us so? What have we done to deserve this! AFTER ALL WE'VE SUFFEREDTHROUGH DONE FOR YOU GOD!! WHY DAMMIT!! _A man who's loved one had been brought back as an akuma, now lay destroyed at his feet. God took her from him again. He couldn't allow happiness and love to last...no that would be too merciful. God had granted a man a strange power...an ability no one else could do. The ability to destroy the akuma. This blasphamy against god's natural order of things. This perversion of the cycle of life and death. This man who used that damned thing called...innocence!

Flash

_Never forget...never forgive....exorcists...innocence. _The young girl said, who's akuma father had read her a bedtime story not too many days ago, was on her knees with tear stained cheeks crying as the man with the innocence...THE MAN WHO HAD TAKEN DADDY FROM HER...JUST LIKE GOD DID...walked away. Crying intensely over the broken remains that had housed her fathers soul. With a look of pure rage that went far beyond her age, glared with tear stricken eyes at the back of the man who carried the innocence. _Never forget...never forgive....exorcists...innocence_ Her rage and those like hers would be carried on in one by the name Skin Bolic.

Flash

_God let's us love but takes it away....he wants us to suffer_

Flash

_Hey Mana. I know you are feeling lonely without me being around as much so I got you a puppy. (laughter) Well technically I wasn't the one who got it but you know what I mean. _

_You mean the Earl got him for me. WOW! Tell him thank you!_

_Tell me yourself. _The figure of a gentleman stepped through the doorway smiling sincerely at the young brothers and laughing lightheartedly.

_Thank you so much for the puppy sir!_

_Think nothing of it :) He'll need a name though won't he._

The other brother spoke at this after some thought _I like the name Allen. I think it suits the guy rather well don't you think so Mana?_

_Yeah! His name'll be Allen._

The man by the name of Earl: _I'm sorry that I am taking up so much of your brother's time Mana. This is kind of my way of apologizing. It is necessary however. _He ruffled the young boy's hair.

Both boys gave the Earl a hug

Flash

The image before Allen of hugging the Earl was warped. Instead of sharing a hug with a kind man he was on the end of a sword pierced through his chest. The Earl with that wide sinister grin yet his eyes seemed so sad as tears fell. He was crying. He said something like "I'm sorry." But Allen couldn't couldn't hear anything. There was no sound whatsoever. Just that image...then nothing... except the laughter of the 14th.

XXXXXXX

"What's going on!" The Millennium Earl had entered the room, still in human form.

Tyki was holding Allen down. Road was keeping Allen's hands at their sides to prevent him from doing any more damage to himself. He was still shaking violently and the two were having a hell of a time.

Tyki answered this obvious question. "The boy he's-"

Before he could answer the Earl moved him to the side briskly but before he could do anythign the spasms suddenly stopped.

All was still and quiet as Road looked down on Allen. Then her heart seemed to lighten as she saw Allen open his eyes. She threw her arms around him, her head on his shoulder as he was sitting up.

"ALLEN!!"

She was crying much to her surprise. But it was only a little at least that's what she tried to tell herself. Something was wrong though. Something was different. She felt him put his arm around her and place a hand on her head, rubbing softly. It didn't feel quite like Allen. Then she heard in a voice that didn't sound quite like Allen's. She didn't see the smile that didn't seem quite like Allen's either.

"Good...mor....ning"

XXXXXXX

**In case you people are wondering why I'm sitting in a therapist's office it's not because I'm insane....though I make no claims to not be. Rather it's because low and behold Surgar n' Sweet decided that whole group therapy idea was a good one.**

**Therapist****: Talking to invisable voices hmm?? That's not a good sign. (jots something down)**

**No they aren't invisible, they're my readers and the conversations I have with the voices in my head are my business not yours.**

**Therapist: HEY! This is violating doctor patient confidentiality. Uh if they are your readers why are there only like 12 of them**

**(Me: Get's depressed) sniffle***

**Sugar N' Sweet: Look now you got him depressed. Great just great. We aren't gonna get anywhere now.**

**We weren't gonna get anywhere to begin with. This guy is a quack. **

**Sugar N' Sweet: What makes you say that.**

**The fact you learned of him because he used to be one of the customers that would slip dollar bills in your underwear. This is what I get for going to a doc you recommend.**

**Therapist: aheh* I would rather not-**

**Sugar N' Sweet: So what if he was a paying customer. I don't see you trying to find a doc to help us.**

**Lollipop: YAY! More fighting. I brought the rope (holds up rope) let's tie him down!**

**THAT'S MY ROPE!**

**Therapist: Okay I can see that we have some serious issues we are going to have to sort through. First off I think you're gay.-**

**AND WHY ARE WE SEEING A COUPLES THERAPIST!**

**Therapist: (get's frustrated grabs rope) That's it! Time for some severe critical therapy! **

**(is tied up facing Sugar N' Sweet and Lollipop.)**

**Why'd you tie us up you perv!**

**I'm going to leave now. You three kiss and make up. I'll be back....well whenever my secretary get's off actually. Which according to my record takes only 7 minutes. (he leaves)**

**(I stare at Sugar.)....I told you he was a quack. **

**Sugar:....sh...shut up.**

**Lollipop: YAY BONDAGE! FUN!**

**Sugar: Well at least things can't get any worse....whats that digging into my thigh.**

**No...nothing.....**

**Lollipop: Hee hee...guess what Sugar? He's not gay. Can you guess what's poking you.**

**SPEAK AND YOU DIE!**

**Lollipop: Yes that's right! Boss me around! Whip me! Make me your little B%#$%. **

**....?!!?....this isn't gonna end well is it?...AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Stop moving your thighs around so much**

**Sugar: What??....I'm not bothering you am I...**

**I wouldn't use the words "bothering" but still that isn't a good idea...WAIT! You're doing that intentionally aren't you!?**

**Sugar: (completely ignores my advice) Doing what??? (plays dumb)**

**I can't tell who's in more trouble. Me or Allen. Well as always REVIEW PLEASE or else! I'll threaten you later..I've gotta deal with this situation here...AH! Don't touch that...how'd you like it when I touch you there huh!**

**(moan)**

**....oops...uh looks like I just got myself into something. I might be in trouble here people so...well...I'll see you next time.**


	11. so four exorcists head into a bar and

Some time had passed since anyone at the order had last seen Allen Walker. "Some time" those are the words used to replace "we have no idea if we'll ever see him again" or "Is he even alive?"

Indeed some time had passed. Just how much Lenalee didn't know. She stopped keeping track of the passing days as keeping track made her heart grow heavy and only pressed the certainty that Allen was gone from her life.

So instead she let time slip by without keeping track it was easier that way.

The joke that Lavi had spread around the order had become serious after days had passed and still no sign of the missing white haired exorcist. Even Lavi had lost his joking manner, replaced by signs of worry which was distressing to watch for Lenalee. It only meant that her feelings were correct...

Where had Allen gone? That was the question that was plaguing her mind and those in the Black Order.

She and Allen had seemingly switched places. Now it was her who was keeping up false appearances. Pretending she was alright. Smiling when Lavi asked if she was alright. All of it was a lie. She tried to be strong and hated feeling like she wasn't. It felt better even if the strength she showed to others right now was fake. It still felt better than letting them know how worried she was. How scared she was that she would never see Allen again. That she might never even find out what happened to him.

Lying curled up in her bed, holding the pillow cupped to her chest. It was the one time, the one place she didn't need to be strong for anyone. Where she could let down her guard and just be herself: A worried young girl who's world was so very frail and falling apart.

_Falling apart? Is it really? Is losing Allen...does that undo all that's important to me? I still have so many things that are important to me. My brother, Reever, the science department, Lavi, Miranda. Yet...why does it feel like everything is gone now? Like my world has already been destroyed?_

These feelings that she buried deep within her so she could be strong. Strong....so she could protect her world made up of the people which were important to her. Why did it feel like she no longer needed to be strong?

XXXXXXX

"OH how is my PRECIOUS Lenalee doing?" Was Komui's love inspired greeting as she entered his office. The greeting came complete with devoted eyes and that awkward wobbly stance that seemed to defy gravity as well as that creepy feeling you get when the director talks about his younger sister.

"I'm doing fine brother" smiling that wonderful smile that only Lenalee could give. Marian Cross seemed to know how to spot attractive woman ahead of time as Lenalee had become quite the eye catcher. Her short hair seemed to accentuate her changes. Yet to director Komui she would always be his precious younger sister and he would protect her with all his worth.

"That's wonderful and thank you again for the coffee this morning. It was even better than usual."

"well um..I really didn't do anything to different today. Well I did add some cinnamon but other than that nothing was different."

"It must have been Lenalee's love in the coffee that made it so delicious. Had anyone else made it it wouldn't have been nearly as good."

"uh....brother."

"hmm...yes?"

"Is there a reason you summoned me to your office?"

Komui's face grew serious. He had been trying to put this off. Trying to forget, if even for a moment, what he was about to do. He knew that Allen's disappearance had an effect on his younger sister and he worried for her well being. That's why he wanted to avoid this.

"I need you to investigate reported sightings of innocence in the city of New Orleans."

"Sure. That'll be fine. Am I going alone?"

Komui didn't like how well she was taking this. Where was the crack in her armor. He knew it was there but the fact it wasn't showing was worrisome. She seemed to be fairing far too well in light of Allen's disappearance. As the saying goes if you bottle it all in it's unhealthy and eventually one explodes.

"No, Lavi and bookman will accompany you. As will Timothy, it will be good in field experience for him. The information we have so far are rumors and speculation. There is talk down there of strange magic and disappearances. Although it being New Orleans I imagine it to just be local superstitious folklore. Voodoo and the like are well known around those parts so I wouldn't be surprised if it's nothing but rumors but w2e need to have it checked out anyway. This might be completely unrelated but the local wildlife in the swamps outsiede the city seem to be-"

He flipped through some papers looking for the exact words.

"-irratic or completely absent. There doesn't seem to be much more in the report about it but please keep it in mind just in case."

"Kay, anything else?"

"...No. That'll be all. Please take care of yourself Lenalee.-"

**Ring **went Komui's phone

Komui sat there smiling ignoring it.

**Ring Ring!**

He knocks it off the table.

"Uh brother aren't you going to get that?"

"Hmmm....get what?" He said with a smile.

Reever poked his head in the office. "Uh director Komui I have Levrierr on the phone here requesting a word with you."

"Tell him I'm not here!"

the phone erupted in the noise of Levrier's yelling which was loud enough for those present in the room to hear.

"KOMUI I CAN HEAR YOU! ANSWER ME NOW!"

Director Komui reluctantly and hesitantly complied.

"Oh hello sir how have you-"

"Don't feed me that! I've been trying to get in contact with you unsuccessfully for quite some time. I find out that investigator Link was incapacitated. Why was I not informed!?

"Well you see-"

"What's more I find out that due to your failure to comply with regulations Allen Walker has gone missing while under your watch. Your neglect in your duty has resulted in this and is unacceptable. You are hereby stripped of your rank and duties until further notice. I'll be sending someone down to investigate your competency to perform your duties along with other things. Until then you're in charge Reever."

"What but sir I'm not-"

"It's only temporary until my subordinate arrives and the investigation is over. It won't be too long.

Komu turned to his Lenalee. "Uh this could take awhile but don't worry about brother. I'll take care of it."

"Uh okay" She closed the door behind her. _I hope brother is gonna be okay._

XXXXXXX

Komui had dismissed himself from the discussion between Reever and Levrier. If he was no longer acting as head director than it was nothing he needed to worry about. He had more pressing concerns on his mind and he wished to use the power of his position to try and get some answers while he still could.

The appearance of the new crystal form innocence that Lenalee now had was unique and unprecedented. It concerned him greatly, not just out of concern for his younger sister but for the safety of other exorcists. What was this new evolution of the innocence. Parasitic innocence shortened the lifespan of the wielder severely. What effects did this crystallized innocence have?

Komui had been discussing such matters with Hevlaska. Her knowledge of innocence was beyond reproach yet even this new form of innocence puzzled her.

Komui had been trying to form theories with Hevlaska's assistance but nothing substantial had come.

The lights of floors flashing across his vision as Komui descended the elevator shaft still thinking.

The most pressing concern is something which has recently surfaced. The innocence known as "Judgement" which belonged to the now deceased general Cross and now being held by Hevlaska. She had reported to him that Cross was no longer the one whom the innocence was compatiable with. That was already known. What was new was that she claimed that it was now resonating.When Komui asked her to clairify all she could say was that the user to this innocence is becoming active. She wasn't much clearer about that.

_What does this mean? An innocence finding a new weilder after the old one died? I haven't heard of such a thing before. Could...could it be the heart?_

Such an idea seemed ludicrous since this innocence was once possessed by Cross who was known to lack a heart. But it would be very ironic if it was indeed the heart and it was weilded be one who lacked a heart of his own. Ironic, funny, and sad.

"Hello Hevlaska. I wanted to talk to you one last time about how Judgement is doing?"

"One last time?..."

"Oh you'll learn soon enough."

"Well actually I have become concerned myself as I haven't felt anything like this since the Walker boy's innocence reached critical levels. Although not near that magnitude the resonance of this innocence is similar in nature...as if being pulled to the user."

"Well that IS interesting....."

XXXXXXX

She brushed her green bangs out of her eyes as she stared out of the window of the carriage as they made their way towards the city of New Orleans. They should have been taking the ark but without Allen around it was nearly impossible to use it except the way Allen had left it and since this city wasn't programmed in it was impossible.

So the group had been forced to travel the old fashioned way.

Lenalee tuned out all noises around her as she let her mind wander. Her head supported by one hand as she took in the greenery of the flora they were passing. The trees lush and different from the kind she was used to. The area was much more humid and the ground was constantly moist due to nearby swamps. The trees seemed to have adapted well to the area as their appearance suggested giving the unwelcoming look that fit with many horror stories of which were prevalent in the area amongst the locals.

The bumps along the road being fully felt inside the cabin of the horse drawn carriage although this too went unnoticed by Lenalee who's mind was elsewhere, with a certain white haired exorcist. Her mind was missing...just like him...just like Allen...

"Lenalee."

"Huh?"

"I said we're almost there." Lavi placed a comforting hand on her shoulder, trying to pull her mind back to the here and now. It was strange how he seemed able to see though her, like she was transparent.

"Oh yeah...right." She said, looking out the window only briefly. Taking one last look at the natural landscape passing them by. Allowing her mind one last chance to wander the harsh cruel realities of life before she had to resolve herself to turn and face it once again.....most regrettably since **dreams** seem to have it all....in ways even she couldn't fathom at the moment.

XXXXXXX

Upon arrival in the city of New Orleans the group of exorcists were led by their finder through the streets towards their destination. They took in the sites, sounds, and yes even smells of the vibrant city. Though it had only been around for roughly a hundred years it seemed to be fast becoming economically well off for a city so new.

It was strange as neither Lenalee nor Timothy had ever seen a city quite like it as their primary commodity to success seemed to be fun and style. It had a laid back, friendly atmosphere that seemed to put ones mind at ease and lift burdens as it was doing for Lenalee at this time.

It was quite a colorful community Lenalee had to admit. The people were friendly yet different but in a good way. It brought a smile to her face which had been absent for quite some time.

The finder had led them to one source of information about the 'rumored' innocence.

"A pub?" Lenalee asked quizzically

"Actually here they refer to it as a bar." corrected the finder

"What are we doing in front of a liquor store?" Asked Timothy.

Lavi merely smiled, "a pub isn't a liquor store Tim. It's a place where-

"Blah blah blah blah yeah right people go to get drunk yeah I know. Don't use your smart words to make it sound better around me red head."

Lavi was dumbfounded at these words but found them amusing and merely laughed it off ruffling the boy's hair.

Lenalee didn't find it as acceptable though and grabbed Timothy by the ear, "Tim you shouldn't talk to Lavi like that, it's rude."

"Ow ow ow ow ow! Let go! Yeah right sorry geez."

Tim muttered under his breath that it was still a place people went to get stupid but Lenalee pretended not to hear him.

"Anyway why ARE we here anyway? I thought these finder guys were suppose to take us to where the innocence was suppose to be."

"Normally I would young exorcist but in this case I don't know where it is specifically. All we have are rumors and the like. I felt it best if you inquired one of our sources for information yourself before we venture further."

They walked into the bar. The finder was right, this isn't what one would call a pub, more like a dive. Barely any lighting broke the shadows. The first thing they saw was a rather tall dark skinned man talking to some woman. He was obviously the bartender. His hand planted on the oaken counter as he leaned on it while talking enthusiastically to the two young woman who seemed captivated by his words.

The presence of the exorcists seemed to kill the man's mojo though and upon seeing the exorcists the girls bid the man goodbye much to his chagrin and displeasure.

The girls now gone his attention turned to the party crashers. "Can I 'elp you?"

"I believe you can." The finder said stepping to the front of the group revealing himself.

"You. Whadda you need friend?"

"I need you to tell these people everything you've told me."

"What! Again! Look I already told ya and I'm getting mighty sick o' this topic so unless one of you plan to buy a drink or make it worth my while there's no business 'ere.

The bartender's eyes seem to find Timothy, "We don't serve kids though sorry."

Ignoring his most recent comment Lenalee stepped forward and addressed the man herself. "Please sir. We've come a long way and it's very important that we hear what you have to tell us."

Giving Lenalee an appraising look, "This 'ere is New Orleans pretty thing. Where anything's vailable for the right price. What's it worth to you?"

"What do you want?" Lenalee asked not liking where this was going nor the look the man was giving her

"Bein as you mighty over dressed little lady how 'bout you show some skin thaz all. Skin's a low form o currency round here. More 'spensive stuff 'll run you more than just a show though if you know what I mean. Luckily I'm not askin' for that."

Everyone's eyes bugged out at where this conversation was going. Timothy seemed to be the only one slightly lost. "Wait..so he just wants her to take off more clothes right? What's the big deal?"

Lavi looked down at Timothy, this kid had a strange assortment of knowledge.

Lavi tried to put a stop to it but before he could get a word out edge-wise "All right"

_WHAAAT!!!_ "Lenalee do you know what you're doing!?"

"It's okay Lavi."

"Relax boy, sit back 'njoy tha show.

Lavi couldn't believe what was going on. The bar tender came out from behind the bar to get a better vantage point, sitting atop the oak. Lenalee slowly and hesitantly bent her leg and lifted her skirt slowly and with the other hand beckoned him to come closer.

Lavi took this moment, his jaw hanging open, to cover Timothy's eyes.

The man got down on his knees to comply. He liked this game. He could just begin to see under the skirt when Lenalee's bent leg knee'd him hard in the face sending him flying back against the bar.

"Oops! Sorry about that. I can be so clumsy sometimes but you got to feel which is more than what you asked so can you please answer our questions. Please?" She asked in a fake sugary sweet voice.

Grumbling the man rose from the floor and nodded while rubbing his face. "Tha trouble you bring ain't worth it. You best be careful who ya try that on. The next guy might be the one ta jam something in **your** face after ya try a stunt like that."

"What stunt?" Lenalee asked innocently with a smile.

"Right." Taking his place back behind the bar he pulled out some glasses and began stocking the liquor cabinet as he talked.

"Don't know when it started, just know what I picked up in conversation. Ya hear a lot running a bar and not all of it true but I know there's a grain o' truth ta this one. Anyway people 'round town been disappearen' an all that. Locals, greenfolk, tourists n' what not. It don't matter. All of em go missing. People go missing everday round here it's just now it's gotten worse! Too many folks vanishin and whatnot.

One o' my employees, yeah well he and I would talk with the customers about it. Some real strange stuff. He seems to enjoy talking about it more than me though. Doesn't bother me what he talks with customers 'bout 'long as he don't scare em off and they keep coughin' up the green."

"That's really fascinating and all but could you get to the point please." Lavi didn't want to have to memorize useless information as a bookman and everything this guy was saying was being locked away in that vault he called his memory.

"I'm getting ta that! God almighty little patience seish. Well anyway like I said that employee o' mine I was telling you about, guys got a weird name I tell you, matter o' fact he should be here workin' right now but the guys lazy as hell. Does this all the time and I'm gonna bust his ass next time I see em. Anyway name's Xadi. He picked up an awful lot about these missin people from the customers. He says that most o' the disappearances happen just outside o town near the clarksville swamp. Land was once owned by...I dunno ***shrug. **An old mansion was built out in that estate god knows why. Some guy musta liked his privacy and you can't get more private than a swamp. Don't nobody wanna go out there ta visit you.

So Xadi comes up ta me one day says '**ey bill! I went out there and it was weird as all 'ell'**...said something about there being no sound out there. Like nothin, nada. No crickets nothing. 'so what I sayz. And he tells me it might be true or something like that. Talked about seeing a woman out there near the old rundown mansion. Holding a doll. He went back out there and talked 'bout seein some lights in the old run down clarksville mansion.

Creepy stuff he sayz. Starts bringin it up ta the customers round the bar 'specially the ladies. Like he's tryin to impress em o somethin. Big bad tough guy lookin for missin people or some garbage like that. Ha! Good guy though. Lazy as all hell though.

Anyway. I follow em out there one night just ta see if he's a chicken shit and call his bluff. But it was real. I saw a glowing light out there in the swamp and I coulda swore I saw a girl. I lost Xadi out there but he was right about one thing. There is nothing out there AT ALL! No animals. Like god has cursed that place. Haven't seen anything like that in my entire life."

"You wouldn't happen to know where Xadi lives would you? If he's the one who has most of the information shouldn't we be talking to him?" Lenalee asked.

"Heh, you're the second person to ask where he's stayin. But it's a lost cause because he's probably not at home. Never is. Can't ever find the guy for my life. Shows up to work late and that's the only time I'm able to find the guy. Hangin' out after work with em is fun though."

Lenalee had to ask the question buzzing around in her head. "Finder, why haven't you checked out the swamp yourself?"

"I have Ms. Lee and it's just as he says. I can't find this Xadi person even though I've searched high and low for him. I also seem to be incapable of finding this clarksville mansion so my search has come up with nothing. That's why I felt it would be best if exorcists were brought out. Things are quite strange."

The bartender seemed miffed, "are we done now."

XXXXXX

**It's been quite awhile since I've updated. Sorry about that. I'll try to update more frequently. The good thing though is the time away has given me some good ideas like taking the setting to New Orleans. Bet no one saw that coming. I'll update soon...hopefully. I hope I haven't lost any of my loyal fans because we still haven't gotten to the best part.**

Next time: The exorcists travel to the clarksville swamp in search of clues while **someone** manages to track down this Xadi person.

Timothy: This sucks! Hey Lavi carry me!

Lavi: What! NO! *Swats at mosquitos This is bad as it is


	12. Xadi

Thought of the day: Why do guys think if they are porn stars than that makes them cool? All it means is someone ELSE is paying a girl to sleep with you and you are too cheap to pay yourself.

Phrase of the day: This is a robbery. Don't even pucker your buttholes!

Oh yeah and please review. Seriously it's like the only joy I get out of putting this story down on paper so please leave me something. It's greatly appreciated. And I almost forgot. I have gotten up to 100 reviews. Awesome. My goal is to receive 1,000 reviews for this story and I really hope you readers will help me with that. As long as you do I will continue to crank out "da awesum" as some put it. Any way thank you to all who got me to 100 reviews. Keep on helping me out kay.

Songs for this chapter:Angels-Nine Inch Nails (song Xadi is humming/singing), Burn-Nine Inch Nails (Xadi's song). These songs will be used in future chapters as well. Enjoy. I highly recommend listening to one or both (especially burn).

**Dislaimer:** I don't own D Gray-Man or the songs listed above but I do own all original characters used in this fic.

XXXXXXXX

As the group of exorcists made their way to the swamp they came across two finders who were carrying a stretcher with a sheet over it. When their finder, Finnigan, inquired as to what they had found the news was grim.

"We managed to find one of the missing people. Though he's dead unfortunately."

"Who was he?"

"One of our finders."

"What happened to him?"

Examining under the sheet (Lavi covered Timothy's eyes. A young boy shouldn't see a dead body.)

"How did he die?" Lavi asked. He took note that the chest cavity had been opened.

"Well we managed to do an on the scene analysis so that large opening in his chest. That was us. When we found him there was no sign of injury or anything. Thus the on scene autopsy. We aren't professionals but It seems he drowned."

"That isn't so strange. We're in a swamp." Lavi pointed out.

"That's not the weird part. He didn't drown on water. He drowned in blood. His lungs were filled with blood."

Narrowing his eyes in contemplation, Lavi questioned further. "So then it was merely internal bleeding and he suffocated on his own blood from his lungs hemorrhaging."

The two finders looked at each other. "Uh that's what we thought until we realized the blood type we found was type A."

"So?"

"This finder's blood type was B. We checked. This Man choked on someone else's blood."

XXXXXXXX

Tyki walked down the sidewalks of New Orleans with mild skip in his step until he arrived at his destination. A mild shake of his head in disapproval as he looked upon the dilapidated and disheveled small apartment complex. He was all for living amongst the common people but this wasn't common at all! But what could he expect upon the walk here after all. He was in one of the poorer areas of the city known as "The Big Easy."Signs of wear and tear, poor upkeep, and disreputable riff-raff were everywhere. Signs of the homeless littered the streets and he could tell as he passed by that he stood out like a sore thumb in a hospitable filled with those who had amputated arms. Yeah it was bad. He had received a plethora of looks on his way to this destination Were he any other person he might be concerned for his wellbeing for fear of being mugged. He laughed a bit at this thought. Any who even thought of trying it should be concerned for their **own** wellbeing.

Thoughts returned to the shambles before him one would call home. He made his way up the the cracked and broken cement steps to the door. The door had no lock nor even a knob. It swung open without any effort. The door creaked and groaned at this.

The air that met his nose reeked of decay and rot making his face cringe at the sudden unpleasant odor. Cleanliness was obviously not the primary concern of the occupants but Tyki figured it was more likely one person in particular.

He made his way through the door, the wooden floorboards creaking with every step he took letting loose the horrid living conditions. Tyki pace took him up the stairs to the floors above. He hummed a little happy tune to himself as he went. That is until he heard someone else humming as well. And it was most definitely not a happy tune at all. _This is ruining my good mood_. He thought to himself as he continued up the stairs to the forth and final floor. At the end of the hall near a dirty door with peeling paint, the humming originated from. Tyki could just make out sining coming from behind the door now.

"Feel sooooo lonely I feel like I have dieeeed! I thought angels never learned to say goodbye."

Tyki knocked on the door politely and waited for a response. The only one he got was the silence of the song he heard. Nothing else. Again he tried knocking. "Xadi...Xadi I know you are in there. Open up the door."

There was no response.

Tyki sighed with distaste and merely walked **through **the door. The specific term would be phasing through it as was his power as the Noah with the memory of Pleasure.

The interior of the room was filthy. Garbage and other debris littered the floor. It was a mess and the person who lived here was obviously a slob or simply just didn't care about the upkeep.

Wading his way through ankle deep garbage until he found the person he was looking for lying on his bed with his head tilted back looking up at him in a lazy informal manner. This young man who appeared in his early 20's had wild unkempt brown hair and a small beard adorning his chin. His clothes were ruffled and he appeared slovenly.

"TYKI! How are you doing? It's so great to see you."

Tyki lit up a cigarette. "I've been....well let's just say I've had better days."

"What's with the new look. The long hair and all."

"Oh Road threatened to kill me if I cut it. She likes it better this way."

"Haha! Sounds like her. How is my cousin doing anyway? Is she still the same as I remember her?"

"Pretty much. But she does have a little crush now though. Something of a boy friend I should say. Or a boy toy something along those lines."

At this the man known as Xadi burst out laughing at this

"HAHAHAA....Road! Road has a crush!! Oh oh that's just adorable. Knowing Road it's more like her to keep him as a toy. Um has she cut off any of his limbs yet?"

"No she hasn't and it doesn't seem like she is going to anytime soon."

Xadi was impressed

"Wow! That is something. Normally she loses interest in her toys unless they're...you know...dying."

"Yes I know." Tyki narrowed his eyes in curiosity at Xadi. "Why don't you know any of this. The Earl writes to you on occasion letting you know how we are doing doesn't he?"

"Well yeah of course but I've been worried ever since I ....I felt Skin die."

"Yeah. Well we're fine"

"What about the exorcist who killed him? Is he dead?"

"No."

"NO!? What'd you mean. Why is he still walking around? Geez I'll just take care of him myself."

Tyki took a long drag off his cigarette to calm his nerves. Dealing with Xadi could be a lot of things. Entertaining sometimes. Aggravating and stressing other times. This was the latter.

"Xadi please pay attention for me here. The Earl's let you hang around and slack off down here for quite some time now. But with the loss of Skin we need to you to....well....stop being you and help."

"Are you saying I'm lazy?"

Tyki gave him a look. A look that seemed to be like a hammer to the face stating 'Hell Yeah'

Xadi took this with good humor and chuckled. "Yeah you're right. You called me on it."

"The Earl's let you slack off down here for long enough. What have you been doing down here anyway? You never write us."

"Too much effort to write. Why bother. I've been doing a little of.....well nothing really."

Tyki slapped a palm to his face. Why didn't he guess. That was just like Xadi.

"Well mostly I've been hanging around chatting with the local girls and the like. You know how I love the fairer sex."

"Uh huh" Tyki said as he flicked the used cigarette to the floor and put it out with his heel.

"Hey! What are you doing? Don't just make a mess."

"Look around Xadi. This doesn't make a difference at all. The place is already a mess."

"Yeah good point. Still never was much for smoking though."

"Yes you were never much for doing anything at all. So you've been working at a bar as well I hear."

"Yeah. It's a great place to meet girls and make money at the same time. Though I wouldn't call it working since I really don't do all that much work."

"Yeah well there's another reason I came down here besides to fetch you. We're here for the innocence as well."

"Oh you guys want that."

Tyki was mildly shocked. "You know about it?"

"Well sure. I mean I found out about it. Been scoping it out myself."

"Why haven't you done anything about it!?"

"Too much trouble. Why bother? I mean I looked into it but it seemed like to much trouble so I've just been keeping tabs on it. Oh and I've been having some fun on the side while doing so."

"Well the Earl needs you to start helping now so come on."

"What? Now?"

At this Tyki just kicked the bed over sending Xadi sprawling to floor buried under the mattress.

"HEY! Come on! You don't have to be like that!"

"It's the only way to get you to do anything now move."

"Fine, fine. Just let me change into something a little more acceptable to the Earl. Don't want him to scold me again."

A few moments later Xadi appeared his hair still wild and uncombed along with his beard. He was wearing a wrinkled suit much like Tyki however it was worn and and the jacked was unbuttoned. He looked just as was his manner: Lazy. Holes and wrinkles covered his attire. No top hat. His bow tie remained limp and unfastened around his neck. He looked as if he had thrown the outfit together at the last moment. And he did. Despite this one couldn't say he was ugly. He was actually pretty good looking. If only he would clean himself up but despite that he still looked pretty good. Unlike Tyki, Xadi had more of a rugged look to him. Where Tyki was attractive in a suave elegant manner. Xadi was handsome in his own way. Though it would be easier to see if he actually cleaned himself up.

The two set foot outside and were on their way.

"So where is Road right now anyway?"

"Oh she's with her little boyfriend."

"You mind if we make a little detour. I wanna pick something up for my cousin. She still likes dolls right?"

"Yes, she does. Why?"

"I want to pick up one for her as a gift. It's been such a long time since I've seen her. I always liked seeing the look on her face when I would give her a doll when she was younger."

Putting his arm around Xadi in a friendly manner. Sure he had a lot of faults but still he was family.

"I'm sure she'll like that Xadi. I'm sure she'll like that a lot."

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Because I love my readers and was happy with the reviews I was given by them (though I wished there had been more) I decided to whip this one out for those that reviewed my last chapter. I'll try to update regularly like this but consider this an extra special treat since it's only been a little more than a day since my last update. Oh and to BookThief101. This update's for you since I've keep you waiting so long.

Next time: The group of exorcists venture further into the clarksville swamp in search of clues.

Please REVIEW! Otherwise I will murder this story. DO YOU WANT THAT! DO YOU WANT THIS STORY TO DIE? DO YOU WANT IT'S BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS? DO YOU? Review than please. Help me get to 200 reviews.

~Wolf


	13. That's a lot of blood

Wow. I am so happy with the amount of hasty reviews I got to my newest chapter ( chapter 12). I went from 106 reviews to 120 overnight. Wow, thank you so much. So after I read them all I decided to immediately get started on the next chapter. After all I said the more reviews I get the faster the next chapter comes out. I wasn't kidding.

Thought of the day: I found out lifting the seat when you use the bathroom is a really big deal to girls and not a lot of guys do it. Does the fact that I do....I dunno....should I list it as an attractive feature or something.

Phrase of the day: (Said to my brother Derek when he said he was going to do homework.) HOMEWORK! Homework is for squares. Squares have points. You know what else has points!? Spears and swords. Swords and spears are used in war. You know who was in a war. HITLER! So if you do homework you are as bad as HITLER! FACT! Via the transitive property. (I'll let you people guess who said that)

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Lenalee and the group made the slow trudge through the dark swamp, their ankles deep in murky dark water.

Their was no form of transportation through the swamp since no one ever came out here.

The trek was truly strange. There were no sounds at all except for their own steps and breathing. Silence. Complete silence. Their weren't even mosquitoes or bugs flying about to bother them. This allowed the group to better appreciate their surroundings without the bothersome pests.

Lenalee thought it was amazing what the complete absence of life here did to her sense of these surroundings. Darkness hung all around without even the fire of lightning bugs to guide one on their path. The trees, whose roots went into the dark waters. Whose branches hung low as in mourning for whom or what Lenalee could only guess. Their unfortunate luck of land they inhabited? That they resided in a land that was nothing but decay? Lenalee didn't know.

The water was perfectly stagnant and their was barely any light overhead from the moon to guide their way. The tall grass and vegetation grew high all around them. Yet there wasn't even a breeze out here so there was no swaying of the plants in the marshland. Truly all was deathly still. All was completely quiet. No movement. No sound. Nothing.

Lenalee thought it was strangely beautiful. Like when the world was new, before life had sprouted. It was marvelous to behold in it's own strange manner

Deeper and deeper. Into the unknown. Into the darkness. Further from the lights and warmth of humanity and civilization.

"This is really creepy." Timothy was putting on a brave front but it was obvious he was frightened by this strange atmosphere.

"There's no sound out here. No animals or movement. It's weird."

"Brother told me about reports of such things. But hearing about it doesn't do it justice. The experience is..."

She didn't finish. There wasn't a word for it. She let the sentence float on the non-existent wind. Unfinished.

"What clues are we looking for out here exorcists?" The finder asked.

"Anything out of the ordinary. No life is one clue but we need more." Lavi stated.

Soon there was a faint glow out in the distance, beyond the foliage of the trees.

"What's that?" Timothy asked

"I...I don't know. I've never seen it before." The finder's answer was far from satisfactory and settled no one's nerves.

The strange luminations grew closer and the foundations of a large building grew in the distance. The lights came from the windows which was a strange contrast to seemingly deserted building. Worn from the elements and environment. Time had not been kind to it. The lights were eerie when all around them their was nothing but decay and rot from the swamp, the building dying just like the land. Yet there in the windows was a warm glow which should have brought that warmth into the travelers hearts .It did not. The exact opposite actually. It unnerved them all and Lenalee voiced this.

"I thought you said you couldn't find this Clarksville mansion and I thought it was deserted?"

"We couldn't Ms. Lee and I thought it was. The..there are rumors in town of a witch who lives out here."

"it would have been nice if you had told us sooner."

"Well it was merely some superstition and I had nothing to back it up. I didn't think I should inform you of all folk lore around these parts. Like the fact the swamp water ages your skin by years."

Lenalee's eye twitched in slight annoyance at this. "That too would have been nice to know."

"Does that mean if I swim around in it I'll grow up in like a day?" Timothy asked.

"No that just means you'll get all wrinkly forever AND you'll still be short." Lavi said with a grin.

The ensuing argument, while brief, was tuned out by Lenalee.

The group came up to the large oaken doors in front of the manor. The doors were covered in mold and cracked and worn with age. Lenalee was the first to press forward. The door was unlocked and creaked open slowly, straining and squeaking with wear.

Dust and the odor of age met them as the door revealed the entrance way. Large set of stairs sat in the center of the large room. The second floor was visible from here. Marble banister complemented the marble floorway which seemed to have faired better than the outside of the large home. Doors were all around and it made one indecisive about which one to choose.

"Uh which way now?" Lavi asked

"Anywhere as long as it's forward." Lenalee said as she stepped across the room, choosing the door on the left side of the staircase.

The group continued to follow Lenalee who walked from room to room. Choosing doors seemingly at random. Moving ever onward. Each room was bare and covered in dust. What drove her forward? What? Only she knew But she wouldn't say.

The next door opened to reveal something different. A large room with a long dining table with candles atop it. A crystal chandelier hung above. It's shine dulled and gone now.

What shocked everyone was what lay against the wall at the end of the rather large room. Someone lay against the wall. His head hung down and his arms were at his sides. He sat there unmoving.

**Drip**...**Drip Drip**

The sound began. From his arms blood began to fall to the floor. It's flow gradually increasing. He was obviously hurt. The finder, Finnigan, rushed towards the hurt man.

Kneeling by his, "Are you okay?" He asked as he inspected the man's arm for wounds.

**Drip**

Lavi looked around the room for signs of a struggle or evidence for this man's injury. There was nothing. Something didn't feel right. His instincts were screaming at him. Screaming something but he couldn't make out what.

**Drip...Drip-AGGH!!**

As the blood flow continued to increase the apparently wounded man's arm shot out, grabbing finder Finnigan's face taking him by surprise. His grip was incredibly strong and he had a firm hold around Finnigan's face

"FINNIGAN!" Lavi shouted for what effect?

The wounded man head still hung low. His brown hair hung over his head concealing his eyes from the sight of the others. A gurgling sound could be heard from Finnigan as he struggled and scratched against the man's incredible grip on his head.

"GUA GU GUUUUH GUAAAHAUAAH GUG GUG GUG!!!!!" The only sounds which came from Finnigan. His body stopped clawing at the arm which held him and instead began flailing about wildly for a time. Only to Lavi's trained eye saw the blood which dropped from in between the the two.

Then the struggling slowed and then came to a stop all together. The brown haired man released his vice like grip on Finnigan as he dropped to the floor, His eyes dull and lifeless. Blood smeared his lips and chin. He was dead.

It all happened so fast! No one had any time to respond.

The brown haired man slowly rose from his former position on the floor with his back to the wall. Now on his feet, his head still hung down with his brown hair obscuring his face and eyes. It was wild and unbrushed. One could see he had a beard though at this angle. His arms hung limply at his sides, unmoving.

**Drip Drip DRIP DRIP DRIPDRIP**

Blood dripped down his arms, down his hands. The red crimson glowed menacingly in the dark room. It grew from dripping to floor in steady droplets, staining the floor a bright red, to a steady flow of river red and continued growing.

The blood pooled around his feet spreading outward. So much! So Much blood!

_This...this isn't right....no human can bleed that much and still remain standing...can still be alive even. _ Lavi's sharp mind thought to himself.

The door flew shut behind the exorcists.

The blood flow continued to increase exponentially it covered the floor of the entire room now.

_This isn't human!_

The brown haired man raised his head slowly without any real effort or zeal to act. He looked straight ahead at the group and his eyes chilled Lenalee to the core

His eyes. They...It was as if they had no hope in them at all. No life or happiness or joy at all in those orbs of his. Those eyes just took you in. You saw yourself reflected in those eyes. Those eyes were so soft and yet they seemed to pierce your very soul the same time. It was as if this person was already dead inside. As if his soul had been killed.

That was when the scars on his forehead appeared and his skin tone turned gray. Those cross shaped scars.

"A Noah!" Lavi spoke out loud.

"A what!? What's a Noah!?" Timothy asked with a slight shake to his voice. He was scared. Scared of this man. But he didn't want anyone to know it. He wanted to be brave. But...but this guy. Everything about him...all of it seemed as if he was already dead. There was no vigor or vitality to anything about him. There seemed to be a dark cloud of depression that hung over him. The sickening aura of Hopelessness loomed about him and matched his posture and eyes.

It was now that Lavi noticed the blood which covered the floor of the room now was at ankle level and was still rising!

Looking back up at this man's face Lavi saw just the smallest sign of a smile grace his face. The first signal of any kind of life on him that is until he spoke.

"Are any of you named Kanda?"

"W...what!" Lenalee asked hesitantly. How could he ask a question like that is such a situation. This scene...it was like something out of a nightmare.

"Are any of you named Kanda?" He asked again

"No" Lavi spoke with confidence albeit a slight crack in his voice for which he mentally berated himself for.

"Alright then. I guess I don't have to put to much effort into this then."

Lavi took note that the blood level in the room was now almost to his knees and still rising! He turned and tried the knob to the door behind him. It didn't open.

Bookman was thinking the same thing as Lavi, "Lenalee! Timothy! The doors! Quick!"

Lenalee snapped to and flew to the side of the room not breaking her gaze from the dangerous man. Yet he made no move to stop her or Timothy who moved a second later after getting snapped out of it by Lavi's voice.

None of the doors they checked would open. Lavi began trying to kick kick down his door but it didn't budge at all. He even tried his hammer but nothing! Impossible! Something weird was going on.

Still the man stood motionless in the center of the room bleeding inhuman amounts of plasma. The blood was now above their knees and at this rate would soon be above their waists.

Lavi was thinking the same thing as everyone else as he turned to face down their executioner._ If we don't do something soon we're going to drown!_

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More to come and it still gets better. Trust me ;)

And as always PLEASE REVIEW. If I get a lot of reviews like last time or numerous lengthly reviews Than another chapter will come out just as fast as this one did, if not faster. So the number and/or quality of review will affect how fast the next chapter comes out. Thanks to all who have been reviewing and a shout out to: Glon Morski, Bookthief 101, Darkz13, Dark-Yuuki-Sama, Aki no hikari, Lord of Murder, Shadow of a life, Micael-sama, XxveryrandomxX. You guys ROCK!! Thank you for your reviews and please keep it up. Also a shout out to those anonymous reviewers who said some kind words. Thanks guys.

~Wolf


	14. A Happy and Tearful Reunion

PLEASE REVIEW

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WHAM !! WHAM!!

The repetitive yet futile sounds of the exorcists innocence striking against the wooden doors which **should** have given way but did not.

Lavi's hammer struck with a frightening force. Enough to crush skulls and break metal to pieces yet did nothing to the wooden door he was now striking.

Even Lenalee's new improved crystallized innocence, with all it's increase in power, did nothing to the doors. Despite this both continued blow for blow hoping to gain some headway with the little time they had remaining.

Bookman stood trying to analyze the situation and formulate and appropriate solution but nothing came to mind. He would come up with something though. He had to.

Timothy was the worst off among them all. Akuma he had experienced before. Akuma were something he was ready to face. But this! This was nothing like that! He had no idea how to deal with this. He had tried to possess the man but...but oh god....just his first attempt had forced him to double over in unbearable pain. He had nearly bent over and fallen in the blood. What he felt when he tried to take that man. It was indescribably painful.

Flashes of things which brought tears to Timothy's eyes which made him nearly scream out loud. But he was a big kid. He wouldn't look like a baby in front of Lenalee and Lavi.

This unbearable aura which nearly broke Timothy's sanity. This dark aura. He had never felt anything like it before. He never wanted to feel **anything** ever again after that. He just wanted to lay down in the blood and drown after that. Anything to escape this overwhelming feeling.

What was this feeling? At that moment words were beyond Timothy and he couldn't come up with anything. But this feeling was inescapable. And that man...that Noah, was drowning in it.

Bookman was the one to notice Timothy nearly scream out loud and nearly slump into the bloody pool that was rising around them. He rushed to Timothy's side and supported him then. _Was it the Noah's power that did this to the boy? _Bookman only had a question he had no answerer. Not for what happened to Timothy. Nor to what they were going to do to escape.

Taking a brief glimpse at the situation in between kicks, Lenalee saw that the man hadn't moved an inch. She saw that Timothy was bent over. He looked like he was about to go hysterical. She assumed it was with fear and she had expected more from him. But he was young. The blood continued rising, higher and higher.

What Lenalee couldn't stand was the look in that man's eyes. The indifference. The apathy towards their strife. It seemed as if he didn't care about anything and **knew** they were going to die. As if it was a certain undeniable fact that had already come to fruition.

That twinge of a smile on his face as he watched them slowly squirm before they died. Completely helpless.

_This guy!_ Lenalee made a small yet powerful fist. Holding it all inside. _He...he thinks were so worthless. So pathetic...how dare he! I...I promised myself...never again...I would never be helpless again._

Lenalee's mind had gone to memories of when she had been incapable of doing anything. When she had lost the ability to use her innocence. When she couldn't help anyone let alone herself. She had been so worthless. So useless. _But I'm not powerless...not now_

She wouldn't let it happen again. With a determination in her eyes and a lapse in her logic and judgment she rushed the unmoving Noah with a speed unseen before and her powerful kick landed full force against his face. But it didn't stop there. A flurry of sonic kicks which brought a sharp breeze throughout the room. The sound of bone crunching and snapping carried on these winds.

It was a brutal assault and the number of frightening blows she had dealt the Noah couldn't be fully captured by the human eye it was that fast. Everyone was busy thinking about the sheer speed and force with which she had given such a beating when they should have noticed that he had not been moved from his spot. He still remained standing.

The last kick had been delivered to his face and had sent his head to the side and bent down. His hair covered his eyes from them at this point.

He looked the same as when they had entered. A man without hope. Except now it was even more prevalent. Like beating someone down who had already lost all hope in the world. It made one feel a pang of guilt in their stomach. Or one would have if the exorcists didn't know what they were dealing with.

He had made no attempt to stop her assault or defend himself. Merely submitting himself to her righteous fury. It was so strange. So odd. Everyone was too busy contemplating this and the speed with which she had delivered her attack to consider a counter attack.

Without looking the brown haired man's arm shot out and grabbed Lenalee around the throat. But what was even more shocking than this was what she saw when the man turned his head to her again. What looked like pure black in liquid form was trailing down his face in rivulets. He was crying!?

He looked at her while gripping her throat tightly. She saw such sorrow in those eyes. Such sadness. His eyes were so heavy with whatever had twisted and crushed his soul. They seemed to speak. That he had given up. That he had submitted. Such a strange thing to go with such strange words which came next.

"Such a pretty girl...I want to taste you."

Lenalee struggled for more air as she barely had enough to keep conscious. Grasping vainly at the wrist which held her, trying to pry it off her.

He brought his face close to hers slowly, as if trying to gage her feelings about such a thing. He was so close. His face was so close to hers she could see the faint light glisten off those black tears of his but no light in his eyes at all. His lips were so close to hers-

**WHAM!!**

Lavi's powerful hammer smashed him down into floor at Lenalee's feet, right where he belonged.

"LENALEE! You okay!?"

Jumping away, trying to put distance between her and the strange, frightening foe. "*cough cough * Yea. I'm fine *cough where'd he go.

Lavi was by her side looking around the room. There was no sign of him. He hadn't come up from under the sea of blood.

"Did I get him?" Lavi asked unsure of his own statement.

It was than that Lenalee noticed something. "What happened to finder Finnigan's body?"

It was true the body was no where to be found. Was it beneath the blood?

They were too busy with such concerns to notice the blood covered hand which slowly crept up out of the pool behind Lavi until it had grabbed his collar and yanked him under the red, reflective surface.

"LAVI!!"

It was too late. He was gone and the blood level had started to rise again with increased fervor. It was now above Lenalee's chest. The pungent smell overpowered her senses. The coppery, iron taste had gotten in her mouth as she swished through the thick life giving liquid. It was so difficult to move in it.

"LAVI!!" She screamed again in hopes of somehow getting a response. She didn't even need to get a response. Just any kind of sign that he was okay.

Her answer was a deafening crack as blood exploded out and upwards. Someone was sent exploding out of the blood and careening until he smashed through the wall leading into the next room. He had been on the receiving end of Lavi's powerful hammer attack.

Said redhead appeared a moment after. Coming up from underneath coughing and sputtering. He was completely stained a crude red. He looked horrific in such a state.

Gasping for breath as he tried to ready his body for the next attack.

"Lena *cough * Lee. *cough cough * get out through *gasp * that hole quick. Take Tim with you. Jiji and I will-"

Lavi was tackled by a blur of motion. Falling backwards into the morbid pool with something sounding like a splash as red droplets were sent everywhere. The enemy Noah was holding Lavi underneath the pool of blood. Suffocating him.

Lenalee was kick to kick him off Lavi and send him flying against another wall. She flew after him to follow up her attack but her kick had been caught by this brown haired Noah.

"Just like all girls. A prude."

With that he threw her with tremendous force through the hole in the wall leading to the second floor. She collided with a few other walls and continued through more rooms until she came to a rolling stop.

Getting up off the floor slowly, being careful for any injuries she might have obtained as she did so. Feeling she was alright as the wooden debris fell off her back as she stood up straight. She had to get back. She had to save Lavi and the others. She had to hurry!

With these thoughts giving her the adrenaline boost to ignore the pain she rushed back through the broken and splintered holes her body had created. But when she arrived the room they had been in was completely empty!

There was no one! No pool of blood! All that was left was the dining table and the red stains that had soaked into the floor and table.

_This is impossible! Where did everyone go?_

Lenalee heart stopped for a moment as she dreaded the worst.

"Lavi!...Timothy!...Bookman! Hello! Anyone!"

Nothing. Only the echo of her voice bouncing through the room and empty corridors of the manor.

Lenalee looked hard for any kind of sign as to where the others had went or even where that Noah had gone. There were no clues. The doors were now open but she could find no sign of anyone. She was scared. Not for herself but for the others. She was afraid that she had failed. That another piece of her world had been destroyed. Another part of her life had been taken from her again. She couldn't stand these thoughts. They swelled up inside her and as hard as she tried she couldn't escape them. She put them to the side though.

_I have to be strong. I'll find them. I know I will._

Lenalee choose a door and began to search the manor. Moving further and further into the depths of the house.

The dusty corridors seem to stretch into infinity. She would call out for her companions on occasion but she would get no reply.

Until she turned a corner and came upon an ballroom hall. At least that's what she figured it was based on the black and white marble flooring and marble staircase in the back of the room. Like something out of a fairytale had it not been so dirty and dreary.

What captured her attention was someone moving towards the staircase. His back was turned to her. He was wearing a suit and a top hat. Yet that hair. That hair was unmistakable.

"A..Allen!?" She called out horsely and in disbelief.

He turned and it was indeed Allen. He looked at her and smiled that smile that only he could give. That seemed to light up her life and give her hope.

"Hello Lenalee."

She couldn't believe it. It was really him. Before she even knew what she was doing she had run up to him with joyous tears in her eyes and wrapped her arms around him in a hug she cried tears of joy into his shoulder. He hugged her back.

"Oh my god Allen. I was so worried about you. Are you okay?"

"Lenalee I'm so happy to see you. And I'm fine. But what's the matter?"

"What's the matter!? I've...we've all been so worried about you! Where have you been. We thought something happened to you. There seemed like there was something wrong with you but you wouldn't let me in and then you just disappeared one day. Why wouldn't I be worried. I'm just so happy to see your alright. But what are you doing here?"

Allen wiped away her tears gently as he held her. She could see he was very happy to see her.

"That's all very complicated but I'll tell you all about it. You're right. There had been something wrong. I'd been thinking a lot about life. About what I was doing. Most importantly I had been thinking about Mana."

"What about your father Allen?"

Allen eyes seemed to show confusion then as he held her in his arms. With concern in his voice he said "What are you talking about. Mana was my younger brother."

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Next Time: Words are shared and hearts are poured open. But once all that is done these things cannot be undone. And things can never be taken back nor go back to the way they once were.

PLEASE REVIEW


	15. The Truth Hurts the Worst

**Hello everyone. I know it's been a long time since my last update. I'll give you the details later and more author bits in later installments. For now let's jump right into what I've left you waiting for more than a year (sorry about that)**

**oh and a correction on the previous chapter. Mana is the 14th's older brother. My bad, sorry. Just replace the word "younger" with "older" **

_**Review!**_** I actually came back because of the reviews and personal messages I recieved from people asking me to continue. Reviews matter people, they really do. Thanks to all those who did it really helped. (looking at you Bookthief101 and Lambo-san)**

**Dying on the Inside Chap. 15**

Lenalee was confused and the breath caught in her throat. "Allen...what are talking about? Mana was your foster father. Don't you remember?"

Allen put his hand to his head, puzzlement and confusion were there, as if he was struggling to clear up something in his mind. To remember something and sort through it all and work out some small confusion in his mind. A moment of clarity came a moment later as he reorganized the pieces properly in his head.

The mounting concern within Lenalee could take no more¸"Allen-"

"I'm sorry" he interrupted, the moment of confusion now over. "You're right Mana was my foster father. I get a little confused nowadays. Sorry about that. He finished with that classic calming smile that was undeniably Allen.

"Allen what are you talking about? Please tell me what's going on with you. Why are you here?" As she gripped the cloth of his chest in an almost pleading manner and lightly buried her head into the crook of his neck. This had all been so overwhelming for her, so devastating. But it would be alright now, Allen was back and everything would go to the way it had been before. She took in his scent and it calmed her nerves as he put his arms around her in order to comfort her obvious distress. She felt her defenses going down and it was as if she could finally breathe again after so long. But there was still concern in the back of her mind.

"Please...let me in Allen. " She whispered, her voice fraught with concern, desperation, need, and an overall plea that was almost childlike. That said all options had been extinguished. Unbeknownst to either one someone was watching them.

Allen seemed at a loss for words and this silence disturbed Lenalee, she could feel something was wrong. She so desperately wanted to quell the tiny voices which said this. To lay this horrible feeling to rest. Finally Allen broke the silence softly and slowly. "I was empty. I no longer had a purpose, I never had one of my own and nothing made sense."

"What?"

"I'd always been walking forward even though I wasn't really alive on the inside. I died the same day Mana did. All I had was a purpose his guiding word. Then I found people who I wanted to protect. Who I cared and loved and that gave me meaning."

Lenalee felt her cheeks brighten and a warmth fill her

"But then my foundation on which my existence as nothing but a tool was destroyed. Everything changed and I was completely empty."

"Allen you're scaring me." Lenalee gripped Allen tighter, afraid of what she was hearing, the small voice of unease growing louder in the back of her mind. Allen reciprocated the gesture. Lenalee didn't want to stop feeling the safety of those arms around her but she could feel something was wrong and it frightened her as much as she tried to pretend it was nothing.

Allen continued "But now I've been filled. Everything I'd been fighting for seems in vain. Now I realize to truly save the souls of not just akuma, but all people requires I be more than just an exorcist. Lenalee felt her stomach tighten into knots and her breath quicken as little by little she began to lose it as the voice of concern in her mind began shouting and bells began to go off as she heard more. Her eyes in complete shock and disbelief as if subconsciously she was connecting the pieces. As if she already knew what was coming.

"What Allen! What Changed?"

"I found out I was going to become everything I had spent my life fighting against. And that fight had all been based on lies."

XXXXXXXX

Lavi stood alone against this new Noah. As soon as Lenalee had been knocked out of the room Road had shown up and at this new Noah's request everyone had been absorbed into her dimension. Road had departed at that point leaving a portal open for Xadi and the words: "The one with the red hair destroyed my body. I'd be careful. Have FUN! She departed after that. With this Noah guarding the only way out. The combined rush by Lavi, Bookman, and Timothy was smashed by the strength of this new opponent. Bookman and Timothy were out of the game, unconscious or dead, Lavi prayed it was the former. It was now down between the two of them. At this point this new enemy began to smile which was as disturbing as when any of his kind smiled. "It looks like it's time for a guy to guy chat huh? But first let's see if I can't change up the scenery her a bit huh? I'm a bit too old for birthday candles and toys."

Road's world shifted. It lost its birthday theme and instead was littered with dead bodies. and the surroundings kept shifting. Lavi momentarily lost his nerve as the scene reminded him of when Road had shown him a pile of Black order Corpses. His friends and colleges who had all died by his inaction.

The Noah however noticed the discomfort. "Remind you of something?"

"Shut up!"

"Not much of a talker are you"

Lavi swung his hammer which was stopped by several beastly decomposing arms which emerged from the Noah. Who used the momentum of the swing to hurl Lavi into a plane of mirrors and before he could recover the Noah had him by the hair. "Quite a one trick pony aren't you."

"Who are you!

"Xadi" and he punctuated that name by smashing Lavi's face into the floor amidst the broken glass.

"You're...You're Xadi! You're the one we're looking for?" Lavi's voice but a whisper as he choked on his own blood.

"You were looking for me?" Xadi had look of mock delight. "Well guess. what! You found me!" and he smashed Lavi's head into the side of the wall. "Like I said before time for some heart to heart guy talk." He flung Lavi across the room. "You're a bookman aren't you?"

Lavi got up, spitting out some blood. "What if I am!"

"I'll just pretend that was a yes. What's with you getting all emotional. That's very unbecoming for someone who doesn't care what the outcome is. Who's only suppose to watch and record history without bias."

"what do you know and I'm a lot more than just one trick." Lavi sent a stream of fire right at Xadi. He could smell the burning flesh...it was strong and...

"I know enough" right behind him! Xadi stood his flesh burned completely off yet didn't bat an eyelash not that he had any left to do that anyway. Lavi leapt away to put some distance between them and readied his next assault. Xadi turned and continued. "I know you shouldn't be getting so emotionally invested in these people. You're not really their friend. You're just a fake, a pretender, a deceiver. You lie to those who trust you with their lives. I know all about bookmen and you're acting very unprofessional. Always watching, never getting involved so you can remember it in a completely objective manner. Why kid yourself. You're nobodies friend. That comes with the title. But to lie and pretend like you are with these people. How do you think they would feel about this. The deepest wound is usually the one delivered in the back."

Lavi refused to buy any of this. The guy was just trying to push his buttons. "Road already tried this and she did a better job then you!" Lavi grew his entire hammer and swung a mass larger than a train, smashing with great force. Through the debris he couldn't tell if he had nailed Xadi.

"I'm not trying anything . This is guy time and I'm lending you some wisdom."

"Does guy time always include broken glass in the face?"

"On a slow night sure. but that's nothing compared to words of truth. I speak from the heart and trust me I've got a lot of them." Xadi's skin grew back along with his clothes and he produced three hearts and began to juggle them. "You're not allowed to truly get involved and interfere You're just suppose to watch. You don't even have a real name anymore. This job, these people, your life it's all just a ruse. All of it is suppose to be meaningless to you but guess what. In our brief time as punching buddies I've noticed something. You're bad at your job! You **do** care about your comrades and this life of yours. But that's still just as sad because when the time comes you can't defend your friends with all your might because you're suppose to just sit back and watch. Poor little Bookman always the observer in life and never the participant. You're no bookman because you care too much but you're just as bad a friend because you won't actually interfere with all your strength on behalf o your friends. You aren't living your life, you're standing passive and indecisive, And the reason you do it is for something you're not even dedicating yourself to one hundred percent. Being a bookman.

No one actually knows the real you do they, do you even know after all this time deceiver. You can never be yourself or let anyone in. All those secrets and lies. Road wasn't playing a trick. She was telling the truth in her own way. Pick a side. Bookman or exorcist. You can't be both. Dedicate yourself to actually helping or hold back and watch your friends die."

"SHUT UP!" Lavi swung again in sheer fury to quiet his words and the conflict in his conscious and soul. he body he hit broke into pieces and quickly rotted. Out of nowhere Xadi was right in Lavi's face again. "Fine. New topic. Girls! How about that pretty one you were with before. What did you call her. Oh yeah. It was Lenalee right?"

***SWING***

***MISS***

***SWING SWING***

***MISS MISS***

It continued on like this. Lavi couldn't stop him or his voice. "Let me guess. From the way things went down back there you care quite a bit for her don't you. But oh no here comes captain inevitable buzz-kill also known as women's basic nature. You're just friends with right, and she probably has feelings for someone else. That's really common, bummer!"

"SHUT UP. HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ME!"

***SWING***

***CATCH***

Xadi, with a firm grip on Lavi's hammer. "I know because it's always the same. Ad let me guess. This girl you pine for has doesn't know about her feelings for this other person does she? She's al confused boo hoo. But he's lucky to have you. Always a friend and never anything more. OH WAIT you're not even really her friend are you. You deceiver HA HA HA HA!

"THAT'S NOT HOW IT IS!" Lavi swung with his free arm in an unprecedented move born more out of desperation than tactic. None the less effective. A sickening crunch as the left fist connected.

Rising from his place on the floor Xadi snapped his jaw into place in an unnatural manner as arms of bone sprouted from his back. A sphere of blood shot out of Xadi surrounding the both of them.

"What in God's name." Lavi muttered

"I control and absorb all dead matter now you remember Finder Finnigan don't you? Say hello" A familiar face sprouted from Xadi's arm and the dead head took a chunk out of Lavi as he screamed in terror or pain?

"There. Aren't guy chats fun. Now why don't-"

With an intensity spawned out of anger or who knows where Lavi began his assault anew with even more ferocity and seemingly better results as the tables seemed to have turned though Xadi seemed to be the one smiling. All the way until he was noting more than a bloody pile of crushed bone and squishy flesh.

Lavi, taking a breather, it was then that the bone and blood pooled and rising out of it was Xadi with the skulls of many dead bests. Crocodiles amongst them. Lavi thought to himself _he's the one responsible for the empty swamp. He absorbed all the dead matter in it" _

The bloody and bony Xadi started to laugh "That's right. with that kind of intensity and passion fueling you I'm sure you'll finally make a decision. I can't wait to see. Remember you have to pick one of your roles. You can't be both. Until then you're not worth killing.

Three portals appeared beneath Lavi, Bookman, and Timothy. As Lavi fell through Xadi waved him goodbye with Finder Finnigan's bony hand and dead vacant face.

XXXXXXX

"Lenalee do you remember that time on the ark. How I could control it?"

Lenalee had lost the ability to speak and all she could do is nod. HIs next words made things click in her head. As she slowly lost her grip on his clothing.

"I discovered the 14th had implanted his memories in me before he died. They've been lying dormant and will soon erode away all that I am leaving only the 14th."

Lenalee felt her entire world shatter at these words though it should have only been a piece of her world right? Then why did it feel like everything in her world had disappeared?

Allen continued "The 14th had an older brother, Mana."

At those words a huge piece to the puzzle started to fill in for Lenalee While Allen continued

"When Mana said he loved me, Mana. The only one in a world who cared for this lonely, rude, orphan. Who named me. When he said he loved me. Did he mean me...or the 14th? I don't have an answer, only questions. I continued living for that promise I made him 'keep walking forward no matter what'. That promise was based on lies and it had been my guiding life and had led me to my reason for being. But I will keep that promise. I will save EVERYONE'S soul not just akuma. I'll save them from sin, cruelty, and this world that corrupts the purest of intentions.

I died when Mana died. All I had was that promise. When I found out he was the 14th's brother I no longer had that. With that gone I was empty as an exorcist. But with the Noah I can keep my promise. I'm going to lay everyone's soul to rest. That will be my gift to the world. Death, death is my gift. Which is more than God ever did for us."

Lenalee felt herself completely lose it. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. In her shock, "This isn't you Allen. It's the 14th's influence. Say it Allen oh god say it."

"I don't know but it no longer matters."

Lenalee's eyes went vacant in shock and disbelief. She couldn't form words or think properly. It seemed to take all her strength just to remain standing. Allen had sided with the Noah? Had left the order? Was now the enemy? This couldn't be happening. She completely forgot about Lavi and the others. She felt her entire world slipping through her fingers and as the mind has defense mechanisms to deal with such trauma so too did one start to form within her. This was impossible, a lie. This couldn't be happening. She depended on Allen. He had always been there for her and been there when things were at there worst to help save them all. Lenalee remembered when she thought he had died. How devastated she had been, how relieved to learn he was in fact alive. She couldn't deal with losing him again. But now...it was like losing him all over again but worse.

"Come with me Lenalee." Allen held out a hand waiting expectantly for her to take it.

"What?"

"Come with me. I want all the people that were important in our lives to be here with us."

"Until the end you mean." Lenalee's head hung down, her hair obscuring her eyes from view. Her lips trembled, her voice devoid of any hint of her feelings.

Allen Spoke, "I know it may be difficult to understand right now but with time I hope you'll see what I'm talking about. You yourself always told me how much you hated god. I've found those feelings to be justified, you should embrace them." His hand still extended, waiting for her. "I've missed all of you a great deal. Please come with me."

Still no visual sign betraying her feelings beyond the trembling of her lips until a stream of tears descended. "It's a lie. THIS ISN'T ALLEN!"

"Lenalee please-"

"NO!" Her head snapped up with resolve and determination mixing with the tears in her eyes. She began to shout as if she were loud enough would make the words true. "This isn't Allen! It's the 14th. YOU'RE NOT ALLEN! YOU'RE THE 14TH!"

Lenalee felt herself crack a bit. Her grip on reality momentarily slip and fragment and it showed in her intense defiance in the face of reality as well as her eyes. Allen was deeply hurt by her words. His hand absent mindedly going to his chest, right where his heart was.

"Lenal-"

"SHUT UP!" Lenalee shouted. "INNOCENCE ACTIVATE!" activating her new crystallized innocence to back up her self-delusions and words with brute force if necessary. A torrent of tears cascading down her face to the floor. Her face set in stone with her decision. "YOU AREN'T ALLEN! I'm going to take you back to the order where they will tell me exactly that. You're just something that looks like him."

Allen was visibly hurt by this and it was at this moment one of their hidden observers decided to make their presence known. A familiar laughter began to echo throughout the dusty marble ballroom. Falling from out of nowhere and right into Allen's arms who caught her by sheer instinct. Still laughing, Road Kamelot wrapped her arms around Allen's neck who held her bridle style. She held Allen possessively as she looked down on Lenalee with a look of superiority.

XXXXXXX

As Tyki strolled amidst the impressive display of dolls which were shelved within the swamp manor he could only sigh at the irony that it was he who was forced to look through a collection of dolls and not Road. This was really more her thing. The collection was quite vast. It was a small library worth of dolls. Hearing a sound Tyki turned to see a little girl holding her own doll.

"Hello there sweetie. Could you help me find something."

"This is my grandma's place. You should leave!

Tyki rubbed the bridge between his eye and nose with one finger as he sighed yet again. "Sweetie listen-"

"NOW!" Her eyes glowed along with her doll. Tyki took a hit off his cigarette. definitely a job for Road, playing with dolls and little girls

XXXXXXXXX

**REVIEW! I actually came back because of the reviews and personal messages I received. They matter, seriously. Thanks to all those who reviewed or sent me a personal message. Sorry if this chapter wasn't as good as my others. I wanted to get it out to you all as fast as possible. I actually dislike it a bit. I feel it could be better. Let me know what you guys think.**

**Lavi got a pounding, Tyki's playing with dolls, and Allen and Road are in a position that would make most girlfriends lose it! What won't I make these guys do? What's that smell? Is that Lemon? Do lemons have a smell? Some of this will be answered next time because I won't bother answering if lemons have a smell.**

** On another topic I delivered 12 pages worth of story for your pleasure. I think that's my longest chapter ever. Again sorry for being gone for so long I hope this makes up for it ;) Also I hope you've been keeping up to date on the latest releases of D-Gray Man. Why Hello Alma.**

**Next Time****: Who's this little girl? Will Road make this situation worse (As if one even needs to ask) what happened with me, Sugar n' Sweet and lollipop on our visit to the quack Therapist? Have we been tied up in a room for a full year until movers came in to remove the furniture. Maybe. Maybe I don't want to talk about it! Check back in later to find out.**


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